I recognize that the last 4 posts have had something to do with a product I have purchased (or am considering purchasing). It's a little embarrassing.
I like to manage the perception that people have of me. It's my own pathology. And that type of thing certainly leads to death, I know this.
But it's something I've done forever. I like to be perceived in a particular way. Right now, I'm hoping that you're saying, "Wow. This guy is transparent."
Anyway, the thing is, I'm trying to let that go. I'm trying to get more comfortable in my skin. Yes, I still dream, I still hold ideals, I still think consumption is an awful disease. But I am trying to be a little less black and white about it.
And that's hard. Because I want people to think highly of me. "That Ryan Sharp, he's really living it. He's living simply and really doing it."
But it's not true. I watched 3 episodes of Heroes last night, ate at a chain fast food restaurant a few days ago, drive more than I should, and consume fancy products like the iPhone.
And it's not that I'm just okay with it, but I'm learning that life is a boat, rocking back and forth. And I'm getting more comfortable with that.
So embarrassed? Maybe a little.