thanks to...

amy robinson, for helping me to see that sting's line of 'you could say i lost my belief in the holy church' is not a slam on god or jesus, but a dissillusionment with the religion of man... i got hung up in language...

tony campolo, for helping to recover the beatitudes from 'nice over-spiritualized thoughts' to virtues of the kingdom of god now... blessed are the peacemakers, the meek, those who hunger and thirst for god... now i must live this...

my mom, for helping to curb my self-righteousness when i yelled at her for 'taking gods name in vein' when i was a high school zealot... i was young...

my grandma buchanan, for teaching me that it's typically 'good' things, not 'bad' things, that keep us from the 'best' things...

mike devries, for helping me to see that heaven is coming to earth... not vice-versa... now if only i can live this way...

u2, for giving imagination to the kingdom of god in the glorious song 'where the streets have no name'... i want to run...

mark scandrette and doug pagitt, for giving me words like 'wholistic', 'rhythm of life', 'sustainable', 'kingdom'... words that shape my reality... beyond the deconstruction to beautiful construction and living...

bart campolo, for helping me begin the process of rethinking what the word 'saved' actually meant in the hebrew mind... far be it from me to help people just 'secure spots in heaven'...

which leads me to brian mclaren, where to even begin?... a new kind of christian literally changed holly's and my life... wow... the tears streamed down our face as we read this together on a drive to the pacific northwest last fall... thank you for your constant inspiration...

chara cote, for reminding me that republicans actually have a lot of values that i value... like allowing the church to take care of things that might be handed over to the government...

jim wallis, for a brilliant analysis of rumsfeld's and bush's crusade/empire language... did you know that bush actually called this war a 'crusade' in one of his earlier speeches?... spooky...

ian nickus, for helping me to realize that worship music is a genre and that a songwriter in any genre should still compose good music with thought-through lyrics...

there are more... perhaps this will be a posting i do from time to time... thank you all...

muse pics... and michael's santa fe pics...

what an amazing show...

holly was talking with a couple who had driven from boulder, co to alburquerque to see these guys... and they were saying that just weeks ago they had played for like a sold-out 20,000 person show... and here they are in a humble old theatre with 250 kids who like 'time is running out'...

for us, it was amazing... lights, sound, performance... brilliant...








and the joint we ate at before we rocked out...



thanks michael for the pics...

and here is a link to his photo gallery from santa fe...

a day in the life...

well, today i was made even more aware of how i am no longer really cut-out for the evangelical community... not to bag it, but i just dont really belong... which, of course, i have known for some time, but today was an epiphane of sorts...

today i resigned from the church i had been working at as a part-time job... this sort of corporate mega-church that a friend of mine works at... he was my link there... anyways, it was a kind of a forced-resignation, kind of a chosen-resignation... i didnt fit the job description i had drawn up for myself... which was really more a bit of self-realization...

so this means more time devoted to sharpseven and lonestar studio... and perhaps more time devoted to reading books such as understanding genesis and 9/11 commission report... and perhaps school and stuff...

okay, i cannot concentrate because lisa and holly are watching that damned gilmore girls in the background!... how do they live with themselves?!?...

in closing...

Hello, Hello (Hola!)
I'm at a place called vertigo (¿Dónde está?)
It's everything I wish I didn't know
Except you give me something I can feel

reflections on the emergent gathering... and some pics...

what an incredible few days... and it was only a few days... but it was refreshing to me...

i experienced shalom on several levels...

i wonder if shalom isn't that different from nirvana?... that is, shalom isn't just 'peace' as many have translated... it's more like 'wholeness' or 'wholistic health' which is kinda redundant since 'health' comes from the root of 'whole'... anyways...

a couple things i heard this week... and though i am using quotation marks, these are not exact...

"beer is proof that god wants us to be happy - ben franklin" - on someone's tshirt...

"neither presidential candidates are pro-life" - a conversation about pro-abortion and pro-war sentiments...

"christians in the middle east refer to god as allah... that kinda sums it up for me." - a conversation about islam and christianity...

"turn the other cheek? that's oversimplified" - a conversation about what america shoulda/coulda done about 9/11...

"i blogged about 3 reasons that george w. bush is not a biblical represenation of christian leadership and got flamed" - talking about using blogs as places to speak our minds...

and some pics...


here is a shot of one of our many conversations... one of the many, many conversations...


michael making notes of how to rule the world through non-pragmatic metaphysics...


a little yoga?... salutations to the sun... ahh...


dinner in santa fe at a cool little wholistic hippie joint... think being john malcovich... with troy and kelly...


and the scandrettes...


a rad document i read whilst coming from the bathroom... can you read it?... dated 1680... read it here larger...


some 2/3 lb. burgers on the way to the muse show (wow... pics later)...


our final day at glorietta... beautiful yellow all around us...


and troy, the diligent songwriter... ever so moving...


and damien sharing some written words...


then to ojo caliente hot springs... amazing... and a little campfire too...


dinner at a little mexican food place down the street...


and then the journey home with an amazing sunset...


holly, jen, damien, and i went to the white rock lookout... new mexico is truly magical...


one last go at the two-buck-chuck... or was this the white wine?...

favorite searches...

so, a couple searches in google-land have led people to my blog... some who were looking for me... some who were looking for something very different... or not so different?...

here are my favorite searches that led people here...

mp3 download scepticism lecture
china empire "enslaves people"
derrida+c.rajendran 
"france selling arms to iraq"  
NPR RNC mailings bible 
president bush's idealogy
Enflamed Tastebuds of Tongue

my favorite was china empire "enslaves people"... now it is Enflamed Tastebuds of Tongue... i hope they all found what they were looking for...

a year ago this week...

last year around this time, holly and i were returning from new mexico from our first emergent gathering... it was a time of meeting new friends, spiritual and physical (is that dualist?... let's say 'wholistic') renewal, and beautiful surroundings...

as we came back into california, the grand prix fire had already begun... in fact, we drove on I-15 through the fire on our way home... and that week, the fires continued to unleash their rage, clearing out much of north east county, southeast county, camp pendleton, temecula... pretty much all of san diego county but here and much of san bernadino county as well...

we all sat in front of our tvs as ash blew around outside, hoping and praying that these fires would die down, that nature would rain for us, or that something - please god, something - would happen... finally, after a week or so, the rain came... and it assisted the firefighters in their efforts to not only contain, but squelch the fires...

around this time, my sister was going through some rough life stuff... and it amazed me about the parallels we find in nature...

sometimes the flames are so out of control, all you can hope to do is to just perhaps contain them from spreading elsewhere... but you get so tired... and you despair... and sometimes you give up... and sometimes you fight on... but just as nature sent her healing rain when it seemed the worst moment, so life (or god) offers us some relief... when does it come?... sometimes a bit too late, sometimes a little early, seldom when we think we need the relief...

anyways, last year i wrote this song from the tailgate of my pickup as the blood-red sky showered ash and rain down on me... it's called october... here is an mp3 of it...

october
by ryan lee sharp

wake up again, the gentle leaves are falling
wake up again, the wind has blown me through
another night of impatient waiting for you

and i've heard those who seek, that they will find it
well i'm seeking you
longing for your eyes, your perception of all she's running through
and how it's all in you

cause i try so hard
and i fall so far
and oh this life can be so hard
to see it how you do, but i want to see it how you do

sometimes so stuck, staring off into the valley
sometimes i run, sometimes i cannot move
but these moments are to shake us, but leave us unshaken
holding tight to you
what else is she to do

cause i try so hard
and i fall so far
and oh this life can be so hard
to see it how you do, but i want to see it how you do

and though we are hard-pressed, we are not crushed
and when the fire surrounds, you send your healing rain
and though we are hard-pressed, we are not crushed
and when the fire consumes, you send your healing rain

cause i try so hard
and i fall so far
and oh this life can be so hard
to see it how you do, but i want to see it how you do

the christian flag surrendered to the american flag...

i just thought this was a telling (and humorous) photo...

a note from sojourners...

thought id post it instead of emailing this to people...

1. Don't just protest - be pro-active! Join an effort to
mobilize voters as part of the "Vote ALL Your Values" campaign,
a nonpartisan coalition of progressive-to-moderate faith-based
groups (including Sojourners) who are calling America to vote on
a broader range of values. How can you make a difference? Make
brief phone calls to encourage low-income, minority, and young
citizens to get out and vote. It's simple, quick, and enormously
effective.

Go to: http://go.sojo.net/ct/t7zPK-11sQVd/voteALLyourvalues

2. Stop dirty tricks by Republican activists! Organizations
funded by the Republican National Committee have been caught
pulling illegal
dirty tricks, signing up voters but destroying registration
forms filled out by Democrats in Nevada. Because of the illegal
activities of this company, many voters who go to the polls on
November 2 will be turned away at the door.

These dirty tricks are not limited to Nevada. The right to vote
is under attack nationwide - especially for minorities.
Error-prone purges of ex-felon lists continue to
disproportionately affect black voters in Florida, where other
tactics - including sending armed officers to the homes of those
filing absentee ballots - have further intimidated minority and
immigrant voters.

Take Action! Demand that President Bush renounce these tactics
and order his presidential campaign and the RNC to sever all
ties with those responsible and to cooperate fully with all
legal authorities to punish them for sullying our democracy.

Click here to take action: http://go.sojo.net/campaign/dirty_tricks/585wbn4rjin6kw

3. Keep the pressure on! As we reported a few weeks ago, the RNC
also sent mailings to Christians in West Virginia and Arkansas
claiming that "liberals" would ban the Bible. If you haven't yet
signed our alert urging the RNC to renounce this crass
exploitation of religion, do so now!

Take action at: http://go.sojo.net/campaign/biblegate/585wbn4rjin6kw

the many coats we wear...

in flagstaff starbucks, thanks jasen... a thought i have had running...

we all wear many coats... exchange one for another from time to time... often they are the coats of others... sometimes they fit perfectly and sometimes we outgrow them and sometimes they were never 'us' anyways...

let me explain...

when i was younger, i wore my dad's coat... you know?... it always had his warmth in it... i knew that if he approved of the style and fit of the coat, then of course it would be good for me, right?... so i mimicked him to the t, buttoning the same buttons as he had (all of them but the top button, right, cause it can be cold out there and thats what his father had done)...

when i hit my adolescence, things began to change... the warmth of my fathers coat was fading as i saw my father less and less (its more complicated than that)... i saw the coats of all the kids living around my neighborhood and wanted to try theirs on... especially the 'bad kids' coats... and they were wild... amazing colors... some even had obscenities written on them... wow!... kids can have obscenities on their coats?... you betcha... so i put on brian belew's coat... it kinda smelled of alchohol and hate and anger, but hey, what the hell?... it wasnt warm like my fathers... it was very thin, very smelly, very torn... it wasnt a very good coat at all, you know?... but it fit me for that time... or at least i thought it did...

in high school, i was very fortunate to have a new friend move from cold chicago to hot dallas to be my new youth pastor... he had a very off-beat colored jacket he always wore... it said things like, 'jesus loves you' on it or 'help us share the love of christ in honduras' and stuff like that... it was a coat that had patchwork done all over it... and a big ole cross on the back... there was even a pocket for a bible in it!... wow... what an amazing jacket for me... i wore it with pride... i even let my bible hang out of my pocket just so people could see what was there... i wore buttons on it that said, 'salvation free, inquire within' and other things of that nature...

in college, i exchanged all my previous jackets for many more... a coat of a christian rock singer, todd proctor... a coat of a preppy jcrew college student dating the drama queen, the philosopher's jacket (which had a mild odor of cigar smoke?...), the teacher's pet coat, even the coat of my roommate, stephen parker... his was an old navy windbreaker which had old 'young republican' button on it... it also was worn a bit... it was very familiar to me... very familiar...

after college and after the rock star student leather coat no longer fit, i tried on some different coats: admired pastors' suitcoats and overcoats, liberation theology coats (very tattered, but that was better than a new one), deconstructionist coats... the coats of each and every speaker at anything 'emergent'... right?... some fit, some were obviously not for me... some stretched with me as i grew and still fit... wow... never had that happen before...

i also tried on (might i say for the first time) the jacket of a liberal democrat... now, i had only seen 'bad people' wear this coat all throughout my life... or thats how they were referred anyway... but as i tried the coat on, i realized it was an exciting jacket that helped push people to make decisions for themselves... but apparently, it was a very expensive jacket... to keep it, you had to pay these taxes or something?... not sure about that...

i continue to try on jackets to see what fits... and i think i keep small parts of certain coats and try to patch them into other coats... you know until i can have one 'all my own'... no, i dont think that will ever happen... we all continue to wear other's coats...

whose do you wear?... who do you mimick?... emulate?... allow to think for you?... i know i have some people and other kinds of coats like that... do you?....

we are off...

so holly and i am off to new mexico for the emergent gathering... it will be a refreshing and inspiring time methinks...

i will be leading/facilitating a couple of the discussions this year:

- failed church planters [read very tongue in cheek] - we will discuss re-evaluating what success looks like, re-examine the role of a pastor/shepherd vs. teacher/mentor, and challenge modern understandings just for the hell of it!...

- merton's inter-religious dialogue - while reading merton's mystics and zen masters i have come up with many questions about god's involvement in the origin of other traditions other than the hebrew tradition (which feeds judaism, christianity, and islam)... we will possibly look at some clips from 'hero' and consider where god may be at work where we have least expected him...

so, we are camping on the way out and on the way back...

oh, and this is big: we will be catching a muse show while we are out there... they are playing in albuquerque on wednesday... wow...

perhaps i will be on blogging hiatus... perhaps no... we shall see...

wow... john stewart goes to town...

worth your time...

who are these christians that support this war?... or at least this understanding of it?...

i was reading a quote from ann coulter, author of How to Talk to a Liberal (If You Must)... open it up and...

"This is a religious war, not against Islam but for Christianity, for a Christian nation," Coulter said. "When this nation was founded, there was nothing like it. Our founders said there is a God and we are all equal before God. The ideal of equality and tolerance is like nothing that has ever existed in the world before. That, too, is a Christian value. The concept of equality, especially when it comes to gender equality, was not invented by Gloria Steinem -- it was invented by Jesus Christ. As long as people look long enough, they will always come to Christianity."

check out this next quote...

"We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity. We weren't punctilious about locating and punishing only Hitler and his top officers. We carpet-bombed German cities; we killed civilians. That's war. And this is war."

the above was is a quote from this here and here... and here is more...

can you see the irony here?... that christianity has ideals of tolerance and equality, but we cannot tolerate or put on a equal playing field those who do not share our ideals!... how messed up is that!...

it's a way of short-circuiting things that is so western... we think that every thing should happen quickly and with force... empire-building... many people view christianity the same way... empire-building that is... but it ends up not as god's empire, but an individual's empire... here is an old post of mine on the inefficiency of god...

i mean how can this be spoken of a person (jesus) who said to turn the other cheek, to consider yourself blessed when you are persecuted, to walk the extra mile?... how can people reconcile war to the teachings and life of christ?...

anyways, hasn't the usa spent a great deal of effort in these last decades encouraging peace and anti-retaliation to other nations (such as israel)?... what makes the usa great is our ability to inspire other countries by our way of life... and sometimes its not all that inspiring... and that is to be expected... but 'standing up democracies' as cheney says, is no way of implementing goodness throughout the rest of the world...

jesus was very clear when he spoke to peter who was taking action against the roman guard, saying that the kingdom of god will not be advanced by force, particularly political force!...

i have heard christians speak of this war being a continuation of the wars of the old testament, tearing down 'false gods' and implementing the rule of god... absurdity!... first, the us is not israel... second, while i don't completely understand the genocidal nature of the hebrew crusades, i feel that jesus was quite clear in his teachings against war... or am i off-base here?...

i am tired of being represented by a conservative majority of christians who support such statements as above... i am so grieved by such statements...

wait a minute, am i being intolerant of intolerant people who claim to be promoting this virture of tolerance by take-over?...

favorite parts of last night's debates...

perhaps the religious language was used to manipulate, but i choose not to believe that... i want to believe that these men do operate of some form of faith... my favorite quotes were from senator kerry...



And as President Kennedy said when he ran for president, he said, "I'm not running to be a Catholic president. I'm running to be a president who happens to be Catholic."

My faith affects everything that I do, in truth. There's a great passage of the Bible that says, "What does it mean, my brother, to say you have faith if there are no deeds? Faith without works is dead."

And I think that everything you do in public life has to be guided by your faith, affected by your faith, but without transferring it in any official way to other people.

That's why I fight against poverty. That's why I fight to clean up the environment and protect this earth.

That's why I fight for equality and justice. All of those things come out of that fundamental teaching and belief of faith.

But I know this, that President Kennedy in his inaugural address told all of us that here on Earth, God's work must truly be our own. And that's what we have to -- I think that's the test of public service.

...

I was taught -- I went to a church school and I was taught that the two greatest commandments are: Love the Lord, your God, with all your mind, your body and your soul, and love your neighbor as yourself. And frankly, I think we have a lot more loving of our neighbor to do in this country and on this planet.

i too think that i (and we) have far to go as far as expanding god's kingdom by way of loving our neighbor... what happens when the church fails to love her neighbor and extends this to her view on foreign policy (like declaring war on other nations that we fear could hurt us)?... what if god's patience with the church runs out?... what if he is working expanding his kingdom in ways other than the church (of course he is...) doug has an interesting post that inspired a couple of these thoughts...

views on hell with mclaren and company...

'a generous orthodoxy' is such a wonderful book... buy it here please and read it cover to cover...

while you wait, get in on the conversation or just read... chapter four struck a chord with issues of hell and the church's misuse of 'scaring the hell out of people'... is hell a place or an inability to love?...

this guys post is great... great ideas... cs lewis' book 'the great divorce' is an interesting fictional essay on hell... even his narnia books hint at the idea of all things done in love, all lives lived in love being 'of God'...

what really bothers me...

first, the piece of food/spit on the corner of bush's mouth...

second, that there are actually pastors out there saying what was said tonight, 'it is a sin to vote for a man who believes in a woman's right to choose'...

both are making me sick, but kerry's thoughts on faith and life were nothing short of brilliant and i share his view...

sojo newsletter...

another great article in the sojo newsletter... sign up to support or get this newsletter brought to you by jim wallis and folks... as always, i do not necessarily endorse all being said, but it is some interesting stuff... even if it's from a conservative republican!...

U.S. interests vs. global interests
by David Batstone

Clyde Prestowitz is deeply troubled by the foreign relations of the United States. He fears that we are becoming a "rogue nation" that violates international agreements and alliances with scant consideration for the long-term consequences. In short, the U.S. is making the world a more dangerous place, says Prestowitz.

I found his message so compelling that I tracked down a filmed interview with Prestowitz. We offer our SojoMail readers a short cut for your viewing (find the link at the end of the column).

Prestowitz's voice is all the more intriguing given his pedigree. Once a senior counselor to the secretary of commerce in the Reagan administration, Prestowitz is a self-identified "super-patriotic," "conservative," and life-long Republican. He held senior executive posts in major international corporations and wrote an influential book on trade relations between the U.S. and Japan. He currently is president of the Economic Strategy Institute.

Prestowitz is also a born-again Christian and serves as an elder at his evangelical Presbyterian church. He does not turn his deep faith into a divine blessing of partisan politics, however. "Politicians who use God as a prop for their campaigns should remember that God is not mocked," Prestowitz wrote in his book, Rogue Nation. Yet Prestowitz unabashedly says it is his faith in Jesus that informs the way he interprets the world, and the values that guide his actions.

Moral vision. That's what I found missing in the first two presidential debates. Based on the debates, one could not be blamed for thinking that the U.S. and Iraq were the only two nations in the world that mattered (and the latter due only to its tragic bond with the former). Undoubtedly, a debate on foreign policy should include Iraq - how the U.S. military got in there and how it will get out, what sovereignty in Iraq would mean, and whether the U.S. will go it alone in solving the problem or find a significant group of allies (beyond the U.K.) to "win the peace."

But let's put Iraq in proper perspective. Over two debates, I did not hear one question address the Israeli-Palestinian issue. Do we really think that peace will come to the Middle East without resolving that issue? On that note, what has the Bush administration done over the past four years to move a political solution to the West Bank closer to reality? I reckon the policy has been stone-walled...literally.

I heard one question over two debates on Sudan and the genocide taking place there - and the responses of both candidates were terribly tepid and disappointing. Even less attention was given to AIDS and hunger, which loom slightly more extreme on the global suffering scale than what's happening in Iraq. How the U.S. will relate to the looming global superpower, China, also was completely ignored; only passing reference to China was made in connection to a policy toward North Korea. Europe also barely appeared on the debate map; a single question about Russia took care of that continent. Most of the debate kept coming back to two words: Iraq and terrorism.

But my beef goes beyond geopolitical slights. Prestowitz, I believe, is asking the right questions. He morally rejects the idea of a "first strike" by which the U.S. can attack any country that may be perceived to pose a threat to the security of our nation. In a recent interview, he decries the Bush administration's foreign policy as "the kind of slaying of dragons, messianic foreign adventure that traditional conservatives have always been opposed to." In other words, pre-emptive military strikes are immoral. The Pope says so, as do most leaders of Christian churches around the globe.

How telling that during the first debate, Bush believed that he had caught Kerry out when he used the words "global test" as a means to evaluate appropriate foreign policy. The Kerry camp tried to do "damage control," claiming that its candidate indeed would act unilaterally to advance U.S. economic and political interests.

Prestowitz argues that the U.S. once defined its national interests in terms that the whole world could embrace - strong global institutions, due process, and the rule of law. We now make foreign policy on the narrow terms of what is best for America. We once supported international alliances within the U.N. and NATO - we now deem them irrelevant and dangerous to our national interests. We increasingly act alone, without "testing" the wisdom and value of our policy with anyone. This direction for foreign policy should be the subject of moral debate.

You name the foreign policy topic - trade relations, environment, economic aid, energy, agriculture - and the same moral question arises. Do we act justly in consideration of the needs and goals of other nations, or do we blindly follow "America first?" Prestowitz suggests that our leaders have adopted the latter tack, which betrays his deepest Christian values. I cannot agree more.

See an excerpt of the Prestowitz interview made exclusively for SojoMail:

Windows Media Player (works best with Internet Explorer)

RealPlayer (Works best with Netscape)

QuickTime stream

QuickTime download

how can we express god's love in this election year?...

i think i am not going to respond to my brother's post on his support of president bush or his questions of my support of senator kerry... while i remain (at this time) a supporter of kerry, i don't know if this is as virtuous a conversation (from my end) as i thought it would be... that is, i am beginning to see that i was rallying a political party, not a cause of christ... does this make sense?...

brian has an amazing lecture that is less than 40 minutes that is available here for download... it is the sept 26th sermon called 'faith in an election year'... it says all i could say... that we must figure out how to use our power to support those who need support, not to just seek our personal gain, our party's gain, or even our nation's gain... please watch it... thanks...

my new bumper sticker and where you can get one...

first go to sojo.net and sign up to get yours...

another cool resource is voteallyourvalues.org...

nt wright resources... and some rob bell... oh, and brian...

one of the most thought-out christian theologians in this century has some online resources... [read 'downloadable mp3s']

Future of the People of God talks | open source theology - i loved these... listened to all four talks...

NT Wright Homepage - i haven't yet downloaded, but plan to... thought id pass it on...

also, rob bell has some great online resources...

Mars Hill - a Jesus Community - this is the church's website with most of rob's talks... incredible stuff...

brian mclaren has some great online stuff...

Cedar Ridge: engaging conversation - i love this guy...

okay, enough for tonight...

40 days of fermentation...

so, holly finally owned up to a present she promised me for christmas last year... my own micro-brewing kit... sweet!...



so i am reading and seeing just how long this stuff makes and come to find out... it's gonna take like 40 days to ferment and fully process... that's way longer than i bargained for, but i guess since we paid $30 for the set, i should go for it...

some pics of the first days' process...





and so the journey begins... i hope i don't screw it up... i mean, you can't like die from a yeast mistake or something... can you?...