the many coats we wear...

in flagstaff starbucks, thanks jasen... a thought i have had running...

we all wear many coats... exchange one for another from time to time... often they are the coats of others... sometimes they fit perfectly and sometimes we outgrow them and sometimes they were never 'us' anyways...

let me explain...

when i was younger, i wore my dad's coat... you know?... it always had his warmth in it... i knew that if he approved of the style and fit of the coat, then of course it would be good for me, right?... so i mimicked him to the t, buttoning the same buttons as he had (all of them but the top button, right, cause it can be cold out there and thats what his father had done)...

when i hit my adolescence, things began to change... the warmth of my fathers coat was fading as i saw my father less and less (its more complicated than that)... i saw the coats of all the kids living around my neighborhood and wanted to try theirs on... especially the 'bad kids' coats... and they were wild... amazing colors... some even had obscenities written on them... wow!... kids can have obscenities on their coats?... you betcha... so i put on brian belew's coat... it kinda smelled of alchohol and hate and anger, but hey, what the hell?... it wasnt warm like my fathers... it was very thin, very smelly, very torn... it wasnt a very good coat at all, you know?... but it fit me for that time... or at least i thought it did...

in high school, i was very fortunate to have a new friend move from cold chicago to hot dallas to be my new youth pastor... he had a very off-beat colored jacket he always wore... it said things like, 'jesus loves you' on it or 'help us share the love of christ in honduras' and stuff like that... it was a coat that had patchwork done all over it... and a big ole cross on the back... there was even a pocket for a bible in it!... wow... what an amazing jacket for me... i wore it with pride... i even let my bible hang out of my pocket just so people could see what was there... i wore buttons on it that said, 'salvation free, inquire within' and other things of that nature...

in college, i exchanged all my previous jackets for many more... a coat of a christian rock singer, todd proctor... a coat of a preppy jcrew college student dating the drama queen, the philosopher's jacket (which had a mild odor of cigar smoke?...), the teacher's pet coat, even the coat of my roommate, stephen parker... his was an old navy windbreaker which had old 'young republican' button on it... it also was worn a bit... it was very familiar to me... very familiar...

after college and after the rock star student leather coat no longer fit, i tried on some different coats: admired pastors' suitcoats and overcoats, liberation theology coats (very tattered, but that was better than a new one), deconstructionist coats... the coats of each and every speaker at anything 'emergent'... right?... some fit, some were obviously not for me... some stretched with me as i grew and still fit... wow... never had that happen before...

i also tried on (might i say for the first time) the jacket of a liberal democrat... now, i had only seen 'bad people' wear this coat all throughout my life... or thats how they were referred anyway... but as i tried the coat on, i realized it was an exciting jacket that helped push people to make decisions for themselves... but apparently, it was a very expensive jacket... to keep it, you had to pay these taxes or something?... not sure about that...

i continue to try on jackets to see what fits... and i think i keep small parts of certain coats and try to patch them into other coats... you know until i can have one 'all my own'... no, i dont think that will ever happen... we all continue to wear other's coats...

whose do you wear?... who do you mimick?... emulate?... allow to think for you?... i know i have some people and other kinds of coats like that... do you?....