Embarrassed?

I recognize that the last 4 posts have had something to do with a product I have purchased (or am considering purchasing). It's a little embarrassing.

I like to manage the perception that people have of me. It's my own pathology. And that type of thing certainly leads to death, I know this.

But it's something I've done forever. I like to be perceived in a particular way. Right now, I'm hoping that you're saying, "Wow. This guy is transparent."

;)

Anyway, the thing is, I'm trying to let that go. I'm trying to get more comfortable in my skin. Yes, I still dream, I still hold ideals, I still think consumption is an awful disease. But I am trying to be a little less black and white about it.

And that's hard. Because I want people to think highly of me. "That Ryan Sharp, he's really living it. He's living simply and really doing it."

But it's not true. I watched 3 episodes of Heroes last night, ate at a chain fast food restaurant a few days ago, drive more than I should, and consume fancy products like the iPhone.

And it's not that I'm just okay with it, but I'm learning that life is a boat, rocking back and forth. And I'm getting more comfortable with that.

So embarrassed? Maybe a little.