So this morning I went for a jog. For those of you who know me well, you know that is very out-of-rhythm for me. I don't really like jogging/running beyond walking or hiking (and I do love hiking). But this morning I figured I would try an experiment. It was to insert or even exchange one habit for another, jogging instead of sitting in my daily morning routine.
I feel sick to my stomach right now as I write. I think in my zealous-ness, I overachieved and now feel sick. I am coughing up a storm... hang on...
Okay, back. So one of my comments about this past year (and perhaps most of my life) is that I live very un-centered, having convictions, but living by some other script which is really just a response to whatever my circumstances are. You follow me?
So a goal for this year was to live more centered. I can think of other friends who articulated the same desire. But as I was jogging this morning, pondering how I was beginning to feel more centered in my life, I realized something: I have been centered all along. I think our habits and our lives tell us what we are centered by. Kind of the whole 'faith without works is dead.'
What I mean is that I have been centered by a frame of mind that says, "Respond to whatever comes your way. Do as much as you can (even while saying, 'Live Simply, Ryan')." "Identity is found in what you do." "Life is short." Etcetera, whatever... I guess all I really mean...
So, it is exchanging one center for another, and constantly doing this in pursuit of having a mind/spirit like Christ. It is a journey towards wholeness and true-centered-ness.
And that is what is great about the Lenten season: It's a chance to change your rhythm, to re-center, to re-calibrate. I am still trying to figure out what it is I am going to let go of this season... and it might be good to look for something to put in its place that will be healthier, you know?
Alright, I gotta get. Holly's tellin' me to go to Mass this morning before school. Ciao.