Thursday, November 11, 2004

pulling back the curtain...

i continue to awaken to realize that things are not as they have always seemed... life is more complex than i thought in my youth... i am after all now 27...

in a nation that seems (to me) to be pushing towards a fundamentalist black-white, good-evil, them-us, yes-no, in-out understanding of reality, i seem to move in a different direction...

i move toward multiplicity of understanding and reality... toward seeing context, toward trying to hear all sides... trying to hold many things loosely whilst embracing the dynamic tension of these things... so not too loosely, but not too tightly either... you know?...

here's the thing though, pulling back the curtain and seeing that you are not existing in this vaccum state of the world, is costly... and is scary... and you begin to find in yourself both black and white and good and evil and them and us and yes and no and in and out... and you might not know quite what to do with it... especially when you have been taught to identify yourself as a singular, concrete thing... or against any one thing, one people, one person, etc...

now, i am forseeing possible rants about jesus talking about being for us or against us, but let me remind you that jesus was clear in stating in mark that whoever is not against us is for us... different, ey?...

i dunno all of what this means, but i am trying to get my mind around this whole iraq war situation and all that i am hearing just stirs up in me a sense that we are not a 'holy nation' conquering these 'terrorists' who are a part of the 'axis of evil' and we will bring about 'pax americana' through this...

more on it later... i gotta get to bed...

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