Embarrassed?

I recognize that the last 4 posts have had something to do with a product I have purchased (or am considering purchasing). It's a little embarrassing.

I like to manage the perception that people have of me. It's my own pathology. And that type of thing certainly leads to death, I know this.

But it's something I've done forever. I like to be perceived in a particular way. Right now, I'm hoping that you're saying, "Wow. This guy is transparent."

;)

Anyway, the thing is, I'm trying to let that go. I'm trying to get more comfortable in my skin. Yes, I still dream, I still hold ideals, I still think consumption is an awful disease. But I am trying to be a little less black and white about it.

And that's hard. Because I want people to think highly of me. "That Ryan Sharp, he's really living it. He's living simply and really doing it."

But it's not true. I watched 3 episodes of Heroes last night, ate at a chain fast food restaurant a few days ago, drive more than I should, and consume fancy products like the iPhone.

And it's not that I'm just okay with it, but I'm learning that life is a boat, rocking back and forth. And I'm getting more comfortable with that.

So embarrassed? Maybe a little.

Redeemed

We returned the Blackberry and both got 16G iPhones. Very happy with that decision. Also glad to have passed through the hype-time. We were waiting at Apple for less than 15 minutes.

But my email hasn't been working consistently. D'oh!

I never thought I'd want one of these things. When the first one was released (even announced!) I wasn't really phased. At that point, I liked having my phone here, my camera there, and my email and internet on my 13" MacBook. But I was caught up in the buzz about the new one. Faster speed, better apps, and I figure it might eventually allow me to let my MacBook go and eventually bump back to an iMac instead.

But right now, with not having email (which is apparently a reported issue), I'm a tad perturbed. That's the one thing that the BlackBerry did wonderfully!

Blackberried!

BlackBerry Device Software cannot be installed from a Mac OS computer. You must install BlackBerry Device Software from a Microsoft® Windows® computer.

Well, isn't that inconvenient. D'oh.

From Cortland to Portland

Our offer was accepted. Closing date is August 21st. And we're planning our move to be in mid-September. This is good news.

Prius to Matrix

So, I'm thinking that we might leave our Prius in CA, since it has those fancy carpool stickers and all. I'm thinking that we'll sell it here and buy a Matrix (or Vibe?) in Portland...perhaps even one with all-wheel-drive.

Any thoughts on this?

Long Shot

I don't suppose there's anyone out there who could get me 2 free tickets to the Taste of Terroir - Livermore Valley's Wine & Food Experience for Thursday, July 24, 2008?

There's a free TCS t-shirt and entire discography for lifetime in store for you! :)

So Strange

I listen to Lake Wobegon unironically. I remember my parents having Garrison Keillor's tapes when I was a kid. Weird.

Back in SF

Crazy Weekend

Adam's Party
Folks in Town
JFP
Airports
Wine
Pool
Tentative Acceptance of our Offer on the House (!!!)

Some pics...

JFP Tonight

No House Yet

Tomorrow we head back down south, to Oakland, where it's said to be triple-digit weather. We've a full weekend ahead of us!

The first half of the trip here was spent looking for places, meeting up with folks, working, playing with Pax at the playground. As I wrote last week, we found a place we're really excited about. But we're still going back and forth on price and whatnot.

These kinds of decisions always make me think that I should pray more, but then I catch myself wondering why I should ask God to help me instead of person on the other end of the deal. Should I really ask God to favor me over the seller? Now, in this case, the seller is a bank, so yes, God should pick me ;) over them.

But I guess I'm glad everything hasn't happened too quickly. Even though we still feel great about this property, I have appreciated seeing other houses (even since we put the offer on this house) and learning about the whole process along the way.

So, fingers crossed, rosaries held, chants murmured, and prayers prayed. We really would like this place, so if you're the praying kind, then please, by all means, ask that we'd get this place for a price we can afford!

Disturbing the Peace?

Tonight

Thanks Jon. It's painful and beautiful when someone else can express how you feel...

I'm not sure why it always goes downhill
Why broken cisterns never could stay filled
I've spent ten years singing gravity away
But the water keeps on falling from the sky

And here tonight while the stars are blacking out
With every hope and dream I've ever had in doubt
I've spent ten years trying to sing these doubts away
But the water keeps on falling from my eyes

And heaven knows, heaven knows
I tried to find a cure for the pain
Oh my lord! to suffer like you do
It would be a lie to run away

So blood is fire pulsing through our veins
We're either riders or fools behind the reigns
I've spent ten years trying to sing it all away
But the water keeps on falling from my tries

And heaven knows, heaven knows
I tried to find a cure for the pain
Oh my lord! to suffer like you do
It would be a lie to run away
A lie to run, it would be a lie
It would be a lie to run away

It keeps on falling
Water keeps on falling from my eyes

New Territory

We make an offer on a house today. This is completely uncharted territory in our small world. Had a chance last night to meet a new friend and chat about the value of viewing life in seasons...and allowing values to be flexible enough to change with us as we begin to see things in different ways.

More to come.