Monday, May 05, 2008

Life As Experiment

I have been reflecting alot these last few weeks. Lots on my mind. Lots is always on my mind.

But I have been evaluating our approach to life...that is, Holly's and my approach.

We have probably done more than most folks will do in their entire lives...

We have traveled extensively across the US and Europe and parts of Asia. I have sat on the board of 2 non-profits. We have toured with 2 bands nationally and internationally. We have helped to launch 3 communities. We have lived in the woods, in the city, on the beach, and in the 'burbs. We have spent more time together as a married couple than most couples will spend together in their entire lives. We have started a corporation and run it while co-parenting our child.

And in all of these situations, we have (at one time or another) given ourselves completely and been burned and burned out. And I guess that is one challenge of living one's life as an experiment...sometimes the outcome is simply limitations, failure, and disappointment. And we are to tell ourselves that this is as valuable as opportunities, success, and happiness. But sometimes it's hard to convince me sometimes.

Limitation is a difficult thing to realize about one's self. But in pushing into anything, you will eventually discover it's limits. One's life might not be all that different. And it's important to realize these limitations and live with them in mind. Sometimes that feels like selling out or being lazy...because you don't push yourself as hard with particular things as you once did. But what are we to do? Act as though we have limitless potential in all things, in all places, in all relationships? It's simply insincere to do so.

Still, to live life as an experiment brings about much beauty and direction...at least as much as it provides disappoint and dead-ends. And so we live open-handed, open-eyed, in that liminal space called Reality. Or at least we try to.

2 comments:

johnohara said...

Yes. Good thoughts. Never settle, but don't try to manufacture the experiment either. Father loves your being, not your doing.

Kirsty said...

You guys are amazing! I don't think I've seen anyone live so intentionally and care about so many different people and things, even with the limitations you face.

It has been inspiring to be around you both!


Kirsty