Patrick, the Saint

So I realize that I might get branded heretic for this, but what else is new?

vs.

We were having a discussion last night about the 4-leaf clover and the 3-leaf clover. As we'd heard, St. Patrick found the 3-leaf clover to be a great illustration for the trinity...that is, a good way to explain that God was Father-Son-Spirit. He used it in explaining the triune nature of God.

We wondered out loud what the 4-leaf would mean then? Perhaps he would include himself?

And it got me thinking about how so much theology is based around how people are really just pawns...and really heaven is the reality and not here-and-now. And I disagree with so much of that. It just doesn't seem to be much of what Jesus spoke about...with the Kingdom being at hand and his mission being so dependent on the disciples who bore his name.

So perhaps a 4-leaf clover is a better understanding of how God works in this world...that it's Father-Son-Spirit-Creation...all in harmony...connected...inter-reliant.

Or am I just a heretic with some wishful thinking? Or am I just articulating someone else's thoughts?

Pretty Cool

...to see that The Cobalt Season is in regular rotation in Olympia, Washington.



If you live near Olympia, please call (360-867-6896) or email KAOS FM to request more The Cobalt Season.

Blogging Blues

So, I just swapped over some of my files to different servers. Turns out that I lost some files along the way...including my banner from the blog. Sad day.

The Stars at Night... Are Big and Bright...

...but not in Houston, where Holly and I are this week. It's nice to be back in the 70s temperature-wise. The sticky shirt thing from the humidity? Yah, that's not so cool.

Out here for 10 days producing an album for Mr. Jasen Ashdown...a lenten season album. 6 songs to soothe the soul.

Perhaps a house show as well.

Yes, cell phones and email do work in the Lone Star State so you can reach me should ya need to pardner.

Track 10: I, Obstruction

DOWNLOAD MP3

NOTES:

Life is full of failure. And to succeed is only possible by not fearing failure. Still, I fear failure. I fear having made decisions that ended me in places that are not as important as others.

My friends are writing books, saving the world, giving away all their money. S'pose I'll inspire a revolution? I dunno. Perhaps I should have focussed less of my life energy on ideas and more on relationships.

People, after all, are more important than ideas...says Bono.

Turns out I am the obstruction in the River of Life that is attempting to make its way through, bringing healing into this world. How do I stop being part of the problem? Certainly self-awareness is a place to start?

LYRICS:

It's flat for miles around me
Land as far as I can see
S'pose the world is kinda like that
Seems a fine idea to me

So I'll write it in a book now
And I'll sell it to the masses
And I'll inspire a revolution
Until the lonliness passes

And what the hell's wrong with me?
I should have been a father
I should have been a brother
I should have been a friend

So forget about religion
It'll never save your soul
Not even capitalism
Son it could make your wife a whore

Just get rid of all your crap now
Just give it to the poor
So that they can have your crap now
So that they can want some more

Turns out it's never quite that easy
Or perhaps it really is
That man's words, they come to haunt me
Those words they come to haunt me

I need a brand new story
One to set my world at peace
Tired of waiting here 'till Glory
I need that Kingdom to release

Come floodin' down my street here
Come streamin' through my hall
Come swellin' up around my bedside
Come with healing now for all

It turns out I am the obstruction
Turns out I have been one
To loose them or enslave them
And just leave them all undone

GET THE STUDIO ALBUM or
GET THE LIVE ALBUM

Thanks Craig...

...for pointing me to this old Terry Gross interview with Triumph the Insult Comic dog. Ha.

Talents Remixed

I'm reading Ched Myer's Binding the Strong Man: A Political Reading of Mark's Story of Jesus. Incredible book. Been reading it for a couple months now. Wow. Mind-blowing.

I just was in a conversation about investment, savings, future planning. We pondered the Parable of the Talents. We had always heard it as a pro-investment story. Ched says that we might have once again domesticized one of Jesus' truly subversive parables again. The article is worth the read.

A snippet...

When the sociocultural context indigenous to the story is ignored or suppressed, however, we inevitably recontextualize the story in terms of our own unconscious political assumptions. Our imposed schema often defy the coherence of the text itself.

More importantly, though, this interpretive strategy functions to domesticate the parable to conform with our status quo. Thus stories meant to challenge our preconceptions are used to legitimate them. In this way, we disarm the some of the Gospels' most powerful rhetorical weapons--weapons whose very intent is to rescue believers from domestication by that same status quo.

LIVE: It's now available...

Very excited to announce the newest album from The Cobalt Season... LIVE: Deconstructing the American Dream. 17 tracks of conversation and song. I think it really captures the vibe and experience of our live shows. Allowing for flub-ups and spontaneous happenings.



It's available exclusively for download...

Or check out the store for more ordering options... Or email me about reviewing it on/in your blog/publication and getting the download comped!

And Just Like That, The World Changes

In the words of Over The Rhine, I can't bear the news in the evening...

While viruses and security weaknesses are almost everyday occurrences for owners of Windows-based computers, they are virtually unheard of in the world of Apple.

But that world is changing.

FRICK!

Track 9: El Greco

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Some art to set the tone. Look up close for the original lyrics on this piece that Holly and I did.



NOTES:

Life is fragile. So are relationships. It's hard to know how to live in a certain way communally... how to live expecting and embracing diversity on common themes.

Lord knows I haven't yet figured it out.

LYRICS:

If you press to hard, you might break me
And if I say too much, you might crumble
Or is this already done?

Too many times I've tried to save you, but I've lost you
Too many times I've tried and failed
And failed
And this is all I know

So dont try to catch me
You've nothing to say
If I drift farther, walk away

GET THE ALBUM

Photos from the Road

I realized that I have inputed a great deal of text this last month. How about some pics? Haven't taken as many as I ought to have, but hopefully it'll translate our trip thus far...

Ah, barbed wire...


A show at SCU with Mr. Jesse Nason...




The Dave Hanley Band. We played this show with them in Oakland and will do another this week in Modesto. Great folksy-bluegrassy heartfelt songwriting...


A house show in the 3rd story of a house in the Mission District...


An evening at the Brainwash Café in San Francisco...


Headin' north up the 1. View out the car window... Wow.


Pulled off of Hwy 1 just south of Ft. Bragg...


The Cobalt Season on a marquis. This is a first...


The Trinity River (along CA Hwy 299)...


Driving Hwys 1 and 299 were so incredible for me. Such beauty. Few people around. It felt at times what I imagine driving the Irish coast to feel like. On the 299, we found a wonderful little place called Straw House Café where we had one of the better meals we've had this year! Mmm.

Just Now... Really.

I just purchased our tickets to Europe and our Eurail passes. Kinda scary to solidify it. We're really going.

Care to know the details? They have changed.

We leave April 16th from San Francisco. We arrive into Amsterdam the morning of the 17th, hop a train to Brussels where we'll get our first night of sleep. Then we fly to Barcelona and begin our trek across Spain, France, Switzerland, Italy, Germany, France, Luxemborg, Belgium, and back up to Amsterdam by May 16th. Then we'll fly back to the States to be home May 17th.

It both wears me out and excites me to type it. Wow. We're really going.

Sparrows

A new painting. It's a diptic (2 pieces to create 1 larger piece). A little something the wife did. I simply scribbled some words on it...and the words aren't even mine.

More of her paintings...

Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday

Ash Wednesday has come to be a marker-point each year for me. It begins a season I look forward to (and fear)... Lent.

I did not grow up Catholic, so Lent is a bit of a new thing for me... something that I've only really discovered in my adult life. But it has been a formative thing these last couple a few years.

Lent is an opportunity each year to work out of my system some form of unhealth, whether it be spiritual unhealth, physical unhealth, both, all, whatever. It's a chance to release something for 40 days to focus on something else. And at the end of the 40 days, it's a chance to re-negotiate one's relationship with that thing.

Holly is going to attempt a more additive approach this year. I might stick to my nominal subtractive formula.

Will has some comments on Lenten Practices. He says This year in community we will also be practicing a proactive discipline. So, instead of simply denying ourselves something, we will be seeking to actively do something that strengthens our ties to our community, whatever that community might be.

Track 8: My Pilgrimage

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NOTES:

I feel as though I have shared an abbreviated version of this story a thousand times now. That almost 5 months ago, we moved out of our Oceanside apartment, packed our stuff into storage, and left.

What a trip it has been. What a trip indeed. A pilgrimage. A chance to go out and learn from others. Share stories and hear even more. To be inspired and hopefully somehow inspire along the way.

Autumn air has been our cure in so many ways...

LYRICS:

Well today is a brand new day, I'll start again
Open-eyed, I can see the sky open up for me
Here we are, you and me, we can see we're going somewhere
But where we go, I dunno, feel it out when we get there

Well yesterday, you could say, is just a blip on my screen
Follow me close, heel to toes, you'll see what I mean
Or maybe you won't or you shan't or you can't hear what I say
Either way, yeah or nay, gotta go, gotta leave this place

And the mysteries they follow me into the backroads
And the sunset comes to tuck me in; wake to the sparrows
The road becomes my home again if I need one
The earth becomes my bed; my light, the sun
Oh and I will follow...

Too many dreams, crazy schemes, for us just to sit here
Not that we know what's ahead, but we're dead in the water now
Home's not what we thought, what we bought, did we buy, I'm not so sure
But seasons change, rearrange, and autumn air has been our cure

And the mysteries they follow me into the backroads
And the sunset comes to tuck me in; wake to the sparrows
The road becomes my home again if I need one
The earth becomes my bed; my light, the sun
Oh and I will follow...

Please don't forget us while we're gone...

And the mysteries they're taking me down the backroads
And the sun is up to lead the way... east, I suppose
The trees becomes my travellin' friends cause I'll need one
The earth is now my bed; my light, the sun
Oh and I will follow...

GET THE ALBUM

The Great River

Turns out I have been using parts of this quote for months, but I have to thank Smallman for showing me where it was from. And what a beautiful speech this is. And how timely for some of us.

We have been telling the people that this is the Eleventh Hour.

Now you must go back and tell the people that this is The Hour.

And there are things to be considered. Where are you living? What are
you doing? What are your relationships? Are you in the right relation?
Where is your water? Know your garden.

It is time to speak your truth: Create your community. Be good to each other.

And do not look outside yourself for the leader: This could be a good time!

There is a river flowing now very fast. It is so great and swift that
there are those who will be afraid. They will try to hold onto the
shore. They will feel they are being torn apart and they will suffer
greatly.

Know the river has its destination.

The elders say we must let go of the shore, and push off into the
river, keep our eyes open, and our head above the water.

See who is in there and celebrate. At this time in history, we are to
take nothing personally. Least of all ourselves. For the moment that
we do, our spiritual growth and journey comes to a halt.

The time of the lone wolf is over. Gather yourselves! Banish the word
struggle from your attitude and your vocabulary. All that you do now
must be done in a sacred manner... and in celebration.

We are the ones we've been waiting for...

"The Great River" - The Elders, Hopi Nation, Oraibi, Arizona

Ha!

Thanks to Mike for one of the funniest things I have seen online in some time. A new book called A Field Guide to Evangelicals and Their Habitat.

As Mike said, it's worth your time to check out the previewable chapter.

Here's a screenshot of the MASTER LIST OF WHO GOES TO HELL...

We're Playing In The Bay, Yo

So Darin wanted to know where we were playing in the Bay... since I only posted dates/cities on our itinerary. So, for those of you interested in seeing The Cobalt Season (me and Holly), go here for a complete list of dates and maps. Below for you slackers who just want the quick info...

Thursday 8pm Red Rock Coffee - Mountain View, CA

Friday 7pm Mama Buzz Café - Oakland, CA

Saturday 8.30pm The Well (House Show) - San Francisco, CA

Monday 8pm Brainwash Café - San Francisco, CA

Revised Itinerary

Some of you have been asking where we're going to be and when... For you, here it is, our 'official intinerary'. Cheers!

Please, please, please... if it looks like we will be in your area, let's connect!

Feb 23 - Los Altos, CA
Feb 24 - Oakland, CA
Feb 25 - San Francisco, CA
Feb 26 - Oakland, CA
Feb 27 - San Francisco, CA
Feb 28 - Oakland, CA
March 1 - Northern CA Coast
March 2 - McKinleyville, CA
March 3 - Redding, CA
March 4 - Chico, CA
March 5 - Davis, CA
March 6-9 - Sacramento/Tahoe, CA
March 10 - Modesto, CA
March 11 - Sacramento, CA

March 12-22 - Houston, TX

March 23-24 - Driving to OR
March 25-27 - Portland, OR
March 28-29 - Astoria, OR

March 30 - Driving to WA
March 31-April 4 - Seattle, WA
April 5-7 - Olympia/Tacoma, WA
April 8-10 - Seattle, WA
April 11-14 - Olympic Peninsula, WA

Traveling and more traveling...

It's been a good while since I last posted (by my standards) and I know some of my posts have been fewer and far between. Some of it has been intentional... that is, I wonder sometimes about the value of dis-embodied ideas on a screen... I mean, is information really that transformational outside of real relationships? ...and some of it has been simply because we have been traveling so much. And that does not look to let up soon.

I will continue to post songs on each Monday (taking a break on behalf on Mr. Lincoln and Mr. Washington, God rest their souls), starting next week.

I will also attempt to post an itinerary for those of you who would find it useful... so you can track/stalk us if you wish.

Hope you are well. What a wonderful opportunity we have had and continue to have... traveling to see and interact with other's lives. This has been a remarkable season of life for us. Wow.

Adbusters Activist

I stumbled upon this article online. I love this magazine.

Unfortunately, I dropped the activist ball as I settled back into my daily routine. There was work, soccer games and homework. So I left it up to “them” to handle in a sensible way, but while I was clocked out, the bosses took liberties. They constructed an invisible terror.

I can’t put my finger on what “it” is because “it” is in an imperceptible fog. Sometimes I stop dead in my tracks and spin around to see what’s watching me. Usually, it’s just a camera or uniform that’s there for my safety. This should be fine, since I asked and paid for this security in a roundabout way. But it doesn’t feel right.

In a bizarre example of this trigger-finger patriotism, an American citizen was arrested in a suburban mall for wearing a t-shirt that said “Peace on Earth” and “Give Peace a Chance.” Most of us laughed at this caricature of overanxious mall cops, but deep down, we felt a twinge of terminal illness, a shortness of breath.

What was once considered a basic freedom of speech can now be deemed anti-US. Protesting against government machinery could be considered sympathizing with terrorists. Worse, the laws are open-ended – purposely ambiguous, they cover any conceivable scenario.

Our incessant need for home comforts and paternal protection has birthed a police state of sorts. We’ve become a republic of jumpy guardians, anxious to perform our patriotic duty at all costs. I thought I was just being paranoid, but then I looked at the Patriot Act, which essentially says that anyone could be arrested for being a member of any group that at anytime might be considered anti-US.

Read the whole article. Or read about ways that America is keeping its citizens safe.

Track 7: Pull Me Through

DOWNLOAD MP3

NOTES:

I want to save the world. I want to rescue everyone (including myself) from self-destructive patterns, to help them to see a better way. I want to be everything to everyone.

But I've realized that I can only do so much... and that's hard to come to grips with.

Parker Palmer, in his book Let Your Life Speak, writes about becoming aware of (and familiar with) our shadows, our weaknesses, our liabilities. He says that when you build a bridge, you consider the strengths and weaknesses of the elements that you will build with. Wood has certain properties that make it wood, but there are weak, shadow sides to the wood as well. It simply cannot be steel.

People are not raw natural resources to be extracted and then made into whatever someone wants them to be. We all come with some preset (or at least pre-disposed) strengths and weaknesses. Not all of us can be astronauts or the President of the US or a business-owner.

But isn't that freeing to hear? Aren't those saving words? That we can be who we were created to be and not who society tells us or expects us to be? I think so.

Still, this song is about personally coming to terms with that before we left Oceanside.

LYRICS:

Closed eyes
Bruised heart
I would know you anywhere

Too many times
Been torn apart
I know what's behind that stare

But I can't pull you through
I'm not the one to


These latter days
Been flyin' low
Not knowing what's to come 'round here

If salvation rings
And mercy sings
Then why all of this played-out fear?

It's just brings me down
I can't come around


Holly sighs
Says it's a long-time comin'
Perhaps I shoulda listened back then

Maybe we're the same
Or maybe I'm to blame
But something's gotta give or bend

And you can't pull me through
Even if you wanted to

You can't pull me through
I know you wanted to


Won't somebody pull me through?

GET THE ALBUM

Lost in Augora Hills, CA

This afternoon, Holly and I drove up from South Orange County to Ventura County. We are staying with some friends near Thousand Oaks.

They live near these beautiful hills. So, after catching up with them for an hour or so this afternoon, I say, "Let's go hike those hills." We did.

We began our trek at least an hour before sunset...with plenty of time to get up and down and back home...but we got lost. And we found ourselves traversing through bushes taller than me in the dark and near-dark.

Dark outside I tell ya. Dark. And noises. And oh the scurrying that we heard.

But we made it home. Ahh.

So strange that civilization was always in sight, but we just couldn't find our way back to it. That's got to be a metaphor for something right?

Back in O-side

Played a show with Mike Devries and friends tonight in Orange County. Drove south and now we're about to crash at the 814 in Oceanside. Nice to be back at 'home'. Time for sleepytime.

...

Thanks Scott for the thoughtful posting today.

Too often our motives smacks of paternalism {as do the words downtrodden, underclass} I the wealthy westerner, reach out in compassion to help you improve yourself. We see ourselves as on the side of Christ by giving to the needy, Mathew 25 makes it plain however that Jesus is on the side of the poor, and we serve best by elevating the downtrodden to the place of Jesus... - Mahatma Gandhi

Tax Day

Working on Turbo Tax today to file our 2005 Income Tax Return... you know, filling out our Schedule C, learning about interesting exemptions and deductions... like this one...



Who knew? I wonder what checking that box would get me.......

Track 6: Glory

DOWNLOAD MP3

NOTES:

I wrote this song just after hearing about this news story. I guess some of my details are/were off, but the point stands: One person's decision caused these people's death.

It struck an interesting chord in me because in light of the US occupation in Iraq. One man's decision resulting in so much death.

Some say pride is the biggest sin. I think that stickin' to your guns when you're dead wrong might just be pride. You do the math...

LYRICS:

im so tired of hearin the same old story
to grim to bleak to have to look towards that one day in glory
when one mans plan seem to force some to head over... before their time
but he ran away, run away, don't think he'll mind

run away... you'll be fine...

damned when our dreams dont get realized
damned when we're found out by all our petty lies
damned when our plans fail, damned when people try
damned when i cant see the truth through these jaded eyes

these eyes... see through these eyes...

but i'll tell ya somethin'
more than i want to know, i want to feel
that somehow... its all gonna be alright
tell me it's gonna be alright

ill tell ya about this young man who thought it was over
still that gas-guzzlin suv just couldnt crossover
damned boy walked though, kept to that high ground
them people had no choice, inside those train cars they drowned

he walked away... from this mess...

tell me bout that president from yesteryear
somethin about a better way of life through military fear
somethin about a better plan, this better man was stickin to his guns
damn theres gotta be a better way this world can be run

but i'll tell ya somethin'
more than i want to know, i want to feel
that somehow... its gonna be alright

and more than i want to see, i need to hear
someone tell me somehow... that it's gonna be alright
tell me it's gonna be alright

GET THE ALBUM or better yet, come see us play...

Hello San Diego!

It's been nice to be back in San Diego. Got in Friday night. Had dinner with my sister. Spent some good time with our 'hosts'... Brooke and Jason Evans. Last night did a house show at their place. What a great time. Incredible conversations. And plenty of New Castle and hefeweizen. Mmm.

Some pics of the Matts who went before me...




And of us...




Nights like this remind me that it is good that we are doing what we are doing. That it fits. That it's potentially helpful. That helps me sleep at night.

Heading South

We left Santa Cruz (and the whole of the Bay Area) on Monday and headed south down Highway 1. Saw the elephant seals...they had just had pups.



We stopped in Cambria for a night (thanks to Travelzoo) and found ourselves a couple wineries. The next day we met our friends Brad and Birgitte Clark in San Luis Obisbo for lunch...then headed up to Hearst Castle (which was closed).

Spent the last couple nights in Lompoc (where the Clarks reside). It's been a restful, conversive time. Good stuff.

Today we're heading south to San Diego, where we'll be for the next week or so. It's good to be back on the road...really good.

And I'm excited about this trip. It will have a very different personality from our Fall Pilgrimage just because we're playing more bars and coffee houses and going to places where we know less people...but places we are drawn to all the same (Pacific NW).

Exciting times lie ahead...in so many ways.

Track 5: Twenty-Eight

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NOTES:

This song was originally called Now I'm Twenty Eight. I wrote it thinking about where I am at these days, where I thought I'd be, and perhaps where others though I would be.

It's tricky trying to catch up with a man like Jesus... or Gandhi or Sidartha for that matter. But my eyes are fixed on trying to emulate this man who changed the world through love. But I find myself out of breath often.

My buddy Mike wondered if this song was about being 'born into the church'. I don't know whether it's about literal family, spiritual family, or metaphorical family. I've always felt a bit misunderstood, so perhaps it's all three.

LYRICS:

27 years have passed me by
And I was just sittin' here
Tryin' to find myself

The best I can remember I'm the one
The smoking gun
Always the problem child

See I was born into family that was blind
Blind to the future
Blind to my searchin' heart

Reckon they don't mean me any harm
Just doin' what they're doin'
And I'm doin' fine now

Cause I found my voice
Saw I had a choice
And mine was not to follow
But what am I to do?
Am I just passin' through?

Well 27 years could not reconcile
Me to my searchin'
Never findin' what I'm lookin' for

Runnin' out of breath to understand
Catchin' up with a man
Who died all those years ago

And I'm not so strong
Hope you won't wait too long
Cause I'm so damn tired of waiting
But what am I to do?
Who am I to you?

27 years and I'm still here
Same scared kid
Lookin' for his freedom

But freedom's seldom what we think it is
Empty rhetoric
Freedom's often greed dressed-up

So I'll just move on
Find somewhere to belong
And wonder where you're comin' and you're goin'
And hope to see you then
My friend

GET THE ALBUM

Thanks Chris...

...for this post.



Chris writes... I remember hearing about this air attack about two weeks ago and was speechless at what the CIA had done. I was not surprised, for I know that the CIA historically does whatever violent thing it wants (or thinks it needs) to steer the course of history. But something was so strange that this event was blatantly public as news stations were covering the random bombing of a building 'believed' to contain an Al Qaeda operative. The story is eerily mirrored in the recent movie Syriana. Just out of nowhere, a building in a village (Damadola) is bombed from the sky by the CIA. Imagine that happening next to your house...They found that the suspect was not in the house, about 13 (8 men and 5 women) people were killed, and three houses bombed. Here is a news story (AP/Yahoo) on the event.

Has anyone found the irony in the US saying that it will not deal with Hamas unless they 'renounce violence'???!!! Hilarious! This statement has been so true during this civilian-killing, terror-inducing 'war on terror': If you have one ship you are a pirate; if you have a whole fleet you are a prestigious navy.

Cornel West

You might want to option-click here to download an incredible speeh by Cornel West at Whitman College. (Here are some others including Gandhi's grandson.)

Jason Evans told me to hunt down any of this guy's MP3s. Thanks man.

Me: MIA

Busy. Busy. Busy. Three words that define my daily rhythm right now. Finishing up the new Relational Tithe site. Booking shows for this upcoming trip. Managing a few jobs, estimating others, invoicing others.

I feel like I am full of shit. I have felt this way for a long time. My friend Troy says that we're all full of shit. Perhaps he's right. And perhaps that's the life of a prophet or an idealist or a conscious human.

All we have are best-attempts, right?

Here's a poem I wrote in Michigan last year and refined this month in Santa Cruz.

I need directions to Zion. How long will we drive around in our seclusion-capsules, searching circularly for the mountain of wholeness? Have we lost our way or do we only have best-guesses? Is there guidance in our chaos or are we doomed to the laws of the supposed material? Decay? Brokenness? Death? Can all be made whole as we climb Mount Zion?

Shows in CA

We're still booking and arranging our West Coast trip, but here are some upcoming CA dates to let you know about.

Please come out if you're in the area... For maps, go to THE COBALT SEASON website.

Feb 4th - San Diego, CA - Evan/Kimble Abode
Feb 11th - Mission Viejo, CA - South County United
Feb 14th - Los Angeles, CA - Lava Lounge
Feb 16th - Riverside, CA - O'Farrell Abode

Feb 23rd - Mountain View, CA - Red Rock Coffee
Feb 24th - Oakland, CA - Mama Buzz Café
Feb 25th - San Francisco, CA - House Show TBD
Feb 27th - San Francisco, CA - Brainwash Café

March 2nd - Humboldt, CA - Six Rivers Brewery
March 4th - Chico, CA - Café Flo

Track 4: The Bottom Line

DOWNLOAD MP3

NOTES:

This song was originally called A Short Essay on the US Armed Forces, the American Corporation, and the American Church, but that seemed too long and contrived.

Here it stands, The Bottom Line.

LYRICS:

Little guns
Little kisses
Kiss them all goodbye
Hope they'll miss us

Wasted thoughts
More ammunition
The machine will have it's way
Despite our wishin'


Go back downtown
Grey stone and mortar
Cold calls to the poor
"Will you sell your daughter?"

Name your price
Get bottom dollar
Suburban afterlife
A lamb to slaughter


Too many times
No matter how high we fly
It goes around around around around
You will see
It's who you wanted to be
You think that you'll be free
But it goes around around around around around


An empty hall
A stained-glass alter
If you don't pull us out
We might falter

God need your goods
God need your money
To help us pay the rent
And keep it sunny
'Cause we keep it sunny


Too many times
No matter how high we climb
It goes around around around around
You will see
It's who you wanted to be
You think that you'll be free
But it goes around around around around around


Oh and you will see
It's not what you want to be
You though that you'd be free
But it just goes around around around around around again

GET THE ALBUM

Yesterday and Last Night

What a day. Went to the Coppola winery. Had 2 complimentary glasses of $100/bottle wine. Mmm.






Then to Casa Burnett for a house show. Incredible to see so many folks...meet some new people and reconnect with old friends.

Oakland, Baby, Yah!

Been spending a good deal of time in Oakland between the Petersen's and the Burnett's (and here.) Wonderful people. A wonderful time. Productive and inspiring. And it's been beautifully clear outside.

And today, lunch with Mr. Toy, a great conversationalist.

Some pics...




...and tomorrow (Friday) night is a house show at Casa Burnett at 7pm. Join us if you can.

And just before that we will go to the Coppola Winery.

Parker Palmer and Me

Parker Palmer will be giving a free lecture in San Rafael. If you're around the Bay this Sunday, you might consider connecting with some of us who are planning to go hear him speak.

The Role I Play

I have been asking several people along the trip what they think the role of people of privilege is. I ask it, knowing that the term privilege is subjective and perhaps telling of the actual systemic perception of a off-balance, arrogant culture. Still, the question has been one that I have asked several people.

And it's led to some interesting conversation...most of the time frustrating my simple mind, shaking me from my simplistic understandings of the world and its systems.

I hear a guy say, "I aim to make as much money as I can so that I can help give it away to people." I stare at him and wonder if he's serious. And perhaps he is. And perhaps he's goodhearted about it. But I can't help but think people who gather riches are inclined to protect them. Perhaps I am him in more than a few ways. "What good is a poor man to the poor? The Gospel is good news to the poor." I wasn't quite sure what he meant, but he seemed convinced.

I heard a friend say that we as white people in America are not necessarily people of privilege. That perhaps, as some conservatives have suggested in converesations past, the scales are tipped not in our favor. Perhaps the liberals have slighted the common white man.

Is there a marginalized people? I think so. Do I think the poor should be bumped up to middle class, enjoying the things all normal American folks enjoy?

I hope that's not the point. I think the masses could learn something from the working poor...that you don't need everything you want.

But where am I in all this? I am among the richest by the world's standards. Ought I pull a Sidhartha and leave it all? Isn't that what Jesus essentially did? And perhaps what he commanded some folks to do?

Is it a command to all of us? It was for Sidhartha's early disciples.

Or perhaps my question of privilege doesn't have so much to do with money as it has to do with power.

What is the role of a person of power, I could ask. In our globalised world, do I make bigger decisions in the fate of the world than my Thai friends who are fine to live day to day, concerned with their families and country.

Is it American to be concerned with the fate of the rest of the world? A western thing? A Christian thing? A rich, white thing?

Or is it best to avoid money and power at all cost? To go away from the power centers?

My friend Hugh says, "Change yourself and you change the world." He might just be right...or is there more?

Track 3: Dream

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NOTES:

This is the one pure love song on the album...for my beloved. To be able to travel this journey with the one I love has made all the difference, weighted all the decisions, upped the ante.

Every year is a bit of a cycle for us. In Winter we seem to lay dormant, and Spring provides new growth and life. Summer sits slowly sometimes. It seems that the advent of our year is October, in early Autumn, when the leaves are a changin' and our lives follow suit.

Looking back over the last several years, each fall has been a time of transition into the next 'thing' for us, whatever that may be. Large life changes have seemed to hover around the Summer/Fall break.

LYRICS:

The cynicism falls from my eyes
As I lie here with you, my love
And this beauty surrounds me
Your beauty surrounds me
Your beauty confounds me
So I drink it all in

Seems it's that time of year again
When dark clouds give way
To brighter passages
And this feeling I notice
This feeling I know it's
The one that I've waited for
All my life, I've waited for you

Now you're here with me
Would you pinch my skin
If this is just a dream
Don't wake me up

All those who came before me
And those who were before you
They all are behind us and memory reminds us
Why we are who we are
Who we are
Love, who we are

Everything within
Leads my heart to you
Words cannot begin
To show you

GET THE ALBUM

Welcome Mr. Samuel Hoff

This afternoon, at...



...my wife and her parents jumped for joy...



...because this little fella was born...



Sammy Hoff, my nephew.

Mark's Story of the Sharps

Señor Scandrette recounts our week with them here. As we left their place this morning to head to what has become our local coffee house, we saw that the Scandrette's rear car window has been smashed to bits and their stereo was gone. That's no good.

But aside from that incident, it was a good week in the enchanted town of San Francisco.

Why Canada Might Be A Good Fit...

Check it out. Thanks to Bob for the link.

Remember 3 Things

On New Year's Eve (my beloved's birthday), I sat at the corner of a table with my sister and my wife, drinking Fat Tire from the tap. Man that beer is so much better from the tap!

We attempted conversation amidst the crowded sonic space. Irish bars are notorious for that I guess. Still, we tried out a liturgy together that Holly and I did last year: Write 3 words that defined 2005 for you and write 3 words that you hope to define 2006 for you.

I remember last years experiment with this, sitting in Heath and Rhianon's living room, squeezed into their new couch set. Friends shared their 3 2004-words and their 3 2005-words. I only vaguely recollect mine...

My words for how I hope 2006 to be are... centered (which I think is a repeat of last year), reconciled, and actualized. I hope all 3 of those define this year.

CENTERED - I tend to operate things in a sort of chaotic, external sort of way sometimes, with the inner-life being neglected. I want to operate out of a very deep core...a developed sense of self and clarity in my vocation.

RECONCILED - 2005 has made me all the more aware of my own need for reconciliation to myself, my past, my family and friends. Most of you have shared in conversations about this very thing. If I want shalom to come into the world, let it begin with reconciliation in my own world.

ACTUALIZED - I an an idea-consumer, deriving energy from concepts and ideals. This year, I hope to place these ideas in real, living contexts. I want my life to be an ongoing experiment with truth, actualizing the things deep within me, discontent to just sit and talk about things.

I aim to remember these 3 things this year. Yes, I do.

Oh San Francisco

Holly and I are in San Francisco this week. Walked the town last night with some friends. Went to MacWorld today.

I had thought January would be a sort of month of processing for us, but it's been hard to flip the 'input' switch to the 'off' position. Some folks have asked us what the difference between our pilgrimage and this month is. I guess I had hoped for some sort of digestion and writing and real processing this month, but perhaps that was a kind of romantic, compartmentalized notion.

Perhaps the pilgrimage doesn't stop when I tell it to...

Track 2: American Empire

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NOTES:

The American Dream operates as a hook for so many folks. It's the idea of having anything you could want or need: security, wealth, nice things, more stuff. Most people that get on that track can't seem to find their way off. I know it's been hard for us to take our name off that list...to secede from the American Dream. But we're trying.

It's allure is hollow and shallow and worthless on some levels. A way of life supported only be the colonialization and oppression of 'weaker' peoples throughout the world. The American way of life is not sustainable.

Perhaps you've wanted to secede as well? To get off-track? Take heart. There's a whole group of us trying to do that...so know that you're not alone. Not alone...

LYRICS:

Well you take me out and you drag me around
But I'd do anything 'cause all I've found in you
In you
You broke my heart with my soul laid bare
But you didn't know, didn't care, now did ya?
Even care?

Still I followed you
'Cause you promised me
More than I ever really wanted

Well damn this American Empire
We all overpaid to be sure I know it
But even still
All these needs and wants and toys and taunts
They follow me everywhere
Everywhere

But still I followed you
'Cause you promised me
More than I ever really wanted and now

I wanna get my money back
I wanna get my life off-track
I wanna find my one true friend
If I could just begin again
I want to find my way back home
I want to find I'm not alone
And I'm not alone
Not alone...

Well the money's in the plate and your life's in my hands
And you wonder if I'd even understand your situation
In this great nation
Where the sick heal the sick and us blind lead the blind
Maybe together we can find what we're looking for
What was it we were looking for?

So don't follow me
'Cause I'd promise you
Nothing more than what you need and

You'd wanna get your money back
You'd wanna get your life off-track
You'd wanna find your one true friend
If you could just begin again
You'd wanna find your way back home
You'd wanna find you're not alone
Friend, you're not alone
Not alone...

Here's hopin' I find my way back to you
Here's hopin' that one day I'll follow through
Here's hopin' they read me between the lines
Until then I'm fine, I'm fine, we're all fine

So we don't get our money back
Let's get our lives off this track
Maybe you're my one true friend
Here we go, let's begin again
Maybe we'll find our way back home
Now that we know we're not alone
Not alone...

GET THE ALBUM

Podcastic!

Here is an interview with me and CraigBob in which we discuss a great many things that the album touches on...faith, love, politics, life, economics, relationships...and Holly and I do a couple live performances of some of the songs...

Craig is a good friend and if you do not already know about his podcast, it will be worth your time to catch up on the last 24 episodes.

Enjoy!

Chris on Pacifism

Chris shares some great thoughts on pacifism here.

Oscar Romero: You do not pray anymore.
Revolutionary Guerrilla: Of course, I still pray Father.
Oscar Romero: Then why do you carry a gun?"

Continued Journey

We left Santa Cruz a couple days ago to head to Oakland and San Francisco, where we'll be for the next several weeks. Traveling (even short distances) instantly energizes us sometimes. Strange.

There is a faint stinky smell in our car that we hope to get rid of. Geez.

If you're a Bay-Area-n and you're around Jan 20th, make plans to hook up with some of us in Oakland for a house show. Just email me for directions. It's gonna be at the Burnett's home. Should be a spectacular time of conversation and song. We hope to record this concert as the first of 4 or 5 shows that will comprise the new live album that we hope to have done in March or April. Be on the look out!

Not much else. Work. Sleep. Conversation. Reading.

Jack Up Your Perspective in '06

Some books to read...
The Checkbook and the Cruise Missile
Collapse
A People's History of the United States
Colossians Remixed: Subverting the Empire
The Politics of Jesus

Some articles to read...
Peace Corps and NGOs
NGOs: Enemies of Allies?
Climate Options
War

Some movies to see...
Syriana
The Corporation

Anyone have any other suggestions for having your mind/heart blown open? Resources to help see how we are all complicit in what is going on in the world...either by blindly supporting it or by saying that we have nothing to do with it? Feel free to respond.

Track 1: Like Jesus

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NOTES:

This is probably the most honest song I've written to date. It is a vulnerable confession of how hard it is for me to live generously and lovingly. I find myself strung between hope and despair all too often, wondering how to do the most good with my life.

These words also stem from a feeling of failure from various attempts in life...and then coming to grips with those things and helping redeeming them without being cliché.

Sometimes tackling unhealth (socially, spiritually, physically, politically, ecologically, etc.) is so hard that it feels like no matter what you do, it will make no difference. It's maddening how easy it is to wade between beautiful pure idealism and thick base consumerism. Damn.

But alas, there is a hope for the cycles of history. If only our collective memory would incarnate goodness and honesty and generosity and, above all, Love. I think it begins by admitting that we are the problem as much as we are the solution.

LYRICS:

Well yesterday seems so far from me now
Gotta close my eyes to see
I swear to God it seems I've been here before
Why'm I back again?

It seems out of fashion to be right
So I guess that I'll be wrong
And wear it like a badge across my chest
Let it bleed from my arm


When everything's for granted
Nothing is for sure
Let's take the Metro south of here
Search for something more
And all that was forgotten
Seems to crawl back into my head
And I'm wonderin' what's ahead


Well Mom, I only wanted to be like Jesus
But it seems that I keep fucking up
And Dad, don't write me off just yet
I think I might be onto something here

And friends, Romans, countrymen
Won't you lend me your ears
This Holy American Empire
Gotta tell you it's crumblin' down
To the ground

'cause everything's for granted
And nothing is for sure
So let's grab a Starbucks baby
And just spend a little more
Forget about the dreams we had
Just work and sleep until we're dead
Are we blind to what's ahead

When memory's for granted
Nothing is for sure
And history goes round and round
As we long for something more
We lie and wait for better days
With hope and fear and joy and dread
Or sheer ambivalance to what's ahead

GET THE ALBUM

Album Notes

We have sold and given away about 350 of the new albums (The Cobalt Season - But I Tell You). Sweet. I have recouped costs (relatively speaking), so I thought I would post the songs individually on the blog with some notes so you can download them for free. I'll do a song per week, in the order of the album track list.

For those who have purchased the CD–either at concerts or on the web–thank you, thank you, thank you. Wow. Your support has helped to make this possible for me to now share these songs with others. Thank you.

The album will remain for sale on the web and at concerts in the case that you don't want to wait 11 weeks for all the tracks or in the case that you just want to support me, the artist. :)

Either way, enjoy! And Happy New Year!