more of a "sloppy engineer who doesn't respect rules if they are
I have been aware, for a very long time, that I am very left-right
brained. I'm an 8 who is locked up by empathy and people-pleasing. I'm
a walking paradox.
And this helps make sense of my feelings of fakeness around "real
artists" and of course around non-rule-breaking types as well.
I'm not talking about the definition of artist that says everyone is
one. Of course I know I am one in some sense.
But I'm not an Artist. Or at least I don't fit nicely into that
category. Which–as soon as I'm ready to pat myself on the back for–I
realize that it also means I hardly ever do anything way better than
anyone else. I'm not specialized or really uniquely gifted.
I'm not even particularly interested in reading artist (or even
musical) publications. I don't read books about business or branding.
I'm kind of a professional poser. Holly is a much truer artist than
I'll ever be.
This isn't some pity party at all. Just a strange semi-public
recognition that I make my money in a field that I only sorta swim in.
But it's a convenient category to slip into for some time while I get
my shit together.