three days ago, i realized i had what felt to be overenflamed tastebuds all across my tongue... perhaps 3 or 4 in all... or maybe they were kanker sores or something else that i dont even know about...
the point is, i had no idea just how painful these small things would end up becoming... sunday for lunch i took a walk down the beach to the harbor and got a slice of pizza... i was so excited about the pizza... i could smell it cooking... and each bite was a great pain to bear through... every time something just barely skirted across my tongue, i felt it, and with amazing pains... ouch...
hopefully, these sores or whatever they are, are just passing through... and hopefully theyll be gone before i know it...
but in the meantime, it makes it hard to speak even... perhaps this is a time to hold my tongue?... i dunno... but yesterday, holly and i were driving to santa cruz and i got in this phone conversation with someone with whom there had been a miscommunication and boy i lashed out... it was a bad day... i mean, i had peed on my shoe on accident earlier that day... but instead of listening, i just lashed out...
listen, ryan, listen...
so, we all love to talk, me especially, but perhaps when you become in a social setting 'the talker' then its hard to hear others' perspectives... feeling like you want to be understood, you talk a little more to make sure you are being understood, when the other person just wants to be understood and validated as well...
this was to be my week of listening... tomorrow i am going to san fransisco to see a friend who is a kind of spiritual director for me... kind of a rabbi... and today i am with my in-laws... listen, ryan, listen... i will try...
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