A Fire Dragon living in The Year of the Dragon.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Monday, September 15, 2008
Sunday, September 14, 2008
The Cyclical, Linear Nature of Things
Can’t stop what’s coming. It ain’t waitin’ on you, that’s vanity.
That's from No Country for Old Men. Lisa and I watched the film for the first time this weekend and found it compelling and enlightening. I mean, wow, What characters! What dialogue!
And this particular line stuck out to both of us. Perhaps because it points at a basic question that we both might have...I know it's a question I have.
Can we do anything?
I have asked the Universe publicly and privately in what way does our path go: linear or circular? Are we to believe that history cycles and some of us simply choose to be salt (and others are without trying), merely preserving the world? Or is history "going somewhere" and is that somewhere more beautiful or more destructive? Or both? Can a possibility even exist?
Changing the World is a notion most of us are familiar with. It's what we're all asked to do these days. And I'm not cynical enough yet to believe that it's all vanity. But perhaps a good deal of it is.
But where it really gets me is understanding myself. Should I expect to "progress" beyond who I am now, moving in a linear fashion? Or will I circulate all my life, with only circumstances change in order to make me feel like each experience is truly unique?
I dunno. But I have a feeling that it's a question that I'll ask most all my life. And I will say that the model of spiral dynamics (that Wilbur points out in A Theory of Everything) certainly does offer a third way that is very compelling, though a tad complex to explain.
Hmm.
That's from No Country for Old Men. Lisa and I watched the film for the first time this weekend and found it compelling and enlightening. I mean, wow, What characters! What dialogue!
And this particular line stuck out to both of us. Perhaps because it points at a basic question that we both might have...I know it's a question I have.
Can we do anything?
I have asked the Universe publicly and privately in what way does our path go: linear or circular? Are we to believe that history cycles and some of us simply choose to be salt (and others are without trying), merely preserving the world? Or is history "going somewhere" and is that somewhere more beautiful or more destructive? Or both? Can a possibility even exist?
Changing the World is a notion most of us are familiar with. It's what we're all asked to do these days. And I'm not cynical enough yet to believe that it's all vanity. But perhaps a good deal of it is.
But where it really gets me is understanding myself. Should I expect to "progress" beyond who I am now, moving in a linear fashion? Or will I circulate all my life, with only circumstances change in order to make me feel like each experience is truly unique?
I dunno. But I have a feeling that it's a question that I'll ask most all my life. And I will say that the model of spiral dynamics (that Wilbur points out in A Theory of Everything) certainly does offer a third way that is very compelling, though a tad complex to explain.
Hmm.
The Fruit Waiting For Us
Our friends the Clarks drove by our new house today. They snapped some shots of the fruit growing in our backyard.Unfortunately, no wine grapes (yet), but Birgitta said these white seedless grapes tasted superb. I think Maddax and Vienna seconded and thirded that opinion.
I'll look forward to tasting them myself in a matter of days.
Looks like there's a good deal of pruning that needs to take place for them to produce good fruit next year. An opportunity to get to know some grapes. Finally. And on my own piece of land.
And walking further back on the property there is apparently a fig tree. Mmm. Mmm. I cannot wait.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
On Moving
I sometimes forget how emotional moving can be. In my world, I generally try to plan pragmatically. I sometimes forget the inefficiency of emotion. I seldom budget for it.
Tonight I am packing stuff up by myself in a house that we're very familiar with. We've been guests here. We've been counseled here. We've cried, laughed, sat around shooting the shit, drank and smoked. Looked out on the Bay, on the fog, at the fireworks. Three house shows in this home.
And that's all before we lived here. Now we've been here for the summer of 2008 and it was magical...one of the best possible ways for us to leave the Bay area.
But I digress. See how inefficient emotions can be!
Moving causes me to remember where I've been, how often I've moved my wife and child and friends and family members. A rolling stone. I think of how I've hurt people with my departures, how I've freed people, how I've confused people.
My sister texts me to see the nearly full Harvest moon. That same moon pulled my son into our world two years ago. My son, born here in this locale, will he always be connected here? To the smell of eucalyptus (my eyes tear up as I remember this smell)? the sounds of Mission activity?
Thing is–and this is probably why I forget the emotions that come with moving–we all end up staying in touch. We live in a different world than our parents were born into. When folks left their families, even just decades ago, it could mean significant distance, but these days, we all move...and we all still see each other.
Are you still with me? I have some more moving to get to, so I should get back to that. Thanks for indulging my nostalgia.
Tonight I am packing stuff up by myself in a house that we're very familiar with. We've been guests here. We've been counseled here. We've cried, laughed, sat around shooting the shit, drank and smoked. Looked out on the Bay, on the fog, at the fireworks. Three house shows in this home.
And that's all before we lived here. Now we've been here for the summer of 2008 and it was magical...one of the best possible ways for us to leave the Bay area.
But I digress. See how inefficient emotions can be!
Moving causes me to remember where I've been, how often I've moved my wife and child and friends and family members. A rolling stone. I think of how I've hurt people with my departures, how I've freed people, how I've confused people.
My sister texts me to see the nearly full Harvest moon. That same moon pulled my son into our world two years ago. My son, born here in this locale, will he always be connected here? To the smell of eucalyptus (my eyes tear up as I remember this smell)? the sounds of Mission activity?
Thing is–and this is probably why I forget the emotions that come with moving–we all end up staying in touch. We live in a different world than our parents were born into. When folks left their families, even just decades ago, it could mean significant distance, but these days, we all move...and we all still see each other.
Are you still with me? I have some more moving to get to, so I should get back to that. Thanks for indulging my nostalgia.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Our New Address
908 SE 35th Ave
Portland, OR 97214
Everything else will stay the same...it's strange to carry 714 and 760 phone numbers around for so long...years upon years! These area codes have crossed states, countries, oceans with us. And I just cannot imagine getting rid of these numbers.
But I am aware of what they represent: detachment from any one locale. It's the lifestyle of the translocal. Everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Sounds zen, but it could just be hypocrisy for someone who talks from time to time about context and connection with a particular area.
But for now, I'm a pragmatist, not a philosopher. At least in this instance. I will keep my 714 number and Holly, her 760. Perhaps someday we'll crossgrade to 503. We'll see.
Portland, OR 97214
Everything else will stay the same...it's strange to carry 714 and 760 phone numbers around for so long...years upon years! These area codes have crossed states, countries, oceans with us. And I just cannot imagine getting rid of these numbers.
But I am aware of what they represent: detachment from any one locale. It's the lifestyle of the translocal. Everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Sounds zen, but it could just be hypocrisy for someone who talks from time to time about context and connection with a particular area.
But for now, I'm a pragmatist, not a philosopher. At least in this instance. I will keep my 714 number and Holly, her 760. Perhaps someday we'll crossgrade to 503. We'll see.
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
Feeling the Fall
There is a melancholy that comes with (or from?) the autumnal shift. It still may technically be weeks away (is it?), but I feel it already. The shortening of the days, the wind, the sound of the leaves. And in my interior, I feel the shift. The turning toward warm foods, coffee in the afternoon (which was unthinkable just a week ago!), and my heart longing for fall-time memories with my son and wife.
I love fall. It is a complicated relationship though. It makes me sad, but from that sadness, I feel life. I reach the limits of production in summer and fall is harvest. Actually, I don't know how true that actually is. Most of production continues on into fall for us. But there's some rest, some inward hibernation that is being plotted.
Today it was clear to me that we're leaving the Bay Area fall to embrace the Portland fall. I do hope we love it. And I hope it loves us.
We closed on our house yesterday and I leave in the big PENSKE next Wednesday...Holly and Pax joining a few days later. A new kind of pilgrimage...a more permanent one.
So strange how life shifts. The seasons...thank God for the seasons.
I love fall. It is a complicated relationship though. It makes me sad, but from that sadness, I feel life. I reach the limits of production in summer and fall is harvest. Actually, I don't know how true that actually is. Most of production continues on into fall for us. But there's some rest, some inward hibernation that is being plotted.
Today it was clear to me that we're leaving the Bay Area fall to embrace the Portland fall. I do hope we love it. And I hope it loves us.
We closed on our house yesterday and I leave in the big PENSKE next Wednesday...Holly and Pax joining a few days later. A new kind of pilgrimage...a more permanent one.
So strange how life shifts. The seasons...thank God for the seasons.
Thursday, September 04, 2008
The Customer Is Always Right
Where the hell did this idea come from anyway? That, my friends, equals the commodification of all things. It is the suspending of one's unique nature to sell, sell, sell.
And it's simply not true.
And it's simply not true.
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
Santa Ana Winds
I cannot believe it's already Sept. And what an Indian Summer it looks to be. That makes me happy. In two weeks, we'll be moving to a tree-rich neighborhood where they will shed their skins and make colors we dream of.
Perhaps someday we'll complain about raking "those damn leaves," but for now the idea seems just dreamy. Just dreamy.
And today's warm winds made me feel content. And I took deep breaths and drank fine with good friends.
Perhaps someday we'll complain about raking "those damn leaves," but for now the idea seems just dreamy. Just dreamy.
And today's warm winds made me feel content. And I took deep breaths and drank fine with good friends.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Rappahannock Independent Film Festival
The Cobalt Season's latest documentary is being featured at this year's festival in Central Virginia. If you or anyone you know is in the area that weekend, please make plans to attend. It should be fun. If we weren't in the middle of moving, I might have made plans to.Located in historic Fredericksburg, Virginia, from September 18 – 21, the Rappahannock Independent Film Festival (RIFF) is an annual event dedicated to promoting excellence in independent filmmaking. Please take part in this year's festival by attending the public screenings. Website is here.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Wisdom from Heroes
One thing that stuck with me from an episode last night.
"You must either choose the path of happiness or the path of meaning. You cannot choose both."
Who knew pop television could be so insightful?
"You must either choose the path of happiness or the path of meaning. You cannot choose both."
Who knew pop television could be so insightful?
Wasting Time
Last night, some friends came over and we watched JUMPER, one of the lamer films I've seen this year. And we followed that with 2 episodes of HEROES, also pretty lame, though I enjoy it.
A year ago, I would have felt guilty about this. I subscribed so much to the idea of hyper-intentionality that it would have been difficult to make room for an evening like this. Or I would have felt bad afterwards for having wasted that time.
But last night, I had fun. We all just chilled. And that was nice. While I still want to "make the most of every opportunity," I need time here and there just to be human and stupid. Like last night. So, I wasted an evening that could have been productive or thought-provoking or really, really relational or missional. But it wasn't. It was just chill.
And I'm becoming okay with that from time to time.
A year ago, I would have felt guilty about this. I subscribed so much to the idea of hyper-intentionality that it would have been difficult to make room for an evening like this. Or I would have felt bad afterwards for having wasted that time.
But last night, I had fun. We all just chilled. And that was nice. While I still want to "make the most of every opportunity," I need time here and there just to be human and stupid. Like last night. So, I wasted an evening that could have been productive or thought-provoking or really, really relational or missional. But it wasn't. It was just chill.
And I'm becoming okay with that from time to time.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Friday, August 15, 2008
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Nice.
It's cool to see SharpSeven in the author line of the book. Perhaps an overstatement, but cool all the same.
Friday, August 01, 2008
Troy Helped Me Articulate It
Thanks man.He said that the path can take switchbacks and/or direct routes. Have you ever climbed a mountain straight up? Taking it on, as it were?
I have. And it's tiring. But it should be tried all the same. Because why not? It's a tad dangerous and you might not do it again, but why should that keep you from trying?
Still, switchbacks make the same route livable...perhaps more enjoyable. True, you won't be described as "hard core" and you won't be able to blog about your time, but in the end, it's all good. That you tried the path at all, that you tried to climb the mountain of goodness and health and virtue is a beautiful thing in and of itself.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Embarrassed?
I recognize that the last 4 posts have had something to do with a product I have purchased (or am considering purchasing). It's a little embarrassing.
I like to manage the perception that people have of me. It's my own pathology. And that type of thing certainly leads to death, I know this.
But it's something I've done forever. I like to be perceived in a particular way. Right now, I'm hoping that you're saying, "Wow. This guy is transparent."
;)
Anyway, the thing is, I'm trying to let that go. I'm trying to get more comfortable in my skin. Yes, I still dream, I still hold ideals, I still think consumption is an awful disease. But I am trying to be a little less black and white about it.
And that's hard. Because I want people to think highly of me. "That Ryan Sharp, he's really living it. He's living simply and really doing it."
But it's not true. I watched 3 episodes of Heroes last night, ate at a chain fast food restaurant a few days ago, drive more than I should, and consume fancy products like the iPhone.
And it's not that I'm just okay with it, but I'm learning that life is a boat, rocking back and forth. And I'm getting more comfortable with that.
So embarrassed? Maybe a little.
I like to manage the perception that people have of me. It's my own pathology. And that type of thing certainly leads to death, I know this.
But it's something I've done forever. I like to be perceived in a particular way. Right now, I'm hoping that you're saying, "Wow. This guy is transparent."
;)
Anyway, the thing is, I'm trying to let that go. I'm trying to get more comfortable in my skin. Yes, I still dream, I still hold ideals, I still think consumption is an awful disease. But I am trying to be a little less black and white about it.
And that's hard. Because I want people to think highly of me. "That Ryan Sharp, he's really living it. He's living simply and really doing it."
But it's not true. I watched 3 episodes of Heroes last night, ate at a chain fast food restaurant a few days ago, drive more than I should, and consume fancy products like the iPhone.
And it's not that I'm just okay with it, but I'm learning that life is a boat, rocking back and forth. And I'm getting more comfortable with that.
So embarrassed? Maybe a little.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Redeemed
We returned the Blackberry and both got 16G iPhones. Very happy with that decision. Also glad to have passed through the hype-time. We were waiting at Apple for less than 15 minutes.But my email hasn't been working consistently. D'oh!
I never thought I'd want one of these things. When the first one was released (even announced!) I wasn't really phased. At that point, I liked having my phone here, my camera there, and my email and internet on my 13" MacBook. But I was caught up in the buzz about the new one. Faster speed, better apps, and I figure it might eventually allow me to let my MacBook go and eventually bump back to an iMac instead.
But right now, with not having email (which is apparently a reported issue), I'm a tad perturbed. That's the one thing that the BlackBerry did wonderfully!
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Blackberried!
BlackBerry Device Software cannot be installed from a Mac OS computer. You must install BlackBerry Device Software from a Microsoft® Windows® computer.
Well, isn't that inconvenient. D'oh.
Well, isn't that inconvenient. D'oh.
From Cortland to Portland
Our offer was accepted. Closing date is August 21st. And we're planning our move to be in mid-September. This is good news.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Prius to Matrix
So, I'm thinking that we might leave our Prius in CA, since it has those fancy carpool stickers and all. I'm thinking that we'll sell it here and buy a Matrix (or Vibe?) in Portland...perhaps even one with all-wheel-drive.
Any thoughts on this?
Any thoughts on this?
Long Shot
I don't suppose there's anyone out there who could get me 2 free tickets to the Taste of Terroir - Livermore Valley's Wine & Food Experience for Thursday, July 24, 2008?
There's a free TCS t-shirt and entire discography for lifetime in store for you! :)
There's a free TCS t-shirt and entire discography for lifetime in store for you! :)
Saturday, July 19, 2008
So Strange
I listen to Lake Wobegon unironically. I remember my parents having Garrison Keillor's tapes when I was a kid. Weird.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Monday, July 14, 2008
Crazy Weekend
Adam's Party
Folks in Town
JFP
Airports
Wine
Pool
Tentative Acceptance of our Offer on the House (!!!)
Some pics...
Folks in Town
JFP
Airports
Wine
Pool
Tentative Acceptance of our Offer on the House (!!!)
Some pics...
Friday, July 11, 2008
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
No House Yet
Tomorrow we head back down south, to Oakland, where it's said to be triple-digit weather. We've a full weekend ahead of us!
The first half of the trip here was spent looking for places, meeting up with folks, working, playing with Pax at the playground. As I wrote last week, we found a place we're really excited about. But we're still going back and forth on price and whatnot.
These kinds of decisions always make me think that I should pray more, but then I catch myself wondering why I should ask God to help me instead of person on the other end of the deal. Should I really ask God to favor me over the seller? Now, in this case, the seller is a bank, so yes, God should pick me ;) over them.
But I guess I'm glad everything hasn't happened too quickly. Even though we still feel great about this property, I have appreciated seeing other houses (even since we put the offer on this house) and learning about the whole process along the way.
So, fingers crossed, rosaries held, chants murmured, and prayers prayed. We really would like this place, so if you're the praying kind, then please, by all means, ask that we'd get this place for a price we can afford!
The first half of the trip here was spent looking for places, meeting up with folks, working, playing with Pax at the playground. As I wrote last week, we found a place we're really excited about. But we're still going back and forth on price and whatnot.
These kinds of decisions always make me think that I should pray more, but then I catch myself wondering why I should ask God to help me instead of person on the other end of the deal. Should I really ask God to favor me over the seller? Now, in this case, the seller is a bank, so yes, God should pick me ;) over them.
But I guess I'm glad everything hasn't happened too quickly. Even though we still feel great about this property, I have appreciated seeing other houses (even since we put the offer on this house) and learning about the whole process along the way.
So, fingers crossed, rosaries held, chants murmured, and prayers prayed. We really would like this place, so if you're the praying kind, then please, by all means, ask that we'd get this place for a price we can afford!
Friday, July 04, 2008
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
Tonight
Thanks Jon. It's painful and beautiful when someone else can express how you feel...
I'm not sure why it always goes downhill
Why broken cisterns never could stay filled
I've spent ten years singing gravity away
But the water keeps on falling from the sky
And here tonight while the stars are blacking out
With every hope and dream I've ever had in doubt
I've spent ten years trying to sing these doubts away
But the water keeps on falling from my eyes
And heaven knows, heaven knows
I tried to find a cure for the pain
Oh my lord! to suffer like you do
It would be a lie to run away
So blood is fire pulsing through our veins
We're either riders or fools behind the reigns
I've spent ten years trying to sing it all away
But the water keeps on falling from my tries
And heaven knows, heaven knows
I tried to find a cure for the pain
Oh my lord! to suffer like you do
It would be a lie to run away
A lie to run, it would be a lie
It would be a lie to run away
It keeps on falling
Water keeps on falling from my eyes
I'm not sure why it always goes downhill
Why broken cisterns never could stay filled
I've spent ten years singing gravity away
But the water keeps on falling from the sky
And here tonight while the stars are blacking out
With every hope and dream I've ever had in doubt
I've spent ten years trying to sing these doubts away
But the water keeps on falling from my eyes
And heaven knows, heaven knows
I tried to find a cure for the pain
Oh my lord! to suffer like you do
It would be a lie to run away
So blood is fire pulsing through our veins
We're either riders or fools behind the reigns
I've spent ten years trying to sing it all away
But the water keeps on falling from my tries
And heaven knows, heaven knows
I tried to find a cure for the pain
Oh my lord! to suffer like you do
It would be a lie to run away
A lie to run, it would be a lie
It would be a lie to run away
It keeps on falling
Water keeps on falling from my eyes
New Territory
We make an offer on a house today. This is completely uncharted territory in our small world. Had a chance last night to meet a new friend and chat about the value of viewing life in seasons...and allowing values to be flexible enough to change with us as we begin to see things in different ways.
More to come.
More to come.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
CONSPI(RED)
Jamie Moffett just sent me this pic from the JFP tour. It's a teaser of what's to come. Holly and I are helping design a quarterly publication called CONSPIRE! Plotting Goodness.
Stay tuned.
Stay tuned.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
And We're Off
Today, we take off and head up to Portland for some relief from the heat, and to see what might be in the future for our family. Your thoughts and prayers along the way would be appreciated. As well as Portland connections.
Today, we'll try to make it up to Medford. Tomorrow, before heading on up to Portland, I'm hoping we can stop in to their up-and-coming "Oregon Napa Valley" which makes some fine wines from warm weather (as opposed to the Willamette Valley which produces many cool weather wines).
Okay, time to get packing...
Today, we'll try to make it up to Medford. Tomorrow, before heading on up to Portland, I'm hoping we can stop in to their up-and-coming "Oregon Napa Valley" which makes some fine wines from warm weather (as opposed to the Willamette Valley which produces many cool weather wines).
Okay, time to get packing...
Friday, June 20, 2008
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Russel & I
If you didn't get enough of me and The Cobalt Season via the Emergent Village Podcast or the Nick & Josh Podcast, then perhaps try on the SimpleMuzic Podcast. Russel and I sat down in his apartment a few weeks back and talked about the music-making process, searching for something "better" and stuff of that nature. Enjoy.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Waste-Based Petrol?
Thanks to my brother-in-law (who refuses to blog) for this link.
The idea is that there is a genetically-mutated bacteria that can convert waste materials like wood chips or particular grasses into crude oil. Oh, and the crude produces a petroleum that is carbon-negative. Weird. Cool?
Of course this is no "big answer," but it is perhaps a step in a better direction than fossil fuel or food-fuel. Check out the article.
The idea is that there is a genetically-mutated bacteria that can convert waste materials like wood chips or particular grasses into crude oil. Oh, and the crude produces a petroleum that is carbon-negative. Weird. Cool?
Of course this is no "big answer," but it is perhaps a step in a better direction than fossil fuel or food-fuel. Check out the article.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Bottle Shocked!
Thanks to Ryan for tipping me off to this movie. Just having finished my Introduction to Winemaking course, I'm stoked to see this in the theatres.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Friday, June 13, 2008
How Time Flies
Jared and Lacy are getting hitched today.Wow, it seems like just a short time ago that these cats weren't even engaged! And here we are today, all going to a big wedding at the Great American Music Hall. I hope I'm funny, but not too funny.
Congrats to the two of you.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Fragile Iconoclast
On the near eve of Jared and Lacy's wedding, we celebrate by (re) releasing Fragile Iconoclast as digital download. We really wanted to push the CD/DVD combo because we feel like it helps to really tell the story of this new album, but I understand that many of you (like me) are completely used to digital purchases.So, if you've been waiting for a digital download before you were going to buy the album, now you can make that big purchase. Just go here. Enjoy.
Monday, June 09, 2008
Thursday, June 05, 2008
Email from Burma
Please pray that...
1 Our government would allow foreign aid agencies to get involved in the relief works, as people desperately need the help from experts from outside.
2 Local aid workers and volunteers were exhausted and fatigued. As this is a long-term process, please pray that they will be fit, both physically and mentally, to resume their tasks, with perseverance and firm determination.
3 The refugees were empty-handed when they were forced to leave the camps. Please pray that God will protect their paths, lead them to do the task that is suitable for them, and provide them the strength to continue their lives.
1 Our government would allow foreign aid agencies to get involved in the relief works, as people desperately need the help from experts from outside.
2 Local aid workers and volunteers were exhausted and fatigued. As this is a long-term process, please pray that they will be fit, both physically and mentally, to resume their tasks, with perseverance and firm determination.
3 The refugees were empty-handed when they were forced to leave the camps. Please pray that God will protect their paths, lead them to do the task that is suitable for them, and provide them the strength to continue their lives.
Monday, June 02, 2008
Coming Soon
The Cobalt Season (sans Jared) will be performing short sets at The Church Basement Roadshow and at Jesus for President here in the next couple months. Come on out, yo.
Get the word out, yo!
Get the word out, yo!
Sunday, June 01, 2008
The Baby and The Bathwater
When I officially began my deconstruction process many years back, I remember folks telling me not to throw the baby out with the bathwater. It pissed me off back then. It wreaked of safety and precision. I assumed that if Jesus of Nazareth called us to radically rethink everything, that there would be some collateral damage. In fact, I welcomed it.
I have felt a good deal of that collateral damage, seen it inflicted on others, and have generally come to appreciate (but not suggest) the idea of not throwing out the baby with the bathwater.
I still feel that people with a conviction/dream should try to live into it. Try it out. Push into it. You'll probably find that it's not all that you thought it would be, but you'll learn something from it and why waste away never trying truth on?
But I must say that I did throw out several babies while trying to drain the tub. And while I can defend myself and say it was all in the name of getting at that unattainable Truth, I still owe several folks many apologies. My bad.
It seems that there's a great many of us who are in some state of deconstruction, trying to figure out what to keep, what to reinvent, what to leave behind all together, what to caution others against, what to encourage others toward.
And we're ready to throw off the chains in the name of revolution...but sometimes we find ourselves in liminal spaces where rules haven't been set...we're groping...trying to do the best we can to improvise. And perhaps this is where community comes in. Other people (whether local or far-away or from ages past) can help us along the way.
But I'm not here to preach about community. I'm here to suggest that it's okay for us to grieve at the lack of certainty that so many of us live with these days. Damn, those Egyptian days of certainty feel far away and strangely, romantically comforting...calling me back there.
But I won't go. I'm try my luck in the dark a little while longer before I go back.
I have felt a good deal of that collateral damage, seen it inflicted on others, and have generally come to appreciate (but not suggest) the idea of not throwing out the baby with the bathwater.
I still feel that people with a conviction/dream should try to live into it. Try it out. Push into it. You'll probably find that it's not all that you thought it would be, but you'll learn something from it and why waste away never trying truth on?
But I must say that I did throw out several babies while trying to drain the tub. And while I can defend myself and say it was all in the name of getting at that unattainable Truth, I still owe several folks many apologies. My bad.
It seems that there's a great many of us who are in some state of deconstruction, trying to figure out what to keep, what to reinvent, what to leave behind all together, what to caution others against, what to encourage others toward.
And we're ready to throw off the chains in the name of revolution...but sometimes we find ourselves in liminal spaces where rules haven't been set...we're groping...trying to do the best we can to improvise. And perhaps this is where community comes in. Other people (whether local or far-away or from ages past) can help us along the way.
But I'm not here to preach about community. I'm here to suggest that it's okay for us to grieve at the lack of certainty that so many of us live with these days. Damn, those Egyptian days of certainty feel far away and strangely, romantically comforting...calling me back there.
But I won't go. I'm try my luck in the dark a little while longer before I go back.
Cathing Up
We finally got moved our of our home in San Francisco. It was a wild ride...a few days long, the last one spent cleaning on hands and knees. But with 4 of us, it made the process seem quick and social.
Craig and Lora have kindly offered their place for us to crash for a bit. Originally, we had considered a longer stay in the Bay area, but the more we thought about (and still think about it), we'll probably try to move to Portland sooner than later.
First step, we are subletting a house in the Sunnyside district (where we want to live) for the last week of June and first week of July. That should be great...best time of year up there and it'll give us a chance to really see if that's the neighborhood (and city) that we want to live in.
We'll hope/plan on remaining in Oakland through summer...perhaps even into early fall (so I can make my wine!)...but we'll wait and see.
Welcome back to liminal space.
Craig and Lora have kindly offered their place for us to crash for a bit. Originally, we had considered a longer stay in the Bay area, but the more we thought about (and still think about it), we'll probably try to move to Portland sooner than later.
First step, we are subletting a house in the Sunnyside district (where we want to live) for the last week of June and first week of July. That should be great...best time of year up there and it'll give us a chance to really see if that's the neighborhood (and city) that we want to live in.
We'll hope/plan on remaining in Oakland through summer...perhaps even into early fall (so I can make my wine!)...but we'll wait and see.
Welcome back to liminal space.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Friday, May 30, 2008
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Thursday, May 22, 2008
China and Burma
We know some folks (who know some folks) who are in Burma, doing relief work. We also have friends in China who are now in the Sichuan region.
If you're looking to donate some money in that general direction for relief, food, etc., email me and I can put you in touch with them.
If you're looking to donate some money in that general direction for relief, food, etc., email me and I can put you in touch with them.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Manufacturing Abundance
It's nice to be home from Kaua'i...and it's not. I loved the trip. It certainly was (as Jared wished us) life-giving.
It gave me some time to get away and think (and not think). One of the things I thought about was my ongoing inner dialogue about scarcity versus abundance. I used to think about this in a purely abstract, theoretical way. But these days, I think of it more in terms of reality...my life, mainly.
I have tried to shift paradigms over the last years, from a deeply entrenched idea of scarcity into a more generous world of abundance. I hoped that if God's economy was an economy of abundance, then I should embrace that and move beyond our very capitalistic idea of scarcity.
But I realized that, true to Ryan Sharp form, I found myself burned out and pissed off at the end of a few years of "trying on" abundance as a paradigm for how I measure and distribute myself, my money, and my time/energy/whatnot. I have thought about this at great length over the last several months and had an epiphany in Kaua'i: I have not been living naturally in this World of Abundance; I have been manufacturing this world.
Do you see what I mean here?
I am not suggesting that God's economy is false or not real. No, no. This comes down to me. I tend to force things that don't come naturally. And this is what I have done again. Instead of living in response to God's abundance, I sort of forced myself into Abundance. And I find myself tired and wanting. I chalked it up as virtue being costly along the way, but I think of the Tao te Ching proverb that I posted month's back: High Virtue is non-virtuous. Therefore it has virtue. And by that definition, I have lived into Low Virtue (a sort of idolizing of virtue). This is something I think about.
It gave me some time to get away and think (and not think). One of the things I thought about was my ongoing inner dialogue about scarcity versus abundance. I used to think about this in a purely abstract, theoretical way. But these days, I think of it more in terms of reality...my life, mainly.
I have tried to shift paradigms over the last years, from a deeply entrenched idea of scarcity into a more generous world of abundance. I hoped that if God's economy was an economy of abundance, then I should embrace that and move beyond our very capitalistic idea of scarcity.
But I realized that, true to Ryan Sharp form, I found myself burned out and pissed off at the end of a few years of "trying on" abundance as a paradigm for how I measure and distribute myself, my money, and my time/energy/whatnot. I have thought about this at great length over the last several months and had an epiphany in Kaua'i: I have not been living naturally in this World of Abundance; I have been manufacturing this world.
Do you see what I mean here?
I am not suggesting that God's economy is false or not real. No, no. This comes down to me. I tend to force things that don't come naturally. And this is what I have done again. Instead of living in response to God's abundance, I sort of forced myself into Abundance. And I find myself tired and wanting. I chalked it up as virtue being costly along the way, but I think of the Tao te Ching proverb that I posted month's back: High Virtue is non-virtuous. Therefore it has virtue. And by that definition, I have lived into Low Virtue (a sort of idolizing of virtue). This is something I think about.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Off to Kauai
Tomorrow morning, me and the misses take a direct flight from San Francisco to Kauai. We'll be there for 5 days and 4 nights. Sans Pax. Ahh. Sweet freedom. Funny thing is, I'm sure we'll talk about him all day and end up missing him dearly.
Still, I'm so looking forward to the beach, sun, booze, scuba-diving, hiking, eating, etc...all on our own time-table. And we won't need to ask for a highchair. Ahh.
I won't be blogging, so uh, have a great week.
Still, I'm so looking forward to the beach, sun, booze, scuba-diving, hiking, eating, etc...all on our own time-table. And we won't need to ask for a highchair. Ahh.
I won't be blogging, so uh, have a great week.
What if We Stopped Waiting?
I saw this on a trash can this morning. I have been asking myself and others this question for some time. I don't know that that provokes me to stop, but it makes me think.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Friday, May 09, 2008
SoCha!
If you're in SF tonight, The Cobalt Season will be playing it's last show for a few months.
Come to SoCha Cafe @ 8 (Mission @ Valencia).
If you're not in SF, or can't leave your house tonight, we'll be streaming the show live @ 8 PM PST.
Come to SoCha Cafe @ 8 (Mission @ Valencia).
If you're not in SF, or can't leave your house tonight, we'll be streaming the show live @ 8 PM PST.
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
Last SoCha show
We play our last of 6 shows at SoCha this Friday. Come join us for a drink and some tunes. We have this show and another in Oakland in June and then The Cobalt Season will be taking some time away from playing live since Jared's getting married and honeymooning and Holly will be hibernating while she paints her new series.So, come one, come all! Also, we'll try to stream it live here on the blog.
8pm | May 9th | Socha Café | Mission/29th
Monday, May 05, 2008
Life As Experiment
I have been reflecting alot these last few weeks. Lots on my mind. Lots is always on my mind.
But I have been evaluating our approach to life...that is, Holly's and my approach.
We have probably done more than most folks will do in their entire lives...
We have traveled extensively across the US and Europe and parts of Asia. I have sat on the board of 2 non-profits. We have toured with 2 bands nationally and internationally. We have helped to launch 3 communities. We have lived in the woods, in the city, on the beach, and in the 'burbs. We have spent more time together as a married couple than most couples will spend together in their entire lives. We have started a corporation and run it while co-parenting our child.
And in all of these situations, we have (at one time or another) given ourselves completely and been burned and burned out. And I guess that is one challenge of living one's life as an experiment...sometimes the outcome is simply limitations, failure, and disappointment. And we are to tell ourselves that this is as valuable as opportunities, success, and happiness. But sometimes it's hard to convince me sometimes.
Limitation is a difficult thing to realize about one's self. But in pushing into anything, you will eventually discover it's limits. One's life might not be all that different. And it's important to realize these limitations and live with them in mind. Sometimes that feels like selling out or being lazy...because you don't push yourself as hard with particular things as you once did. But what are we to do? Act as though we have limitless potential in all things, in all places, in all relationships? It's simply insincere to do so.
Still, to live life as an experiment brings about much beauty and direction...at least as much as it provides disappoint and dead-ends. And so we live open-handed, open-eyed, in that liminal space called Reality. Or at least we try to.
But I have been evaluating our approach to life...that is, Holly's and my approach.
We have probably done more than most folks will do in their entire lives...
We have traveled extensively across the US and Europe and parts of Asia. I have sat on the board of 2 non-profits. We have toured with 2 bands nationally and internationally. We have helped to launch 3 communities. We have lived in the woods, in the city, on the beach, and in the 'burbs. We have spent more time together as a married couple than most couples will spend together in their entire lives. We have started a corporation and run it while co-parenting our child.
And in all of these situations, we have (at one time or another) given ourselves completely and been burned and burned out. And I guess that is one challenge of living one's life as an experiment...sometimes the outcome is simply limitations, failure, and disappointment. And we are to tell ourselves that this is as valuable as opportunities, success, and happiness. But sometimes it's hard to convince me sometimes.Limitation is a difficult thing to realize about one's self. But in pushing into anything, you will eventually discover it's limits. One's life might not be all that different. And it's important to realize these limitations and live with them in mind. Sometimes that feels like selling out or being lazy...because you don't push yourself as hard with particular things as you once did. But what are we to do? Act as though we have limitless potential in all things, in all places, in all relationships? It's simply insincere to do so.
Still, to live life as an experiment brings about much beauty and direction...at least as much as it provides disappoint and dead-ends. And so we live open-handed, open-eyed, in that liminal space called Reality. Or at least we try to.
Sunday, May 04, 2008
Thank God for The Weepies
If you haven't purchased their new album, do it now.Yesterday, when you were young,
Everything you needed done was done for you.
Now you do it on your own
But you find you're all alone,
What can you do?
You and me walk on
Cause you can't go back now.
You know there will be days when you're so tired that you can't take another step,
The night will have no stars and you'll think you've gone as far as you will ever get
But you and me walk on
Cause you can't go back now
And yeah, yeah, go where you want to go
Be what you want to be,
If you ever turn around, you'll see me.
I can't really say why everybody wishes they were somewhere else
But in the end, the only steps that matter are the ones you take all by yourself
And you and me walk on
Yeah you and me walk on
Cause you can't go back now
Walk on, walk on, walk on
You can't go back now
Saturday, May 03, 2008
Evening Ritual
Thanks to Mark's recommendation and Dan's purchase, we have been enjoying some of the best $3.99 Zin I can remember ever having each night. Since we've been home, we've worked during the day, had dinner, and then worked in the evening, polishing off a bottle a night between the 2 of us. Mmm.
Thursday, May 01, 2008
[sigh]
So, we're back home. It's nice to be back in familiar surroundings and to be back in my own bed.
But I will say that this tour was one of our best ones yet. It was much more chill and relational than our last few have been. There's so much that goes into touring that it's hard to be "on" and "available" all the time. Something about this trip was different. Jared? Holly? Pax? Care to weigh in?
So, the updates on life...in case I haven't spilled the beans yet...
We move out of San Francisco on/before June 1st. We're moving to Oakland to take over Craig and Lora's digs for a while (since they're relocating to Paris for 3 years or more). It'll be a lovely place to spend the summer. Our hope is to join them in Paris for October (just after picking, crushing, fermenting, pressing and oaking our first batch of wine).
Who knows where from there. We dream of Portland. But we can be swayed back and forth, depending on the conversation and time of year.
I continue to take my classes (or really, class) on winemaking. That still remains a slightly more distant dream. Perhaps we'll be able to get some property in the next couple a few years. Who knows?
Learning to live more open-handed is hard for me. As Rick said, I have constructed my life very well. But it is just that...constructed. What to do? Try to live more open-handed I guess.
The evening's wine is catching up with me, so I must be off to bed. Peace and rest for us all.
But I will say that this tour was one of our best ones yet. It was much more chill and relational than our last few have been. There's so much that goes into touring that it's hard to be "on" and "available" all the time. Something about this trip was different. Jared? Holly? Pax? Care to weigh in?
So, the updates on life...in case I haven't spilled the beans yet...
We move out of San Francisco on/before June 1st. We're moving to Oakland to take over Craig and Lora's digs for a while (since they're relocating to Paris for 3 years or more). It'll be a lovely place to spend the summer. Our hope is to join them in Paris for October (just after picking, crushing, fermenting, pressing and oaking our first batch of wine).
Who knows where from there. We dream of Portland. But we can be swayed back and forth, depending on the conversation and time of year.
I continue to take my classes (or really, class) on winemaking. That still remains a slightly more distant dream. Perhaps we'll be able to get some property in the next couple a few years. Who knows?
Learning to live more open-handed is hard for me. As Rick said, I have constructed my life very well. But it is just that...constructed. What to do? Try to live more open-handed I guess.
The evening's wine is catching up with me, so I must be off to bed. Peace and rest for us all.
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