Paxton Sharp, 8 lbs., 54 cm

We're enthralled and tired. A quick rundown in words and photos.

10pm - Go to sleep
12am - Wake up because Holly's cramping contractions aren't sleep-through-able
3am - Call Lis, our midwife
3.30am - Clear out living room, blow up and fill up birth pool
4am - Lis arrives
5am - Other midwives arrive for support, I keep warming up the birth pool with boiling water
6.30am - Holly guides Paxton to safe arrival in the birth tub
7.30am - Paxton is asleep on my chest

So there are the words...now, some photos...

It's Begun

S7

If you didn't know, we do graphic and web design to pay the bills. And we just launched our new website here at SharpSeven.com. Check it out yo.

A Year In Retrospect

One year ago today, we left on a 10-month pilgrimage of sorts that would eventually bring us to San Francisco...with child.

For those of you new to the blog, I attempted to chart our first 3 months of that trip in detail on the blog starting here.

Oh the things we saw and experienced...and the people we met and kindled closer relationships with. It was a wonderful season of life for us.

I have been writing some new songs that are very shaped from the questions/thoughts/feelings I gathered along the way. It's interesting how we exchange questions for other questions. I have long thought that the role of an artist and world-changer is to help people exchange their petty, mundane questions for deeper, more probing and important questions. I hope I can help folks (myself included) accomplish this.

Today is a beautiful, wintery day in the City. Yesterday we had real rain. Lovely. Now child, come forth!

Confessions of an Economic Hitman

Just finished Confessions of an Economic Hitman. Wonderful book. Even more, important book.

This book dives into the dark world of the International Banks, Third World Debt, Greedy Nation-Corporation Marriages...and all from first-hand experience. Perkins does not write a survey on something he has researched...he's writing a personal confession.

Pulling back the curtain (so to speak), he shows how all US invasions post-WWII were economically driven. Even further, they were all attempts to excercise imperialistic power in aquiring another nation's natural resources...and setting the country up to be in debt to US (er, I mean international) banks and corporations.

CIA asassinations, US-led coups, supporting dictatorships, hundreds of thousands dead...this is the stuff of some action movie...but it's his personal memoir.

It's not all gloom and doom...and he calls people to wake from their slumber and stop the atrocities. We, the masses, he believes, are the ones making these decisions...by allowing our leaders to act in such ways. He offers some pro-active steps to curtail the US imperialist tendencies...and ways to make a difference for the better in the world.

And there's an interesting few details about the whole Jim Elliot missionary expedition that is quite eye-opening.

An excerpt:

The real story of modern empire...has little to do with what was exposed in the newspapers that morning and has everything to do with us. And that, of course, explains why we have such difficulty listening to the real story. We prefer to believe the myth that thousands of years of human social evolution has finally perfected the ideal economic system, rather than to face the fact we have merely bought into a false concept and accepted it as gospel. We have convinced ourselves that all economic growth benefits humankind, and that the greater the growth, the more widespread the benefits. Finally, we have persuaded one another that the corollary to this concept is valid and morally just: that people who excel at stoking the fires of economic growth should be exalted and rewarded, while those born at the fringes are available for exploitation.

A timely book indeed.

Now, I'm off to start Hegemony or Survival. Anyone want to be a reading buddy? I'm one chapter in and would love a discussion partner.

Kitchen as Meditative Space

I made my second San Francisco batch of beer yesterday with the help of Aurora. It was a fun day of beer-making. I opted for a recipe completely over my head. It's a Belgian Spice Beer. It's the first beer I am brewing in which I'll use a secondary fermenter. This is a big deal for me. It's also the first beer that I'll really age. It should be ready around Holly's birthday (Dec 31st) and we're hoping to tap the keg that night, so if you're in town...

But I've realized that the Kitchen has become, for me, a meditative space in some ways. Despite my inability to make a proper Eggs Florentine, I have found that I have a knack–albeit raw and undeveloped–for cooking. For the most part, I have found that I do enjoy the process of smashing the garlic, slicing the onions, pouring oil onto the wok.

I guess this shouldn't be too much of a surprise...that is, I do love brewing beer in the kitchen.

But I've realized that I can kind of get into a zone when I am doing this...and the work of my hands becomes a bit like a prayer...or something.

And it's given our kitchen a more 'sacred' feel to me...when I'm thinking about it.

PS - I'll be brewing another batch this Saturday or Sunday, so if you're in the area and would like to come over and help out, just lemme know.

Happy Birthday Gandhi

Gandhi is one of the few people who seemed to take seriously the teachings of the Master. Captivated by Tolstoy's The Kingdom of God is Within You and thorough in his study of the Sermon on the Mount, he took Jesus at his word.

In constant dialogue with people of other religions (particularly British Christians), he was convinced that the Jesus of Scripture was not the Jesus of Christianity. Christianity, as played out in his context, was concerned with where you go when you die, said there was no partnership with God in the salvation of the world, and focused on the evil of humanity and the goodness of God.

Gandhi refused that mindset...the mindset that said it was all God and nothing to do with humanity. He felt that there should be a partnership...that we should be active agents of goodness and healing in our world...agents of God. Sad (or perhaps enlightening) to think that he might have been more inline with the Hebraic understanding of Tikkun Olam than his Christian contemporaries. You see, Jesus' tradition said that we are co-redeemers in this whole Creation experiment.

Happy Birthday to the Mahatma.

Dollars Expose Priorities & Paradigms

This sure seems a great way to spend 1.2-??? billion dollars.

Certainly this question has been dragged through the mud, but weren't we all just immigrants at some point?

Getting our feet wet.

So one of the hopes of spending some time in San Francisco was to get our feet wet attempting to live out the teachings of Jesus. Many of us have realized that to fully understand the Man's teachings, you must delve deeper into the Hebraic tradition in which he lived and was raised. The words of the prophets of old were seemingly a part of the very social fabric of the First Century Palestinian-Roman Jewish world. In order to understand the very nature of the "good news" to which Jesus spoke of, one must turn to the prophets.

Anyways, we have been attempting some common life rhythms with friends in the neighborhood and surrounding neighborhoods that resonate with this good news. We have been participating with a group where we're putting up propaganda pieces around the Mission district to encourage folks to take care of their neighborhood...and not to just look to others to do that. It's called Barrio Libre. Nate and Mark and Adam have shared some wonderful thoughts on this particular experiment with truth that we're embarking on.

Another part of our common rhythm is the reading of sacred texts. In reading these below suggested passages for this week, I was struck at how Isaiah–while traditionally held that he was speaking of Jesus–could have been speaking of himself or perhaps any who would attempt to live out the sacrificial way of recalling people to a covenant of humanity...of justice, peace, and life. And perhaps this is not unusual to think...that those who were to follow the example of the Master would be treated as he was treated and should encourage the initiatives that were Kingdom initiatives.

Isaiah 1:17
"Learn to do right! Seek justice. Encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow."

Isaiah 42:1-4
"Here is my servant, whom I uphold, my chosen one in whom I delight; I will put my Spirit on him and he will bring justice to the nations. He will not shout or cry out, or raise his voice in the streets. A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out. In faithfulness he will bring forth justice. he will not falter or be discouraged till he establishes justice on earth. In his law the islands will put their hope."

Isaiah 53:1-12
Who has believed our message and to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed? He grew up before him like a tender shoot, and like a root out of dry ground. He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him. He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed. We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all. He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth. By oppression and judgment he was taken away. And who can speak of his descendants? For he was cut off from the land of the living; for the transgression of my people he was stricken. He was assigned a grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death, though he had done no violence, nor was any deceit in his mouth. Yet it was the LORD's will to crush him and cause him to suffer, and though the LORD makes his life a guilt offering, he will see his offspring and prolong his days, and the will of the LORD will prosper in his hand. After the suffering of his soul, he will see the light of life and be satisfied; by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many, and he will bear their iniquities. Therefore I will give him a portion among the great, and he will divide the spoils with the strong, because he poured out his life unto death, and was numbered with the transgressors. For he bore the sin of many and made intercession for the transgressors.

Isaiah 58:6-12
"Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter — when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood? Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard. Then you will call, and the LORD will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.

"If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and malicious talk, 1and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday. The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins and will raise up the age-old foundations; you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls, Restorer of Streets with Dwellings."

Luke 4:16-21
He went to Nazareth, where he had been brought up, and on the Sabbath day he went into the synagogue, as was his custom. And he stood up to read. The scroll of the prophet Isaiah was handed to him. Unrolling it, he found the place where it is written: "The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor."

Then he rolled up the scroll, gave it back to the attendant and sat down. The eyes of everyone in the synagogue were fastened on him, and he began by saying to them, "Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing."

What's Up With Us

I am sick...some sort of Upper Respiratory thingie. I'm getting over it by drinking lots of water and Emergen-C packets. Mmm. And sleeping when I can.

Holly is good. Our midwife says she's in a really good place (so is the baby) and just needs to be patient.

We've both been reading in our spare time. Me, Confessions of an Economic Hitman, borrowed from a certain Lora Burnett. Wonderful, probing book about international banks/loans, US-Global Empire, and a guy who "got out". Wow. Holly finished Gandhi's Biography...a beautiful book from all she relayed to me. He was someone who took seriously Jesus' Sermon on the Mount.

Her bookmark has now become my bookmark, and I'd like to share it with you. It's a airplane ticket stub from our first (or second?) trip to Thailand last year. It's a little note to herself that Holly wrote.

A life of substance, a life of meaning. I want my life to count for something more than my own personal gain. I don't mean this in the small things I do on the side, a couple of hobbies or a trip here and there...I mean I want the very substance of my life to be consumed with helping others. I want my job (or lack-there-of), my money, my family, my house (or lack-there-of) all to be decisions based around these thoughts.

I know as I return it will be easy to return to comfort, self-seeking behaviors, money, stability, safety, and all America has to offer. Some of these 'ideals' are good, but I want to look beyond them and forgo the good for a potential better. I want to be a part of that 'better' and I want to be responsible for helping bring that to others as well. I believe this to be the teachings of Jesus. I don't know exactly what 'better' looks like, but I want to wholeheartedly pursue it and hopefully bring hope to others with the hope I find.

That was written while in Thailand by the woman I love.

Saw This Coming

Iraq war fuels terror. I just wondered if it'd ever be admitted to.

Honestly, did you think it'd go differently? Violence breeds violence. Injustice breeds further injustice.

How long must we go over this?

Didn't the Master speak to this?

But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.

If the Master teaches that this is the better way, why would we think that in matters of politics or global terrorism that it'd be different. It's a sad thing to me that so many people under the label Christian do not see a connection between the man's teachings and their world. Truly something has been lost.

Waiting.

Life can feel like a waiting room, where you busy yourself with unimportant things, thinking that what is important is going on elsewhere or is soon to come. So we move with haste to busy ourselves with nonsense. How do we redeem waiting?

Our journey in pregnancy changed a week ago, when Holly started feeling different sorts of contractions. Our midwife came over and said that we might be in "real" labor soon. This was of course exciting news for a great many reasons. But it was inconveniencing as well. My mother was coming in for the weekend, we had a shower in Santa Cruz on Saturday, and I had bought a ticket to fly to DC on Sunday night to be with friends whom we love dearly.

Everything was temporarily put on hold. And so I cleaned house. What else can you do when you're told to wait?

Here we are, a week later, and no baby yet. I'm told that this is good practice for how life will be post-pregnancy...that is, that we are no longer in control of our schedules and whatnot. I'm sure there is great truth to that. But that doesn't mean that I'm ready for it. And that means nothing at all.

I'm really disappointed that I couldn't make it to DC...and if I were some sort of fatalist, I'd say there was a reason behind why I didn't "get" to go out there. But I think of myself as a sort of pragmatic deist sometimes. But if we had had a baby then it was going to give me a reason for why I didn't "get" to go...perhaps I'm a fatalist when it's convenient?

So we wait a little while longer...get some more work projects completed, clean house a little more thoroughly, read some books on kids and economic hit men, water my plants, write thank yous, eat breakfast, make coffee.

But the moment is now, not later. Why is that so hard for me to fathom? I can make sacred the future, but seldom the moment. Am I alone in my predicament? Is this the worst kind of sin? Lord, help me.

In The Meantime, The Kingdom of God

What do we do in the meantime, I'd wonder in my youth. Sure, we understand that in the distant future we will study war no more and that the lion will lay down with the lamb. Some folks call that heaven, some folks call it the millenium, some folks refer to it as nirvana, some call it ridiculous.

Yesterday, as I braved San Francisco traffic to head to Oakland, I wondered how I was to be an advocate of goodness in a seemingly pissed-off environment...was I to be meek and serve others by allowing them in front of me? Of course, that can only go on so long before I begin shouting shit, shit, shit. And I thought, you know, if we'd all take care of each other, then I'd be able to serve people better. If people were working cooperatively here, then I could let a few people in and eventually someone would let me in. But I was aware that during rush hour, most people can only think of themselves. And I said, well, in the meantime, I guess I'll have to be my own advocate here.

And it dawned on me that very few of us live in the future reality presently.

Jesus came proclaiming a Kingdom of God that was both here and at hand. He harkened the words of the prophets of old. But so many of us forfeit the meantime, thinking only of the future...or even the next step. I journalled in my moleskine in Europe about how I often use future language to describe how the Kingdom of God might be.

But the community of the Way was to model the Kingdom of God now. NT Wright said something about modeling the future of God in the here and now. And of course it doesn't always make sense. That's what makes it an alternative community...even though it is attempting to move with the most ancient of rhythms of our Universe...attempting to recover healthy relation to Creator and creation.

But what do we do in the meantime? is an uninformed, sleepy question...because the meantime is the time of the Kingdom of God. We are the ones we've been waiting for. Now is the time. It's not all about God and nothing to do with you...let's put behind us that silly, escapist notion...it's about a partnership...it always has been a partnership. Always. This is the year of the Lord's favor. Let us engage as though it depends on us holding up our end of the deal, receiving grace for fucking up and still pressing on in the dark.

Do you not know?
You really are the one
To bring the healing that has begun
And it has begun

We must begin to live consistently, realizing that all of life is sacred. Banish from our vocabularly the phrases, I did it for the mortgage and Yah, but in business, it's about the bottom line. We are to live the Kingdom now, not later, not when thinking spiritually, not in certain things...in all things. All things. All things. All things.

Everything counts. How did we get so far off from this? Everything, everything, everything counts...what we buy, how we fill our days, how we fill our bellys, who we coming along side of, who we shun, how we treat this good earth, how we treat our next-door neighbor and our global neighbor.

This is the meantime...the Kingdom of God.

William Addison Stavlund

May 9 - September 12, 2006

We love you Will. We love you Mike, Stacy, and Ella. You are a beautiful, loving family.

The Last Few Weeks

We moved into our place in San Francisco about 6 weeks ago. It's been a busy few weeks.

In the last 6 weeks, we've...

Hosted half a dozen people in our home,
Watched the entire first season of Arrested Development on DVD,
Driven to Sonoma twice,
Finally eaten more meals at home than out,
Eaten at 4 of the local restaurants in our neighborhood,
Had coffee at 4 of the local coffee shops in our neighborhood,
Hosted a party,
Taken a sick day the next day,
Resuscitated my laptop,
Checked out the financial district,
Gone to MOMA twice,
Driven Twin Peaks,
Made several trips across to the Richmond, Parkside, and Sunset, up to the Mission, Haight, Noe Valley, Castro, Bayshore,
Gone to the POWER TO THE PEACEFUL festival in Golden Gate Park,
Checked out Coit Tower,
Found a pediatrician,
Shopped at half a dozen or so farmer's markets all across the Bay,
Made a batch of Late Summer Wheat Ale (it's still in the fridge for those interested),
Reworked my blogger template,
Written zero songs,
Planted 1 tree and a dozen or so herbs/plants,
Bought and moved a piano, some bookshelves, and 4 wine barrel planters half way across the City,
Set up a home projection system (sounds fancier than it is),
Met 11 of our neighbors,
Had any sort of real conversation with only 2 of our neighbors (and they just moved several blocks away),
Ridden the MUNI a dozen or so times,
Taken BART around the City and across to Berkeley,
Missed several bus connections,
Gotten on the wrong BART train,
Eaten at a lousy fish-n-chips near Fisherman's Wharf once (gag),
Had ice cream at Mitchell's Ice Cream (eh...not my favorite),
Read some birthing books,
Bought some homebirth and waterbirth supplies,
Run with the boys twice,
Met with our wonderful midwife at our place 3 times...

Holly, am I missing anything else worthy of reporting here?

Oh, and we've crossed the Bay Bridge enroute to Oakland more than a dozen times, had a yard sale of epic proportions, gave a bunch of stuff away, I've regrown my beard and Holly's shaved her head again, and we painted what Lora calls "a masterpiece"...

Imagination Communities, Part 4

Thanks Will for your brilliant post (see below). Will is in our extended imagination community...a dear friend who we have walked through life with (even if at a distance) for a few years now. Thanks for this modern "channeling" of Amos' prophetic voice...

God, Speaking To the American Church:

You spend too much time thinking about and wishing for the end of the world. Why are you so anxious to bring about God's judgment? And what kinds of people have you become, thinking the world will end tomorrow?

In your arrogance and laziness you have forgotten why I placed you here. You have endless conferences and seminars on how to do church, but you have forgotten to be the church, a people who faithfully live as an alternative community, pointing all people toward Me through loving service.

You have grown rich exploiting the poor. You bring a tiny pittance of that money back to Me and say, "God, you have been so good to us." But your money smells like crap in My nostrils. It sickens Me and I don't want it. Give it back to the poor from which it came.

You grow more food than you need by destroying the very soil I gave you to tend. You sit down to a sumptuous buffet and say, "Look how God has blessed us." I have not blessed you. I have left you to your own destruction.

There will come a day when the womb of the earth will no longer produce and the poor will rise up and pledge never to sew a cheap garment again. You will grow hungry and your shopping malls will close. Then you will turn to Me and cry, "God, why have you rejected us?" And I will say, " have not rejected you. I have been here all along, waiting for your return."

So turn your face toward Me now. Seek after Me. Live out My commands. Do you want to be people after My own heart? Then care for the poor, the needy, the marginalized, those for whom My heart has always beat loudly. Cease your endless Bible studies, searching for the answer to righteous living. Commit yourselves to following what I already told you to do. Don't believe you are pursuing Me if you are not seeking to do justice.

Care for the planet. You have become so worried about who might also advocate this course of action that you forgot it was one of My first commandments to you. Tend well what I have given you.

Seek the welfare of your community. As people in exile, your future and the future of the place you live are one and the same. So make your world more whole, that you might be more holy.

And live in love. I had hoped you would get that message when My Son joined humanity and demonstrated sacrificial love in action. But you are so worried about His return that you forget why He came. Be a people shaped by the model of Jesus, not just the prospect of escaping the world I have asked you to help heal.

Sharp-Cast

Had a good time chatting with Nick and Josh a couple weeks back once we had arrived into San Francisco. Take a listen.

We've got a new podcast up with Ryan Sharp. Ryan is a singer/songwriter/thinker/graphic designer/insert other cool job title here. His music is excellent and serves as a prophetic voice to us all immersed in Western culture. Ryan is embedded in San Francisco where he is married and expecting his first child (his wife, Holly, is also an excellent artist which you should check out). Ryan has been a friend of Emergent Village from way back in the beginning and is an important voice for us all. He is also actively involved with Relational Tithe, a collective of friends seeking to transform their communities through the generosity of their resources.

We discuss South Park, war, narratives, and money.

Speaking Truth To Power

Thanks to Rick for this link. Good words.

Why are we inclined to be such sleepwalkers? Just today I read a headline saying that the CIA protected the US from further attacks by their secret prisons. I am reminded that Caesar could use anything to justify the growing of the Empire.

When will those who claim the love of God as a higher way be awakened...this sleeping giant called the Church, when will you speak out and not align yourselves with the Empire and it's narrative? Choose the narrative of life set before you...a life of love of Creator and creation...a life that speaks of turning one's cheek, walking the extra mile...not resisting an evil person, but overcoming evil with love.

How long, oh Lord? Teach us to love your world.

Click here to view the video clip Rick refers to.

Our Home In Bernal Heights

Imagination Communities, Part 3

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. - Albert Einstein

Why are we so bound?
We love our lives...we feed off sound
Of noise in the background
We pray, "Help me, help me drown."

But are we not like butterflies?
Or is this childish Kingdom all lies?
A naivete no one buys?
Everyone hopes, but no one tries?

Why is it we aren't free?
Why is it we can't see?
Why can't I become who I was meant to be?
To speak the truth and live and be
In harmony with the Kingdom come
A place where rich and poor can run
A world that is here and is yet to come
Where creation and Creator move as one?

Why are we so bound? - Me

We must retell the story of a God who said, "It's not as you assumed it was; and you can live into the story I tell." We must.

Holly's Latest Work

Just posted it up...it's a beautiful piece. It's inspired by and contains the words to the Hopi Elder's speech that I blogged about a while back.

Enjoy.

Damien's Poem

Damien finally posted his beautiful poem...

Breath Beauty
Breath Pain
Breath Heartache
Breath Hope

Read the full thing here.

Imagination Communities, Part 2

Who made up all the rules
We follow them like fools
Believe them to be true
Don’t care to think them through

And I’m sorry so sorry
I’m sorry it’s like this
I’m sorry so sorry
I’m sorry we do this

Jem - "They" from the album Finally Woken

Imagination Communities

I have been thinking about how terribly difficult it seems for so many people to change...particularly adults who are set in certain known and unknown rhythms. If we consider changing for the better a good direction, why is it so difficult?

I am reminded of how the core of Jesus' teaching was a simple (or not-so) call to change...to move in a different direction, by a different beat, by a different narrative...change the soundtrack, the theme, the plot, the rhythm. Re-imagine the way the world works.

You have heard it said ... but I tell you.

But re-imagining is very hard work...particularly when we are steeped in alternate narratives/imaginations. We are constantly yielding our own imagination to lean on others' hunches/imaginations/dreams/thoughts/ideas. And this is, of course, normal...we are not shaped to live life or think thoughts on our own.

And this is, I am finding more and more, so very important. You see, the radical call to re-imagine the world in which we live (not just dreaming about Heaven, mind you) cannot be done on one's own...on my own...on your own. I cannot re-imagine everything around me...how to raise our child, how to birth our child, how to use my money and other resources (like time, talents, etc.), how to interact with others not like me, etcetera and onward.

I simply cannot re-imagine everything. Nor am I meant to.

We need imagination communities...people around us who can help us imagine and re-imagine over and over, time and time again. Which is a huge part of why we moved to San Francisco...and why we took our trip this last year. In order to sustain the call to "Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand" we must be in real relationships with others who are re-imagining the world and it's workings...and San Francisco just seemed a place for us to be surrounded by those folks.

Don't get me wrong, there are re-imagineers all across the world we now know, but California was kind of like home and San Francisco a good place to land.

If we mustn't give up meeting together to discuss this other world that is possible, then we ought not do it to repeat mindless clichés...rather we must use our limited time to help each other re-imagine more and more deeply what our Creator's world could be should we choose to embrace our human calling, to love Creator and Creation.

If we are to change, let us not change on our own (if we even could). Let's open ourselves up to allow others to change us, believing that this God in us (Emmanuel) can teach us through each other as we love each other.

I love having friends who know more than me, who are further along than me, who have re-imagined certain things that I can rest on as I press on in the dark. Cheers to a Kingdom that cannot be forged by individuals alone.

Help a Sista Out

Hey there, so my sister pretty much had a shit day yesterday. You can read about it here.

Most of you who read this blog probably read hers as well, but if you don't then I'll fill you in. She's moving to Japan to teach English...a big step. And right before she's leaving, she's driving to TX and her car died 50 miles east of Yuma, AZ. She's now stuck with about $3500 in towing charges and repair for a new transmission.

So, I thought I'd ask you for some money...anything will do...and all proceeds will go directly to Lisa. Just click the below link...and then head over to her blog and tell her that you love her.

MAKE A DONATION TO LISA

Redeeming the journey

Thank you for your words, oh kind sages...the solidarity soothes this soul.

So, I thought I'd take another stab at forcing myself to journey. I found that the kitchen might not be the best petri dish...at least at this point. But the garden I know a little better. After all, I did plant a mean herb garden back in Oceanside. I was the envy of all my neighbors. And I've wanted to start getting my hands dirty and get our garden up and running.

So, today we went to a local nursery and got some advice (good starting place, I'm thinking). You know, come to think of it, we didn't consult anyone on the Eggs Florentine. Perhaps a good starting place in the journey is to not just read about something, but to talk with someone who has been there or who is at least passionate about making Eggs Florentine. So, we got some advice.

You see, I want some pretty flowers that are simple and smell nice and will weave in and out of our chain link fence that guards our front yard. It'd be nice to play down the chain link fence as much as we can.

The nurserist (?) recommended Jasmine to us. We bought some and some organic potting soil. Came home, dug a hole, planted one of them and potted the other. They're on either side of our fence so that hopefully they'll grow towards each other (with a little guiding).

And I enjoyed this. Removing trash from our front yard and fence and replacing it with flowers. This seems like the Kingdom to me...replacing refuse with life. Ahh. The journey...I love the journey...philosophizing as we live out the Way.

Who knew that I just needed to get out of the kitchen and into the garden...perhaps this is a metaphor for life vocation? Or perhaps I'm full of shit and this was just easier for me than cooking Eggs Florentine!

I'm not into the journey

So there. I said it. I am not always such a fan of "the journey", a phrase of many who enjoy the hike for the hike's sake or songwriting just as an act of creation. I wish I could say that I love the journey, but man, I just like arriving at spots really. Like San Francisco...I'd rather just know the City, my neighbors, the hot spots culturally, etc...not learn them.

What the hell's wrong with me?

Take, for instance, dinner this evening. Holly and I decided to make Eggs Florentine. Sounds yummy, right? And honestly, how hard could it be? Well, almost nobody sells Hollandaise Sauce...a crucial ingredient. So, I figure, why not just make it?

Turns out things get smokey...really smokey. It was freaking chaos. I had to start over with the Hollandaise Sauce after having made it once and ruining it.

Holly tried poaching eggs...anyone know how to do this? We tried 3 different methods and none worked...so we ended up just frying them instead. Not bad. But still, I would have rather just known from the get-go that we'd end up frying them...the journey to find that was lost on the likes of me.

At least we had some yummy wine. Turns out Idaho makes a fine merlot.

I am no California wine snob...I like wine from all sorts of places. In fact, one of my recent faves was one I had in Kansas...who knew? Yummy.

Anyway, the wine helped...but it simply helped to get me through the journey.

Finally, and in the end, it was a tasty meal...but who cares about the cooking process?!? I mean, I just wanted to get through it.

So, if I am to read this right...I hate the journey. I just want to arrive and know everything. Until then I'll be pissed that I don't.

Any questions?

"the nose-ringed, closely-shorn artist" = My Wife

Always interesting to find someone writing about you. Thanks for the link Jeff. It's an article written by someone who attended last year's Emergent Gathering.

One of the nose-ringed, closely-shorn artists tells me she and her husband wept when they read McLaren's A New Kind of Christian. They never thought followers of Jesus could be kind, tolerant, open to the world. Now, she says, the couple is between homes. Her husband's band has a new CD out, they're touring the country with it, and figure they'll land somewhere with one of Emergent's startup churches. Edgy, nomadic, artistic, kind, on the hunt for a new kind of evangelicalism...any church would be blest by such mobile members.

Thank you for the kind words. But no, we probably won't end up at a new Emergent-brand startup church, nor are we on the hunt for a new kind of evangelicalism. What we are looking for is a more authentic and true way of living life in the Way of Jesus, free from the trappings of the American Dream or the American Church...two things that I wish not to participate in...or at least participate in as little as possible.

So why exactly did we choose San Francisco? The short answer might be friends...but we've friends all over the States that we'd love to be closer to and live life with. Which might lead to a longer answer that perhaps I'll work on later. In the end, I think a huge part of moving here had to do with being a part of one or multiple imagination communities...clusters of people who are really rethinking things, attempting new ways of living, creating new art, embracing new ways of being human.

A Bit of a Blog Hiatus

So, between moving, prepping for and hosting a garage sale, having several friends and family come out to stay with us, putting art on our walls, and finishing several S7 projects, I have barely been able to think, let alone blog. I do hope this short season is coming to an end...and it feels like it is. The house is feeling much more put together...and I promise photos this week.

An old friend from Texas came out to visit for a couple nights. Jon Taylor, Holly, and I went up to Russian River Valey for a beautiful day of driving the coast, eating fish n chips, and wine tasting...mmm. Some photos...




As I posted previously, my MAC got sent to it's maker and returned a much more functional piece of machinery. Praise the Lawd! The RAM was bad and is still in transit to me, so I am operating off 128M...so slow. Still installing software, restoring music and photos.

This past Saturday, I took BART beneath the Bay and on to Berkeley to the Craigslist Foundation Non-profit Boot Camp. C'mon people...loose the military metaphors! Freaking evolve already! Anyway, it was a good day with Darin and Craig. Craig covers it pretty well in his podcast. And then Sunday, the Korch and Hoff clans came up our way for some family reunion time.

This morning I am working, but also still getting my iBook back up to snuff. I just finished importing all my photos from this last year. And looking back over all our photos of the Pilgrimage makes me feel heavy...almost brings me to tears. I get short of breath seeing photos of Glorietta last fall, Mike and Stacey with 2 beautiful children, Rick and Kristi in Tampa, a cold day in Atlanta, friends throughout Texas (new and old), Michigan, Ohio, Philly and Camden, the Northern California coast, Portland and the Great Northwest, Matt Casper and our dear friends in San Diego. Europe, the US, relationships, wine and conversation with so many people who have become such dear friends. Thank you all for these memories.

Ah...

Got the computer back. Apple is fast. Computer seems to be back up and running.

Sorry for the lack of 'thoughtful' posts lately...have seemed very busy. Hoping to share some thoughts soon.

Bad Mac

Well, my Mac has been acting up for about 18 months now and I finally got Apple to hold up to its end of the whole AppleCare agreement and take it in to fix it. I am shipping it in a box tomorrow. Let's hope.

So, I might not be easily reachable via web for the next few days...or I may be. Who knows?

Live: Deconstructing the American Dream reviewed

My buddy Andrew in Florida reviewed the latest The Cobalt Season album for Infuze magazine. You'll probably need to register to read it in full.

A snippet...

We all have to, at some point, stop and acknowledge the questions that start to nag at our hearts and minds regarding our world and our faith. For Ryan and Holly Sharp, the husband and wife team who comprise The Cobalt Season, this time came leading into the fall of 2005. Having endured hardship within some musical endeavors, serving selflessly as impromptu pastors, and contributing to the grassroots movement of Emergent, the Sharp's found themselves at a crossroad of questions and decisions. Disgruntled with the American notions of materialism and Christianity, the two set forth on a pilgrimage, traveling from town to town relying upon the hospitality of old and new friends as well as the grace of God to see them through, searching for answers and insight into the questions they found themselves asking.

Live: Deconstructing the American Dream is a snapshot into that journey.

Do I Smell Piñon in the Air?

And oh, I wanna go
Where the air is clean
And oh, New Mexico wait for me

- David Mead, New Mexico

About this time of year, my heart starts pining for that clean, fall mountain air...those red, moonlike deserts that pop out of the ground almost instantly to form the most bizarre of mesas and mountains. And the smell of those piñon trees split open on the fire for our warmth and light.

About this time of year, I am putting in our registration for the Emergent Gathering near Santa Fe, New Mexico.

This year, though, we won't...because we're scheduled to have a baby that same week. And well, while it makes sense that the baby would come during that season (which for us is the advent of our year), we are already grieving missing the get-together.

What is the Emergent Gathering? you ask...well, it's a sort of retreat where we eat together, live together, share stories of inspiration and hope, despair and cynicism. We talk about life, love, God, wine, how to change our world, how to allow ourselves to be changed, how to live in the way of Jesus, and how to help others along the way.

If you are the least bit interested, please check out the blurb for it on the new Emergent website...and sign up...it's free and no one gets paid to do it. Just a beautiful, generative family reunion of sorts.

A Weekend In The City

This weekend was a blur...no, not really, more of a high or something like it. It was our first real weekend in San Francisco.

It was in the 70s all weekend...except at night, when it'd drop down into the 60s and we could all wear sweaters and/or scarves. Is it really July?

Friday afternoon, Holly and I drove down to see Hailey Scandrette's performance of The Tempest. She was a wonderful jester. Then we headed further south to the Mountain Winery in Saratoga...in the mountains. We went there because we had gotten free tickets to a Bruce Cockburn and Shawn Colvin show...well, free with a pledge to our locally supported radio.

It was a fun evening...Shawn was amazing...just her and her acoustic and some stories. The songs she played from her forthcoming album were our faves.

Then Bruce. Now understand that several friends along the way have told us that we'd really be into Bruce Cockburn because he's a singer-songwriter with similar sensibilities. Some friends (thanks Carla and Jimmy) even gave us some of his music...and I've been getting into it. But live? Well, it was only okay. But I'm still glad we got out of the house and went to do something fun.

Saturday we took the MUNI to Mission Dolores Park for a picnic with some friends...then helped another friend move into the neighborhood...and then Craig and Lora dropped by. It was good to see them since they've been in ASIA for 3 weeks now, eating pig stomachs and fish eyeballs.

Saturday night, we took BART to see Deccatree play at BOCA in downtown. Adam, Amy, and Aurora accompanied us. Fun. Public transportation is such a novelty for us because we both grew up in fairly suburban cities where almost no one took public transport.

Sunday was chill...trying to get everything wrapped up in the house...and we're getting close. Pictures later this week.

Help.

Can anyone help me with some code to show who the comments are from? Anyone? Fry? Bueler? Anyone?

Koyanasquatsi

My life is out of balance.

Hey SF Cool Kids

So, if you're into thoughtful, moody rock-n-roll, please join us this Saturday night at Boca to welcome one of my favorite bands... Deccatree. The keyboard player is a great friend of ours...and plays a mean rhodes/mellotron/DL4/whatever.

It's a mere $5 and the map is here...but if you're planning on making it, let us know. Several of us are already planning on going. Join the cool kids of SF...come on, do it.

We're Home

We arrived into San Francisco today with a Uhaul full of stuff...perhaps more stuff than I care to eloborate on. Thanks so much to Holly's parents, Travers, James, Adam, and Nate for helping us. Wow. What Godsends.

We are dead tired. I think we have been working off a combined maybe 10 hours of sleep from the last 3 nights. But tonight we sleep in our own bed...one we haven't slept on in nearly 10 months! Good Lord, let us sleep tonight.

Sorry if we've missed emails, phone calls, whatever. We'll be back in touch next week.

Ciao.

Oh, our address if you're interested...

4038 Folsom
SF, CA 94110

The 814 in Retrospect

Ray put together a video of the 814 going off on the 4th of July. We lived here through 2 of the July 4ths. Yes, it was often as crazy as it is in the video. Ha. It makes me laugh to think of it. For those of you subscribing and not seeing the YouTube screen below, click here.

An Open Letter To Our Design Clients

Our friend just directed us to this post that Seth Godin wrote. As Holly read it out loud to me, we kept saying things like Seriously! or He's totally right on!

So, without further adieu...

How to live happily with a great designer by Seth Godin

Why do some organizations look great... and get great results from their design efforts and ads... while others languish in mediocrity? I think it has little to do with who they hire and a lot to do with how they work with their agencies and designers.

Here are the things your design team wishes you would know:

1. If you want average (mediocre) work, ask for it. Be really clear up front that you want something beyond reproach, that's in the middle of the road, that will cause no controversy and will echo your competition. It'll save everyone a lot of time.

2. On the other hand, if you want great work, you'll need to embrace some simple facts:

3. It's going to offend someone. If it doesn't offend them, then it will make them nervous. The Vietnam Vets memorial offended a lot of people. The design of Google made plenty of people nervous. Great work from a design team means new work, refreshing and remarkable and bit scary.

4. It's not going to be easy to sell to your boss. That's your job, by the way, not mine. If you want me to do something great, you've got to be prepared to protect it and defend it. Come back too many times for one little compromise, and you'll make it clear that #1 was what you wanted all along.

5. You can't tell me you'll know it when you see it. First, you won't. Second, it wastes too much time. Instead, you'll need to have the patience to invest twenty minutes in accurately describing the strategy. That means you need to be abstract (what is this work trying to accomplish) resistant to pleasing everyone (it needs to do this, this and that) and willing, if the work meets your strategic goal, to embrace it even if it's not to your taste.

6. Help me out by pointing out the work you'd like this to be on a peer with. If you want a website to be like three others (in tone, not in execution) then point it out. In advance.

7. Be clear about dates and costs. Not what you hope for, but what you can live with!

8. You don't know a lot about accounting so you don't backseat drive your accountant. You hired a great designer, please don't backseat drive here, either.

9. If you want to be part of the process, please go to school. Read design magazines or take a course from Milton Glaser or get a subscription to Before & After. By the way, that one link is the single best part of this post.

10. This one may surprise you: don't change your existing design so often. Not when your kids or your colleagues tell you it's time. Do it when your accountant says so.

11. Don't get stressed about your logo.

12. Get very stressed about user interface and product design. And your packaging.

13. Say thank you.

"Hot as Hades" = "The Bay Area is the Devil's Playground"?

Can you believe it reached 117' yesterday up here?!? We were driving from San Francisco (where it was 102' in the afternoon) to Santa Cruz (where it was 109' when we got there in the early evening). Along the way, the temperatures spanned from 81' (near Millbrae) to 117' (on Highway 17 in the mountains) with an average of 115' (from Menlo Park to Cupertino almost consistently). Wow.

www.paxtonsharp.com

I thought I posted this earlier, but apparently I hadn't. We have a site for Paxton (our not-yet-here son) that we've put up to track progress, let him speak his mind, post photos etc. If you're interested, it's here.

Oh, and Paxton says to have a nice weekend.

Oh San Francisco

Some pics from our visit to our new home today. We get the keys on July 28th...just after we head down to San Diego to get our stuff out of storage and drive it back up.

We couldn't get inside because we hath no key, but here are some attempted photos from the outside.

Enjoy...





What the stalkers will see when they peer through our bedroom window...


The bathroom (again, through the window)...


The family room...


Our garbage, recycle, and compost bins in the garden...that has a producing plum tree and plenty of space for us to creat a vegetable garden.

We Got A House! (Or OMG!)

Wow. Frickin' wow. We are renting a full-on house!

What a good night's sleep, a few prayers, some mourning and bitching can do. We found a house...not an apartment, a full-on house. Now it's a mere one-bedroom, but it is a large one-bedroom. And it's in the neighborhood (Bernal Heights) that we really, really wanted.

Wow. I can hardly catch my breath. It's quite unbelievable really.

And in the last 24 hours, we have had much support given to us from friends and family that would make the move-in possible. Thank you all for your kind words, deeds, prayers and thoughts.

My God, yesterday I said that I could do no more. Thank you for acting on our behalf.

Voluntary Displacement (or "Woe Is Me")

These last 9 months for us have been amazing...sharing story and life and love and music with so many friends across our world. We have been graciously hosted, fed, loved on, listened to, shown around town, etc.

But we are beginning to (no, not beginning...we have been for quite a while) draw from our reserve tank. The constant up and down and in and out and here and there is beginning to create large knots in our backs and a strain on our life.

I jokingly referred to it as Voluntary Displacement earlier this year...and that has been the best description I can come up with. It has been a discipline in attachment...or dis-attachment rather. Everytime we begin to get comfortable, we intentionally move ourselves elsewhere.

So what's a couple (with child on the way) to do when it feels like it's time to practice Voluntary Placement...into a particular context and time and space? It's been a difficult transition.

We have been in San Francisco for the last few days and nights looking for places to live. It has been a bit disheartening. And the City itself causes me to feel a bit disoriented. The idea of the City energizes me...but the reality causes further feelings of displacement...and like I said, we are running on fumes.

Top that with the fact that we have zilcho cash. We have multiple clients who are either late on payment or who have so extended project deadlines that we literally are out of money...until they pay. So in some ways, finding an apartment wouldn't make a whole hell of a lot of difference...because we couldn't pay for a place yet anyway.

Then compound that with the fact that Holly has been sleeping awfully...which means I've been sleeping awfully...and that means we both frustrate each other in small things.

In some ways, I think the hardest thing is that we have let ourselves think that we're nearing the end of this whole experiment...so our expectations have changed, you know? No longer is excitement drawn from sleeping in different cities/places/beds...now it's dread that it causes.

And then there's the fact that I won't be able to make it to Troy's ordination next weekend...and that Mike and Stacy are constantly on our hearts and that it's been hot as hades (not really) in the Bay these last several days...let's see, is there anything else I can say?

Okay, that's enough bitching for one Monday morning. Just a day in the life I guess.

Sorrowful Hypocrisy

I cannot believe that I just heard Israel issue a statement that they will not deal diplomatically with terrorists...and then they hit back. (More here and here.)

Terrorists? I don't mean to oversimplify or underestimate your pain here, but do you not know your history Israel? Terrorists? That's just a word that people can self-righteously use to distance themselves from that kind of violence, while not paying close attention to their own.

And then to hear the President of the United States talk about the awfulness of the killing of innocent people. I am with you, Mr. Bush. But what about the tens of thousands (if not more) of innocent Iraqi civilians?

Where is the consistency here? Where is it?

This is a sorrowful day.

I Heart Ben

Mr. Folds, you've changed Holly's and my life and given us some new things to think about. We gotta thank you for that. You have made us laugh and think and laugh again. Thanks.

Jasen Ashdown shared some EPs of Ben's with us, and they have become anthems for our pilgrimage in many a place. Songs like Jesusland, Give Judy My Notice, Cooler Than You, and the below song, All You Can Eat, are just simply wonderful songs.

You really should buy his music and become a snarky, punk-ass kid like me.

All You Can Eat by Ben Folds

Son look at all the people in this restaurant
What d'you think they weigh?
And out the window to the parking lot
At their SUVs taking all of the space

They give no fuck
They talk as loud as they want
They give no fuck
Just as long as there's enough for them

Gotta get on the microphone down at Wal-Mart
Talk about some shit that's been on my mind
Talk about the state of this great of this nation of ours
Poeple look to your left, yeah look to your right

They give no fuck
They buy as much as they want
They give no fuck
Just as long as there's enough for them

Son look at the people lining up for plastic
Wouldn't you like to see them in the National Geographic?
Squatting bare-assed in the dirt eating rice from a bowl
With a towel on their head and maybe a bone in their nose

See that asshole with a peace-sign on his licence plate
Giving me the finger and running me out of his lane
God made us number one because he loves us the best
Well maybe He should go bless someone else for a while, give us a rest

[They give no...]
Yeah and everyone can see
[They give no...]
We've eaten all that we can eat

Sorry if it seems a bit crude, but it reminds me of James' (you know, Jesus' brother) words...You have lived on earth in luxury and self-indulgence. You have fattened yourselves in the day of slaughter.