It's always a strange thing. Texas just isn't my home any longer. I guess it hasn't been for a good while. Not that my family isn't here, but I am not here, you know?
Most everyone's got religion in Texas and it allows them to feel superior, to feel safe, to feel chosen, to feel like they've got the corner on the market of truth... the war is on behalf of the righteous, the only news network that isn't tainted is FOX, and their picture of Christ must be him with sword in hand ready to pick a fight with any person who doesn't bow to his set of beliefs (or the beliefs of American Christians).
I don't get it. Really. I don't get it. I sat in the car for a good while today pondering it. I guess I am an alien in this land.
I feel sick in certain settings back here in Texas. Sad that so many people see the world as something to wage war on... and I guess the saddest part is that I was one of those people years ago. But now I feel like a stranger, a minority.
I was telling Holly today that I don't even feel like people would respect my thoughts/beliefs/opinions if I brought them up. I said I am beginning to feel (in at least some small way) what I must feel like to be some minority in an overwhelming homogenous majority. I feel alone in so many ways.
It amazes me. It amazes me. I cannot believe that people cannot see themselves in a larger story that encompasses all people. But my eyes are just being opened.
It's not that people back here don't care; it just seems like so many of them have their view of the world and nothing that challenges it can be even weighed. I just don't get it. I just don't get it.
I think I am depressed.