Fun With Craig's Laptop

Universality and Consistency

I've become very aware recently that I tend to universalize that which is personal. This is a huge realization for me...perhaps even a break-through in understanding how I see the world.

I wonder if others universalize that which is personal to them... or perhaps that's me universalizing my condition onto others... Taking my perspective and assuming it's what others think or should think.

But I long to understand and value a healthy pluralism that goes beyond tolerance to cooperation and truly values multiple perspectives. A world that is thoroughly contextualized to individual and group experience that is not fragmented or disconnected. I long for this...really, I do. But the problem is that sometimes I think I'm right...which means that if I believe that, not just personally, but universally, then others sometimes are wrong.

Of course sometimes that makes sense, but sometimes it is very near-sighted and narrow of thought.

You know, I just want a consistent picture/story/life...and somehow it seems necessary to my mind to verify it as universally consistent. Perhaps that's just my fundamentalist roots, holding a sort of "absolute truth" that I alone get to see. What foolishness, but how interwoven it is into my skin and soul.

My friend Emma says she just wants to meet some people that are truly consistent. I get that. I want to live a life that is truly consistent.

I'll share a poem I wrote in April when we were in Europe...

I'm searching for a unified theory
Everything accounted for
No one left out
No one left wondering

But a closed system would begin to feel oppressive
Suffocating
Stagnant

Some tell me, "Keep looking."
Some ask, "Why bother?"
Some say, "Heretic! Leave things well enough alone."

But I want it all to make sense
Be consistent, be connected
No one left out
No one left wondering

Many Thoughts a Brewin'

But I don't have time to type them out. In the mean time, some blogs you might want to check out...

Mike Devries recounting this chapter of life that is now coming to an end. Mike is a dear, dear friend and one who I have found much solidarity with. After 4 years of attempting a church-like venture (and doing and being some beautiful things... some of which I have been able to participate in), they have decided to disband, so to speak. Mike was also a huge part in our whole Anchor Point experiment in Oceanside. Shoot him an email and tell him you love him.

Will makes a good case for his anti-war stance. I love Will's thoughts. He has a certain clarity about so many things. We have known Will for a few years now and they were one of the first families we stayed with on our pilgrimage last fall. Wonderful people there in Lexington, KY.

Mike and Stacy Stavlund are some of our most favorite people. They have had a seemingly crazy last few weeks. If you are not a subscriber to his blog, shame on you! Just kidding...but you ought to be.

I don't remember how I found Darius or how he found me... but I've enjoyed his blog. Some interesting 3rd options, if you know what I mean.

Now back to work and then off to traveling again...

A little diddy...

...head on over to Craig's blog as he and I wonder out loud about what America and Europe could learn from each other. It's intense, yo.

Sunshine = God's Pleasure

This last weekend, Holly and I were invited back to the 814 to perform a wedding ceremony for our friends James and Jen. It was a wonderful day, with incredible weather (that was not anticipated since May has had less than 8% sun), wonderful draft beer (thanks Sean), good friends and a wonderfully simple, and very 814, wedding ceremony. Martin recounts it here.

Yes, it was a great day.

The 814 is a magical place in our memory...kind of like the mythic BIG FISH town of Spectre. But I don't think it's our time to be there right now...but it's wonderful to go back and visit.

These last several days have been wonderful. San Diego is a great town...and my sister lives in a cool neighborhood (University Heights), lined with independent restaurants and little shops and coffee houses. And seeing our good friends in South Park was a wonderful time. The Evans, Gonzales, and Kembles are such great folks.

And a little breakfast with my buddy Mike reminded me of what a similar journey we seem to be on. Wow. He made a statement that I have been considering quite a bit these last couple days... People only deconstruct and re-imagine things that really mean something to them. Wow. I think you're right.

Now we're back in the Bay for a few days. Always good to be back up here. Ahh.

Climate Crisis

There is a new film coming out called, An Inconvenient Truth, based on a slideshow that Al Gore has been showing these last couple years. It deals with escalating concerns with global climate change, something that is both very real and worth our time to consider...particularly for those of us who feel that humans are to be stewards of God's green earth.

My friend Chris always seems to have some interesting links regarding this issue.

The US is really the last nation to actually recognize that global warming does, in fact, exist. Weird...just plain weird.

"Cultural Assumption" is what Damien calls it.

Damien has some great words regarding the sad misplaced attention on The DaVinci Code when there are so many other 'battles to fight' (pardon the military metaphor).

He reminded me about the Dateline show tonight with Bono regarding Africa. Now I'm thinking about us checking into one of the house party/viewings that seem to be going on all across the US. Anyone else?

"Believer"

In the last couple years, my mind and spirit have been stretched in many ways. And you know when this happens, you begin to see the need for new words to help convey new concepts. But you also re-discover words that have a different etymology than you assumed it to have.

I generally dislike the word "believer" when it is used to define a person religiously. It is used by a great many Christians to mean "a person who believes that Jesus is God and died for their sins so you can have a relationship with him." I have disliked this word, not because it is descriptive, but because it creates a certain "right group" which means there must be a "wrong group".

I'm reading McLaren's latest book, The Secret Message of Jesus (what a lame title, I know!), and it's got me thinking about Jesus' primary message, that is, "Change your thinking, your very life! Re-imagine everything. The Kingdom of God is here, now, at hand." This was Jesus' message. And when he commanded folks to believe in it, it didn't have much to do with his divinity or where you'd go after you die or that somehow by doing this you could have a fuzzy "personal relationship with God", no...it was more (and different) from that.

These people he was chatting it up with in 1st century Palestine were awaiting the future date that God would "bring about his Kingdom" that would end all other Kingdoms (or at least rule over them)...but Jesus says, "No, you're missing the point. The Kingdom of God isn't 'coming'; it's here and now. Live that way."

I posted that Sean and I caught this movie (The Celestine Prophecy) the other day. While aspects of it were a bit high on the cheese factor, the underlying philosophy was very powerful...that there is another reality right here in our midst, but we do not see often see it. We are either too busy or to lazy or to self-focussed to see it. It requires a re-thinking of our very lives and the systems of how things "really work". It requires that our eyes and ears be opened to realities that are not in our immediate view.

I'm not talking about some escapist mystical place or some realization that only happens once you've lived ascetically for 20 years. I'm talking about a reality that tunes us to how the world really works...and it's available to those child-like folks who never stop discovering or changing or exploring.

I guess what I'm getting at is that a "believer" is simply someone who believes that there is another reality, that this Kingdom of God is possible and here...and then works for it, lives in it...not beliving church doctrine, but believing Jesus' teachings. After all, "we know that we have come to know him if we obey his commands." Hmm.

Muchas Peliculas

So, after Europe, I was hungry for movies. I hadn't seen a film in so long. Late winter and early spring generally yield very few movies that I'm interested in. Either way, I wanted to see some flicks whence we got back.

First we saw Mission Impossible 3. What was I thinking? Lisa asked. Well, I was thinking that JJ Abrams directed it and Felicity was in it, so what could be bad about that? It was okay. Holly couldn't take the action and left an hour into it. I finished it off. Am I getting too old to appreciate action flicks? Hmm.

Friday, Holly and I stopped in for an afternoon showing of The DaVinci Code. Okay, so I read the book and really enjoyed it...but I was bored by the movie. Holly enjoyed it, but I thought Hanks seemed tired and there were so many holes that it just lacked for me. On the way out of the theatre, we saw some picketters. That makes me sad. Really sad. Signs saying things like I love Jesus Christ. I reject The DaVinci Code. Why do they feel so defensive? I wonder if they read the book. It asks such good questions...and of course, some silly ones perhaps. Anyways...

Today I went with my buddy Sean to see The Celestine Prophecy at La Paloma Theatre in Encinitas. Interesting, indie flic. It seemed a little underfunded, but the philosophy behind the movie I vibed with. The idea that when humanity finally comes to a place of realizing its place in the story of creation, it can then evolve.

Tomorrow officially starts my work week here in San Diego. We're in San Diego until Thursday and then we head back up to the Bay for another ultrasound on Friday. Okay, here goes.

It's A Boy

Yes, that is what you think it is...

2006 Reads

Books I've read (or listened to) this year and a short review if you're interested...

Collapse: Why Societies Choose to Fail or Succeed by Jared Diamond

This is a fascinating read about environmental (and therefore, human) sustainability. Diamond surveys several different societal collapses that all were predicated by environmental damage. It is a timely read...particularly as an American when you consider that the US is a small part of the world's population uses an incredible (and disproportionate amount) of the world's resources.

Deglobalization: Ideas for a New World Economy by Walden Bello

Thank you, thank you, thank you Emma for mailing me this book from Thailand. Wow. It is a book that every person interested in economy and global justice should read. He not only offers critique of the American trade policies and the organizations set up to keep America 'at the top' (IMF, World Bank, WTO), he also offers some constructive possibilities of other, more humane possibilities.

Nothing Sacred: The Truth About Judaism by Douglas Rushkoff

Holly and I got to hear Rushkoff at a lecture in Knoxville last fall. Total fluke thing, but several of his thoughts really resonated with and challenged us. Considering himself a lapsed Jew, he offers constructive critique of the new-found fundamentalist Jewish systems, calling them to reformation...or even more, to revolution. He offers the ideas that the Jewish way/religion was set up as iconoclastic, intended to keep humanity from deifying any icon/person/idol/whatnot. And that the early Israelites always understood that they had a large place in the story of humanity...they were not simply waiting on God to do everything.The analogues to Christianity are overwhelming and compelling to consider. Certainly I didn't vibe with all of his suggestions, but a great many of them are so powerful to consider.

Binding the Strong Man: A Political Reading of Mark's Story of Jesus by Ched Myers

I've talked about this before, but it's a great commentary on the story of Mark. Thick and well-researched, Myers is thorough in his explanation of peasant revolution, redistributive systems, and the Kingdom of God as earthly reality.

Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu (translated by John C.H. Wu)

Picked this up in Washington when we were up there several weeks back. Holly and I have been reading it out loud to each other. So much wisdom found in it's pages. Understanding the historical context has helped me see what Lao Tzu is offering in his pages. This is a great book for leadership, understanding the Kingdom of God in another tradition, or simply pondering.

Daniel

When Brian McLaren told us his hunch that First Century Palestinian Judaism was primarily a Danielic cult, I figured I ought to go back and re-read Daniel. It is where the phrase "Son of Man" finds it's origin...and in certain places in the text is plural. It's a wild ride of revelation and interpretation, foretelling of the future and understanding that the Kingdom of God is being "built" amidst these other kingdoms of the world...offering a different locus of power and purpose...and I'd suggest even different from many religious manifestations/institutions as well.

Isaiah

Upon re-reading Mark's Gospel of Jesus, I realized that much of the prophecy that the author attributes Jesus fulfilling comes from Isaiah. For many who understand Jesus simply as a figure who died so humanity might go to heaven, this book might give some context around what it was that Jesus was supposed to be doing...namely bringing about justice and peace in this world, here and now. It's also an interesting reminder (up against Daniel) about how the Biblical understanding of God was constantly changing, all throughout Scripture. This book refers to God sometimes in an almost Hindu Brahman sort of way... The Holy. But be warned, this is a interesting paradox of violence and compassion...and I found myself at some points writing in the margins, "What the hell?!?".

The Politics of Jesus by John Howard Yoder

Still not entirely done with this one, so I'll hold off. The book club has stirred up some interesting conversation.

A People's History of the United States by Howard Zinn

Thank God for Howard Zinn. His diligence in researching and gathering of stories in order to tell the history of the United States from the perspective of the marginalized, the pacifists during war-time, the economically/racially-oppressed. While he does not entirely dismiss textbook history, he feels that histories written solely from the upper-class, powerful perspective can only do more harm than good if taken too seriously. His chronicle is both inspiring and indicting. Best to read in small portions and explore similarities to our world today.

The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion

Thanks to Lora for allowing us to listen to this book on CD. It's autobiographical about her husband's death and the year to follow that. It is a moving story that Holly and I just couldn't pull ourselves away from.

A Complicated Kindness by Miriam Towes

Brilliant story of a young girl growing up in a Mennonite community. Written from an adolescent, first-person perspective, it's fun, funny, and sad... sometimes on the same page. Her confusion about her family's strange religious tradition and her place in all of it makes for great story-telling.

The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell

What if we understood social patterns and movements less in linear equations and more in exponential equations, like say, an epidemic? Gladwell explains his simple, but very interesting insight on how social phenomenon begin and either take-off or putter-out.

The World is Flat: A Brief History of the 21st Century by Thomas Friedman

Very informative book. While I don't necessarily share his faith in a global free-market, his exhortation to think more imaginatively and creatively and cooperatively found home in my psyche. The book gives (for the most part) a fair assessment on globalization if you read it all the way through. There were times where I wish he were more clear on some of the unethical practices of these pro-globalist forces.

And just like that...

...we're back in the States.

Schedule for this week.

Wednesday - Find out sex of our child, work.
Thursday - Midwife appt, dinner in Bay, work.
Friday - Head south to San Diego
Saturday - James and Jen's wedding in Oceanside
Sunday - Chill in San Diego

Not sure what's up beyond that yet... For now, let's get through this week. :)

Dead Tired.

So tired. Must go home. Must sleep in comfy bed. Must sleep. Must sleep.

Made it into Amsterdam

We finally arrived at our hotel just after the clock struck midnight last night. Wandering through a fairly residential area with no 'real' map of how to get to our hotel made it trying, especially after 15 hours of trains and transfers from Prague. One delayed train can change your whole day.

But we were able to download the season finale of The Office once we got to our hotel, so that made us smile. God, we love that show.

We are ready to come home. I am at least a little embarrassed to say that. I want to say, "No, we don't want to come back yet, Europe feels like home." But we're ready for 1 comfortable bed (not 2 twins side by side) and a shower with a curtain and a few other requirements we have for living well. :)

Our beautiful and dear friends Mike and Stacy Stavlund have had quite the week thus far. She gave birth to twins (one boy and one girl) on Tuesday. There have been some (expected) complications, but we are all hopeful. What beautiful people. What beautiful children. It's wonderful seeing all the comments on their blog...being reminded what a beautiful community surrounds them. We look forward to seeing them face to face soon.

But for now, a 20-minute train to Amsterdam (as our hotel is just outside the city) for our last weekend in Europe for this trip. We come home Tuesday. See you soon.

Praha

Just posted a gallery from Prague where we've been the last 4 nights. It's been a wonderful time. We slept a lot since we've been here. A good place to unwind I guess.

Tomorrow we travel 12 hours on 3 trains to Haarlem, just outside of Amsterdam where we'll base ourselves for the last 4 days of the trip. (Klaas, are you reading this?)

Okay. Now off to check in on Mike and Stacy. If you haven't been following their story, you can find your way over to Mike's blog here.

Bourgeois Scum That I Am

Well I never.

You see, we're traveling most of this trip on Eurail passes, which so happen to be 1st class. No, I did not specify 1st class... in fact, I would have bought the cheaper 2nd class option if there were one. There wasn't. So we've been in 1st class for most of this trip (train-wise, mind you...not on the flight).

Well... turns out we've gotten pretty used to this whole 1st class thing. It's been so nice to scoot past the masses of travelers and locals to find our cushy seats at the front (or sometimes back) of the train. We've had entire cars all to ourselves, including panoramic cars through the Rhine valley. Wow.

Well today we left the countries that our Eurail passes cover. We entered the Czech Republic and had to purchase actual train tickets. Looking at us (I guess) they assumed we were 2nd class and sold us those tickets. Not thinking about it, I took them. Well you can imagine how put out I was to find out that we were not going to be traveling 1st class on a 4-hour train ride to Prague.

Well I never.

I have become all that I thought wrong with the world. I have become the privileged 1st-classer. I weap.

So we rode 2nd class here and it was actually quite nice. And we made it safe and sound to our hotel in Prague. Ah...

4 nights here and then to Amsterdam with a possible stop-off in Berlin. Should we? You tell me.

Ciao.

More Contextless Photographs

Sorry for the lack of captions with these photo galleries. Perhaps to explain them, we can stop by some time.

Here are 3 new galleries...

Switzerland 2 (Interlaken and Luzern, along with the JailHotel we stayed in)
Germany (Rothenberg and Fussen/Bavaria)
Dachau

Again, sorry for not directly posting pics, but this categorizes them a bit better.

We're leaving Vienna tomorrow morning to take a 5 hour train into Prague. We'll be there for 4 nights or so.

Thanks for the emails and comments. This has been a great trip to have been on. Wow.

Arrival into Vienna

Switzerland onto Germany and now into Austria. We are staying with Birgitte Clark's parents in Vienna for 2 nights and there is wifi here, so hopefully I'll post some pics and reflections tomorrow if there's time.

It's been a wonderful trip. We're tired. But it's been amazing. Amazing.

Stories to tell over a pint...your treat?

Photos, Photos, Photos

Okay. I just created some galleries with some photos from our trip thus far. Just click on the below links, as they are divided by Country or City. Cool? Ciao.

And don't worry...there are only about a dozen photos for each link, give or take...

Bruges, Belgium
Paris, France
Figueres, Spain
Nice, France
Cinque Terre, Italy
Gimmelwald, Murren, and Alps, Switzerland

Enjoy!

Geslosse

That's the German word for closed. Everything up here is closed. Turns out it's between seasons. This is one of the (if not the) biggest snow-skiing areas in the Swiss Alps, but ski season ended a week ago. Summer doesn't begin until June here. So most everything is geslosse.

So what do you do in the Alps when everything is closed? Hiking and eating. Mmm.

So, we'll post some amazing photos from the trip thus far in a moment.....

Confederation of Helvetia

We are in Switzerland. Wow. Just paid way too much for a fondue dinner, but it's snowing in the Alps.

We rode a lift up 1500 ft in 4 minutes from Lauterbrunnen to Gimmelwald. I cried I was so scared. God!

Can you believe that we have wifi at 7000 ft. in the Swiss Alps? In a rustic barn setting? What is going on here?

Ah...

For those attempting to follow us (like my mom), so sorry that I haven't been able to keep you up better. Internet really has been hard to come by or we have simply been out of time.

Okay. An update.

Just left the Cinque Terre this morning. God, what an amazing place. Really. Probably our favorite place yet. Stayed 2 nights in the town of Riomaggiore. When we go back with our little one, we'll stay in Corniglia...it's the birthplace of pesto. Mmm. So yummy. I had 4 meals of fresh pesto and fresh pasta in the last 4-5 days. So good.

We are passing through Florence, hoping to connect with a friend from the States [Craig and Lora read: Savannah] and then head off to Switzerland. First Montreux, then the panoramic train to Interlaken, up a lift to the town of Gimmelwald.

I just talked with the proprietor there and he says the weather is bad. No worries, I've always wanted to see the Alps, so we're there.

I'm hoping I'll get to ski either in the Swiss Alps or the Austrian Alps. We'll see.

The rest of our trip is not really planned out. We'll probably sketch a finer detailed map once we have a few days up in Switzerland. Perhaps we'll stay there an extended time or jet out quickly. Don't know.

Strangely we ran into some of Holly's work friends as we were leaving the Cinque Terre this morning. So strange. So strange.

Oh The Places We Will Go

So we left Paris a couple nights ago on a TRENHOTEL, headed to Barcelona. What a wonderful place...Barcelona. Paris was wonderful as well. The people were very warm. Much warmer than we had been warned. Now we're in Figueres, north of Barcelona, Dalí's hometown.

Tomorrow to Nice on the French Riviera, then the Cinque Terre.

Sorry these are so short, but internet is 1 Euro for each 15 minutes! Still looking for that Shangri-La of free wifi...

We made it...

So, we're in Brugge, Belguim. We made it into Amsterdam with almost no sleep from our time in the sky. Too much excitement perhaps? Or because we were just too tired to sleep?

Either way, we made it. And we are having a wonderful time thus far. Tomorrow we'll take off from Brugge and head into Paris and then on into Spain days later.

Okay. That's enough for now. More later...

Remember to keep up with us by checking out our itinerary.

Ciao!

Reflections on This Week

This has been a heavy week. I have had multiple (albeit small) emotional breakdowns.

It has been in part due to the preparation for leaving to Europe (tomorrow at the crack of dawn) and in part due to the amount of work we have been attempting to complete before leaving... but it has also been in part due to my ever increasing desire to understand how goodness is brought into our world, both in small (micro) and large (macro) ways... and how I cannot seem to draft up a single, simple answer for such a complex dilemma.

And alas, this has been my framework for most of my life. That for whatever kind of puzzle you got, you just stick the right formula in... a solution for everyone as the Indigo Girls sing. It's a hard thing to recover from.

My spiritual tracks, my neural paths, my very natural tendencies have been in a very long process of being dismantled and taken apart (whilst trying to hold them all in focus in a single glance)... and they just want to plant back down into a simple, consistent, cohesive understanding that allows for my own limitations, but explains how goodness is brought forth into the world.

And Bono says I'd join the movement if there was one that I could believe in... and I'd say the same.

This week has been all over the place for me emotionally, but it has birthed something new in me. I'm not quite sure of what it is... some blessing and burden, one and the same.

My friend Emma sent me this book entitled Deglobalization: Ideas for a New World Economy and wow, it's rocking all my ignorance I had regarding globalized capitalism and it's many implications.

And I just saw V is for Vendetta and I am still working through it's implications.

Are there no poets, writers, screenwriters, songwriters who can teach of this revolution that comes by way of peace and love and self-sacrifice and not violence overcoming violence?

I am thankful for the Wachowski brothers imaginative efforts... social prophets in our own time. But is this only means of revolution... of healing humanity... of truly allowing goodness to be cultivated in this world... through a violent overthrow?

And all this during a week I almost forgot about... the week of my Master's final days. And what does the cross have to say about this? Everything. That there is a narrative that we can choose to be a part of that denounces violence as a means of bringing shalom into our world. That it comes through our death (self-critique/sacrifice), not through our taking of lives that inhumane governments will be dismantled... And it comes from our own self-awareness in this whole story.

Pick up your cross and follow me... the price of social non-conformity, the symbol of non-violent revolution... that this peasant first-century Jew did not lose in his death on the cross. Rather, he started (or fulfilled or started-again) a movement that I hope will come to fuller fruition in my life.

So what does the cross mean to me this Easter weekend? That we are called to help midwife the Kingdom of God into our midst... and that we are called to this in the most self-sacrificial of ways (even unto our own death). That this message that was at the core of Jesus of Nazareth's teaching (ie. Re-imagine your life/world! The Kingdom of God is at hand) is only realized when humanity realizes that we might have more to do with this than we thought...

Shameful

I am a web developer and I just deleted my previous template. Shame, shame, shame..............

Smug-Alert!

If you haven't seen the South Park episode on Smug Hybrid drivers leaving their small town to move to San Francisco where everyone is like them, then you must download it from iTunes now and comment here about how our life is a joke and I should stop smelling my own farts. Just download the episode.

Here's an interesting article that references the episode.

Or Am I Just Passing Through?

The unexamined life is not worth living... - Socrates

The unexamined world is not worth living in... - Me, probably inadvertently quoting someone else

...or am I the next Socrates? Hmm?

Anniversaries and Such

Today is the 6-month anniversary of us leaving Southern California. It's also the first day of the 13th week of pregnancy (or so we're told). And tomorrow is our 5-year anniversary.

Hoorah! Congrats! Yippee!

So Ryan, do you feel much more resolved or mature or enlightened? Um. Maybe. Sort of. No, everything's much more complicated now. Not that it was simpler then. Perhaps I knew less then and it made things seem simpler.

Well, do you miss those days or love these days? I'd never return to ignorance or apathy...or at least I don't want to. I love these days, but I am looking forward to having my own bed back (or at least have the bed that Craig and Lora offer us...are you still offering it, our true family :) ?) and I am looking to unwind from all these conversations. I feel a bit talked out...not that I haven't loved it...but that which is life-giving can turn out to be life-taking at some point.

Do you feel like you've arrived at a better place? Personally? Um, I don't know. I realized just how fine a line of idealist and asshole I walk daily. I often err on the side of the latter, valuing ideas over people, ideals over possibilities...but I'm trying to use that self-realization to propel forward. I feel like we've been on input mode for 6 months...and I hope that doesn't change...but I hope I can spend the next 6 months implementing and reflecting. I've realized that life is more cyclical than linear...so hopefully we'll never stop 'pilgrimaging'.

What do you regret? Wow. Uh, I think like what I said above...that I sometimes value ideas over people. And me doing that is as dangerous as people valuing 'western democracy' over iraqi/afghani people, you know? So, I've again turned out to be the world's biggest hypocrite.

What's ahead? Europe. A kid. San Francisco.

San Francisco? Yah. San Francisco. We've decided that we'd like to move there in July or August. Have the baby there and spend the next year or so in the City. We've several friends in the SF-Oakland Bay Area and I think we'll be able to get some traction behind some of these ideas we've been talking about.

Anything else? Well, I guess I am just so thankful for the people who have made our trip possible...those who have valued our music, our stories, our life. Those who have shared, those who have asked us to share, those who have offered wisdom, guidance... and those who have simply been our friends along the way. This has been an incredible trip...really.

So you sound like the trip's over? Well, no. Just this leg is ending this week. Back to CA and then Europe. Then we come back in May and do one last big loop across the US to see friends and family and be a part of some cool get-togethers like the Emergent dealio in MN and the PAPA Festival in Eastern Tennessee. Those should be cool. And then San Francisco. But the pilgrimage is never over...

Living off the Kindness of Acquaintances

The last week or so has been spent throughout the beautiful NorthWest. Oregon and Washington have always been states that Holly and I've had love affairs with. Whilst we seem to be faithful to California, if ever we were to cheat, it would be with the NorthWest we-thinks.

Last week, we (along with my sister who has documented the trip) were put up by the Burnett family in Woodinville, on the northeast side of Lake Washington. Then we moved over a little ways west to stay with the Lewis family. What kind people...hardly knowing us and opening their homes and cupboards to us. And now their essentially family.

We have decided that we resonate with Portland a bit more than Seattle. Seattle sure seems like it's grown up a bit, while Portland still has a raw-ness that we really vibed with. Perhaps not now, but someday we'll live here...almost for certain.

Again...

The Cobalt Season is again doing a live radio show and you can stream it live here. It's at 4pm PST if you're around. I know it's on the iTunes radio list. KAOS is the name of the station. It's based out of Olympia, WA.

Perhaps you could call in or email a song request? (360-867-KAOS) That would give the impression that there are people out there who actually like and vibe with our music... :)

Okay. Information has been disseminated.

Mmm.

So the way we have kept healthy along our last 6 months on the road has been with this book...

Wow. It has made our trip amazing as it has pointed us to several mom-and-pop healthy food options along the way.

You know, there was a time when I could not imagine being on the road and eating healthy. Now I know there are several cool options...and it has put us in touch with some of the 'cool' cultural centers of each city we're in.

Ashdown's New Album

Jasen Ashdown has a new album on its way out. I should know... I produced it. And it's good. Thoughtful contemplative songs for the Lenten season. All adaptations from ancient prayers/poems.

You can go to his Myspace page to check out pre-mastered 'demos' of the new songs.

It was a fun project to work on...definitely his best work yet as a songwriter. Check out his stuff and tell him he should write more songs.

The Cobalt Season Interview on the Radio!

Hey. So wanted to let you know that if you click here, it will (or at least should) launch iTunes for a streaming of KMUN, an Astoria-based radio station that Holly and I will be on this evening.

The show starts at 9pm PST and lasts an hour. We'll be playing some tunes and trying to get her to spin some of our friend's discs as well.

Check it out. It streams live...

The War Project: 9 Acts of Determination

Went and saw this play last night. Wow. Unbelievable. If you are in the Portland area, please come down and see this play. It will rock your concrete thoughts on war and death.

From their website...

Sojourn Theatre's The War Project: 9 Acts of Determination is a partially interview-based, poetic investigation of democracy and the most significant choice we make as a citizenry.

Watch seven performers fight for the soul of democracy as debate collides with ethical hand-to-hand combat in a winner-take-all spectacle of truly intimate proportions. Join us as Sojourn Theatre concludes a year of research, road trips, and theatrical investigations with an exploration of the question: How, as a nation, do we decide what to kill and die for?

And a note from the director...

This is not a show with no point of view.

It has a point of view –

killing and dying are less desirable than desirable,

and

war is not simply a magic event conjured upon the masses by outside forces beyond our control.

It is a part of the world we inhabit...part of the world we make.

How do we engage our ethical muscle in moments of societal choice?

Precisely my question as well...

Oh The Places We Will Go

We are in Portland, Oregon right now. What a wonderful city. Wow. We're in Oregon for another 4-5 days and then we're up into Washington. We have a few shows lined up for both states over the next couple weeks. So if you're around, come check us out or let's hook up for drinks or something. Like the show Monday night at Red and Black Café with Jeff Wetherell. Should be great.

We're getting pretty excited about our upcoming Europe trip. It's something we have wanted to do for some time. Pretty cool that on our 5th anniversary we can do something like this.

I have created a web page that charts where we'll be and what we'll be doing. If you are interested in such a thing, check it out here. I am constantly updating it as we plan and gather resources. If you have any suggestions, please let me know.

Life Emerging From the Road

Holly and I found out a little while ago that we are pregnant. 11 weeks pregnant today. Pretty exciting.

Just went in for our first midwife appointment a couple weeks ago. Got our first picture.

Meet the newest member of the Sharp family.



So, due date is October 12th. A fitting time for us as fall has always been our time of transition. We're very excited...very excited.

This is life that was birthed out of our pilgrimage...that's the coolest thing. All the ideas/dreams/visions for a different way of living that were planted in us along the way have produced life. Wow.

More on the Family Metaphor Regarding Politics and Society

Props to my buddy Jay for pointing this article out to me. The writer goes on to make the point that we understand complex systems (like say politics and society) via metaphor. And the metaphor given to politics and society is a familial one...

From the Rockridge Institute website... In American culture there are two opposed and idealized models of the family, the Nurturant Parent model and the Strict Father model. The metaphor of the Nation as a Family maps the values and relationships from those family models onto our politics, creating 'liberal' and 'conservative' political positions that we understand through our models of family structure.

It's a fascinating short read.

Loyalty to Authority

Rick didn't write this, but he found it, so I'm giving him props. Interesting stuff man.

The key element that binds Christianism with Bush Republicanism is fealty to patriarchal leadership. That's the institutional structure of the churches that are now the Republican base; and it's only natural that the fundamentalist psyche, which is rooted in obedience and reverence for the inerrant pastor, should be transferred to the presidency. That's why I think Bush's ratings won't go much below 25 percent; because 25 percent is about the proportion of the electorate that is fundamentalist andsupports Bush for religious rather than political reasons. They are immune to empirical argument, because their thought-structure is not empirical; it is dogmatic. If the facts overwhelm them, they will simply argue that the 'liberal media' is lying. Bruce poignantly thinks the GOP is still the secular, empirical, skeptical party it once was. It's not: it's a fundamentalist church with some huge bribes for business interests on the side, leveraged by massive debts. So all criticism is disloyalty; and disloyalty is heresy. The facts don't matter. Obey the pastor. Or be damned.

Track 11: The Great Inversion

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NOTES:

Last song on the album. Last song written, last song recorded...and I wasn't even sure if it'd vibe with the rest of the project...but I put it on because it was important to me.

I wrote this just days after watching The Corporation and reflecting on what it means to live truly subversively in a world that is so commercialized, materialized, and militarized.

There is this great part in the Gospels where Jesus basically offers an opposing alternative to all that the religious establishment found to be true. He says, You heard it said this way, but I tell you this... and it's still so moving to me today.

Once again, the religious and political and retail establishments pump out all this shit about how the world really works, as though these are some sort of universal, context-less, ahistorical ideas. So much of what I hear in churches (and I don't hear much in them anymore) is so self-centered, all about me, all about comfort.

I see this revolutionary saying, You heard it said from politicians and pastors that violence for peace's sake is justified or get security in life no matter what it takes or pay no attention to where you buy your stuff... but I say to you love is the only way, and I remind you that the Son of Man had no place to rest his head, and when I said to love your neighbor, I meant all your neighbors... or at least that's what I hear him saying.

LYRICS:

Come, my child, away
Come away where we can be
Come, my child, away
Come away, away with me

Don't you know it?
Child, I hear you when you call
All your groaning and moaning, postponing the owning of everything
I can feel it in all

But that was not the plan
Or I should say, it's not the dream
Greedy privitization, big fat corporations, some one Christian nation
How'd they think that's what I mean?

Come, my child, away
Come away where we can be
Come, my child, away
Come away, come and see

They said eye for eye
But I tell you cheek by cheek
They said hustle and work to be comfortable, powerful
I say blessed are the meek

But twist and turn my words
And you could wage war on half the earth
You could kill all the others, the sisters and brothers, fathers and mothers
Mark them by place of birth

Come, my child, away
Come away where we can be
Come, my child, away
Come away and now be free

Don't waste your life away
Waitin' on that brighter day
You really are the one
To bring the healing that's begun... 'cause it's begun

And it's all in love I say
Don't opt for a diff'rent way
Stop swallowin' their cliché
As if it's the only way, it's overplayed

And everyone's overpaid
But feel like we can't get away
A new car won't save the day
It's not the way

I said you would be free
And I mean free indeed
Free from that white, middle-class American Dream
Free from lonliness, free from greed

Just pick up and follow me
To Kingdom Come
A place where we all will run
A new life that has begun
Right now it has begun

GET THE STUDIO ALBUM or
GET THE LIVE ALBUM

Patrick, the Saint

So I realize that I might get branded heretic for this, but what else is new?

vs.

We were having a discussion last night about the 4-leaf clover and the 3-leaf clover. As we'd heard, St. Patrick found the 3-leaf clover to be a great illustration for the trinity...that is, a good way to explain that God was Father-Son-Spirit. He used it in explaining the triune nature of God.

We wondered out loud what the 4-leaf would mean then? Perhaps he would include himself?

And it got me thinking about how so much theology is based around how people are really just pawns...and really heaven is the reality and not here-and-now. And I disagree with so much of that. It just doesn't seem to be much of what Jesus spoke about...with the Kingdom being at hand and his mission being so dependent on the disciples who bore his name.

So perhaps a 4-leaf clover is a better understanding of how God works in this world...that it's Father-Son-Spirit-Creation...all in harmony...connected...inter-reliant.

Or am I just a heretic with some wishful thinking? Or am I just articulating someone else's thoughts?

Pretty Cool

...to see that The Cobalt Season is in regular rotation in Olympia, Washington.



If you live near Olympia, please call (360-867-6896) or email KAOS FM to request more The Cobalt Season.

Blogging Blues

So, I just swapped over some of my files to different servers. Turns out that I lost some files along the way...including my banner from the blog. Sad day.

The Stars at Night... Are Big and Bright...

...but not in Houston, where Holly and I are this week. It's nice to be back in the 70s temperature-wise. The sticky shirt thing from the humidity? Yah, that's not so cool.

Out here for 10 days producing an album for Mr. Jasen Ashdown...a lenten season album. 6 songs to soothe the soul.

Perhaps a house show as well.

Yes, cell phones and email do work in the Lone Star State so you can reach me should ya need to pardner.

Track 10: I, Obstruction

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NOTES:

Life is full of failure. And to succeed is only possible by not fearing failure. Still, I fear failure. I fear having made decisions that ended me in places that are not as important as others.

My friends are writing books, saving the world, giving away all their money. S'pose I'll inspire a revolution? I dunno. Perhaps I should have focussed less of my life energy on ideas and more on relationships.

People, after all, are more important than ideas...says Bono.

Turns out I am the obstruction in the River of Life that is attempting to make its way through, bringing healing into this world. How do I stop being part of the problem? Certainly self-awareness is a place to start?

LYRICS:

It's flat for miles around me
Land as far as I can see
S'pose the world is kinda like that
Seems a fine idea to me

So I'll write it in a book now
And I'll sell it to the masses
And I'll inspire a revolution
Until the lonliness passes

And what the hell's wrong with me?
I should have been a father
I should have been a brother
I should have been a friend

So forget about religion
It'll never save your soul
Not even capitalism
Son it could make your wife a whore

Just get rid of all your crap now
Just give it to the poor
So that they can have your crap now
So that they can want some more

Turns out it's never quite that easy
Or perhaps it really is
That man's words, they come to haunt me
Those words they come to haunt me

I need a brand new story
One to set my world at peace
Tired of waiting here 'till Glory
I need that Kingdom to release

Come floodin' down my street here
Come streamin' through my hall
Come swellin' up around my bedside
Come with healing now for all

It turns out I am the obstruction
Turns out I have been one
To loose them or enslave them
And just leave them all undone

GET THE STUDIO ALBUM or
GET THE LIVE ALBUM

Thanks Craig...

...for pointing me to this old Terry Gross interview with Triumph the Insult Comic dog. Ha.

Talents Remixed

I'm reading Ched Myer's Binding the Strong Man: A Political Reading of Mark's Story of Jesus. Incredible book. Been reading it for a couple months now. Wow. Mind-blowing.

I just was in a conversation about investment, savings, future planning. We pondered the Parable of the Talents. We had always heard it as a pro-investment story. Ched says that we might have once again domesticized one of Jesus' truly subversive parables again. The article is worth the read.

A snippet...

When the sociocultural context indigenous to the story is ignored or suppressed, however, we inevitably recontextualize the story in terms of our own unconscious political assumptions. Our imposed schema often defy the coherence of the text itself.

More importantly, though, this interpretive strategy functions to domesticate the parable to conform with our status quo. Thus stories meant to challenge our preconceptions are used to legitimate them. In this way, we disarm the some of the Gospels' most powerful rhetorical weapons--weapons whose very intent is to rescue believers from domestication by that same status quo.

LIVE: It's now available...

Very excited to announce the newest album from The Cobalt Season... LIVE: Deconstructing the American Dream. 17 tracks of conversation and song. I think it really captures the vibe and experience of our live shows. Allowing for flub-ups and spontaneous happenings.



It's available exclusively for download...

Or check out the store for more ordering options... Or email me about reviewing it on/in your blog/publication and getting the download comped!

And Just Like That, The World Changes

In the words of Over The Rhine, I can't bear the news in the evening...

While viruses and security weaknesses are almost everyday occurrences for owners of Windows-based computers, they are virtually unheard of in the world of Apple.

But that world is changing.

FRICK!

Track 9: El Greco

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Some art to set the tone. Look up close for the original lyrics on this piece that Holly and I did.



NOTES:

Life is fragile. So are relationships. It's hard to know how to live in a certain way communally... how to live expecting and embracing diversity on common themes.

Lord knows I haven't yet figured it out.

LYRICS:

If you press to hard, you might break me
And if I say too much, you might crumble
Or is this already done?

Too many times I've tried to save you, but I've lost you
Too many times I've tried and failed
And failed
And this is all I know

So dont try to catch me
You've nothing to say
If I drift farther, walk away

GET THE ALBUM

Photos from the Road

I realized that I have inputed a great deal of text this last month. How about some pics? Haven't taken as many as I ought to have, but hopefully it'll translate our trip thus far...

Ah, barbed wire...


A show at SCU with Mr. Jesse Nason...




The Dave Hanley Band. We played this show with them in Oakland and will do another this week in Modesto. Great folksy-bluegrassy heartfelt songwriting...


A house show in the 3rd story of a house in the Mission District...


An evening at the Brainwash Café in San Francisco...


Headin' north up the 1. View out the car window... Wow.


Pulled off of Hwy 1 just south of Ft. Bragg...


The Cobalt Season on a marquis. This is a first...


The Trinity River (along CA Hwy 299)...


Driving Hwys 1 and 299 were so incredible for me. Such beauty. Few people around. It felt at times what I imagine driving the Irish coast to feel like. On the 299, we found a wonderful little place called Straw House Café where we had one of the better meals we've had this year! Mmm.

Just Now... Really.

I just purchased our tickets to Europe and our Eurail passes. Kinda scary to solidify it. We're really going.

Care to know the details? They have changed.

We leave April 16th from San Francisco. We arrive into Amsterdam the morning of the 17th, hop a train to Brussels where we'll get our first night of sleep. Then we fly to Barcelona and begin our trek across Spain, France, Switzerland, Italy, Germany, France, Luxemborg, Belgium, and back up to Amsterdam by May 16th. Then we'll fly back to the States to be home May 17th.

It both wears me out and excites me to type it. Wow. We're really going.

Sparrows

A new painting. It's a diptic (2 pieces to create 1 larger piece). A little something the wife did. I simply scribbled some words on it...and the words aren't even mine.

More of her paintings...

Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday

Ash Wednesday has come to be a marker-point each year for me. It begins a season I look forward to (and fear)... Lent.

I did not grow up Catholic, so Lent is a bit of a new thing for me... something that I've only really discovered in my adult life. But it has been a formative thing these last couple a few years.

Lent is an opportunity each year to work out of my system some form of unhealth, whether it be spiritual unhealth, physical unhealth, both, all, whatever. It's a chance to release something for 40 days to focus on something else. And at the end of the 40 days, it's a chance to re-negotiate one's relationship with that thing.

Holly is going to attempt a more additive approach this year. I might stick to my nominal subtractive formula.

Will has some comments on Lenten Practices. He says This year in community we will also be practicing a proactive discipline. So, instead of simply denying ourselves something, we will be seeking to actively do something that strengthens our ties to our community, whatever that community might be.

Track 8: My Pilgrimage

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NOTES:

I feel as though I have shared an abbreviated version of this story a thousand times now. That almost 5 months ago, we moved out of our Oceanside apartment, packed our stuff into storage, and left.

What a trip it has been. What a trip indeed. A pilgrimage. A chance to go out and learn from others. Share stories and hear even more. To be inspired and hopefully somehow inspire along the way.

Autumn air has been our cure in so many ways...

LYRICS:

Well today is a brand new day, I'll start again
Open-eyed, I can see the sky open up for me
Here we are, you and me, we can see we're going somewhere
But where we go, I dunno, feel it out when we get there

Well yesterday, you could say, is just a blip on my screen
Follow me close, heel to toes, you'll see what I mean
Or maybe you won't or you shan't or you can't hear what I say
Either way, yeah or nay, gotta go, gotta leave this place

And the mysteries they follow me into the backroads
And the sunset comes to tuck me in; wake to the sparrows
The road becomes my home again if I need one
The earth becomes my bed; my light, the sun
Oh and I will follow...

Too many dreams, crazy schemes, for us just to sit here
Not that we know what's ahead, but we're dead in the water now
Home's not what we thought, what we bought, did we buy, I'm not so sure
But seasons change, rearrange, and autumn air has been our cure

And the mysteries they follow me into the backroads
And the sunset comes to tuck me in; wake to the sparrows
The road becomes my home again if I need one
The earth becomes my bed; my light, the sun
Oh and I will follow...

Please don't forget us while we're gone...

And the mysteries they're taking me down the backroads
And the sun is up to lead the way... east, I suppose
The trees becomes my travellin' friends cause I'll need one
The earth is now my bed; my light, the sun
Oh and I will follow...

GET THE ALBUM

The Great River

Turns out I have been using parts of this quote for months, but I have to thank Smallman for showing me where it was from. And what a beautiful speech this is. And how timely for some of us.

We have been telling the people that this is the Eleventh Hour.

Now you must go back and tell the people that this is The Hour.

And there are things to be considered. Where are you living? What are
you doing? What are your relationships? Are you in the right relation?
Where is your water? Know your garden.

It is time to speak your truth: Create your community. Be good to each other.

And do not look outside yourself for the leader: This could be a good time!

There is a river flowing now very fast. It is so great and swift that
there are those who will be afraid. They will try to hold onto the
shore. They will feel they are being torn apart and they will suffer
greatly.

Know the river has its destination.

The elders say we must let go of the shore, and push off into the
river, keep our eyes open, and our head above the water.

See who is in there and celebrate. At this time in history, we are to
take nothing personally. Least of all ourselves. For the moment that
we do, our spiritual growth and journey comes to a halt.

The time of the lone wolf is over. Gather yourselves! Banish the word
struggle from your attitude and your vocabulary. All that you do now
must be done in a sacred manner... and in celebration.

We are the ones we've been waiting for...

"The Great River" - The Elders, Hopi Nation, Oraibi, Arizona

Ha!

Thanks to Mike for one of the funniest things I have seen online in some time. A new book called A Field Guide to Evangelicals and Their Habitat.

As Mike said, it's worth your time to check out the previewable chapter.

Here's a screenshot of the MASTER LIST OF WHO GOES TO HELL...

We're Playing In The Bay, Yo

So Darin wanted to know where we were playing in the Bay... since I only posted dates/cities on our itinerary. So, for those of you interested in seeing The Cobalt Season (me and Holly), go here for a complete list of dates and maps. Below for you slackers who just want the quick info...

Thursday 8pm Red Rock Coffee - Mountain View, CA

Friday 7pm Mama Buzz Café - Oakland, CA

Saturday 8.30pm The Well (House Show) - San Francisco, CA

Monday 8pm Brainwash Café - San Francisco, CA

Revised Itinerary

Some of you have been asking where we're going to be and when... For you, here it is, our 'official intinerary'. Cheers!

Please, please, please... if it looks like we will be in your area, let's connect!

Feb 23 - Los Altos, CA
Feb 24 - Oakland, CA
Feb 25 - San Francisco, CA
Feb 26 - Oakland, CA
Feb 27 - San Francisco, CA
Feb 28 - Oakland, CA
March 1 - Northern CA Coast
March 2 - McKinleyville, CA
March 3 - Redding, CA
March 4 - Chico, CA
March 5 - Davis, CA
March 6-9 - Sacramento/Tahoe, CA
March 10 - Modesto, CA
March 11 - Sacramento, CA

March 12-22 - Houston, TX

March 23-24 - Driving to OR
March 25-27 - Portland, OR
March 28-29 - Astoria, OR

March 30 - Driving to WA
March 31-April 4 - Seattle, WA
April 5-7 - Olympia/Tacoma, WA
April 8-10 - Seattle, WA
April 11-14 - Olympic Peninsula, WA

Traveling and more traveling...

It's been a good while since I last posted (by my standards) and I know some of my posts have been fewer and far between. Some of it has been intentional... that is, I wonder sometimes about the value of dis-embodied ideas on a screen... I mean, is information really that transformational outside of real relationships? ...and some of it has been simply because we have been traveling so much. And that does not look to let up soon.

I will continue to post songs on each Monday (taking a break on behalf on Mr. Lincoln and Mr. Washington, God rest their souls), starting next week.

I will also attempt to post an itinerary for those of you who would find it useful... so you can track/stalk us if you wish.

Hope you are well. What a wonderful opportunity we have had and continue to have... traveling to see and interact with other's lives. This has been a remarkable season of life for us. Wow.

Adbusters Activist

I stumbled upon this article online. I love this magazine.

Unfortunately, I dropped the activist ball as I settled back into my daily routine. There was work, soccer games and homework. So I left it up to “them” to handle in a sensible way, but while I was clocked out, the bosses took liberties. They constructed an invisible terror.

I can’t put my finger on what “it” is because “it” is in an imperceptible fog. Sometimes I stop dead in my tracks and spin around to see what’s watching me. Usually, it’s just a camera or uniform that’s there for my safety. This should be fine, since I asked and paid for this security in a roundabout way. But it doesn’t feel right.

In a bizarre example of this trigger-finger patriotism, an American citizen was arrested in a suburban mall for wearing a t-shirt that said “Peace on Earth” and “Give Peace a Chance.” Most of us laughed at this caricature of overanxious mall cops, but deep down, we felt a twinge of terminal illness, a shortness of breath.

What was once considered a basic freedom of speech can now be deemed anti-US. Protesting against government machinery could be considered sympathizing with terrorists. Worse, the laws are open-ended – purposely ambiguous, they cover any conceivable scenario.

Our incessant need for home comforts and paternal protection has birthed a police state of sorts. We’ve become a republic of jumpy guardians, anxious to perform our patriotic duty at all costs. I thought I was just being paranoid, but then I looked at the Patriot Act, which essentially says that anyone could be arrested for being a member of any group that at anytime might be considered anti-US.

Read the whole article. Or read about ways that America is keeping its citizens safe.

Track 7: Pull Me Through

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NOTES:

I want to save the world. I want to rescue everyone (including myself) from self-destructive patterns, to help them to see a better way. I want to be everything to everyone.

But I've realized that I can only do so much... and that's hard to come to grips with.

Parker Palmer, in his book Let Your Life Speak, writes about becoming aware of (and familiar with) our shadows, our weaknesses, our liabilities. He says that when you build a bridge, you consider the strengths and weaknesses of the elements that you will build with. Wood has certain properties that make it wood, but there are weak, shadow sides to the wood as well. It simply cannot be steel.

People are not raw natural resources to be extracted and then made into whatever someone wants them to be. We all come with some preset (or at least pre-disposed) strengths and weaknesses. Not all of us can be astronauts or the President of the US or a business-owner.

But isn't that freeing to hear? Aren't those saving words? That we can be who we were created to be and not who society tells us or expects us to be? I think so.

Still, this song is about personally coming to terms with that before we left Oceanside.

LYRICS:

Closed eyes
Bruised heart
I would know you anywhere

Too many times
Been torn apart
I know what's behind that stare

But I can't pull you through
I'm not the one to


These latter days
Been flyin' low
Not knowing what's to come 'round here

If salvation rings
And mercy sings
Then why all of this played-out fear?

It's just brings me down
I can't come around


Holly sighs
Says it's a long-time comin'
Perhaps I shoulda listened back then

Maybe we're the same
Or maybe I'm to blame
But something's gotta give or bend

And you can't pull me through
Even if you wanted to

You can't pull me through
I know you wanted to


Won't somebody pull me through?

GET THE ALBUM

Lost in Augora Hills, CA

This afternoon, Holly and I drove up from South Orange County to Ventura County. We are staying with some friends near Thousand Oaks.

They live near these beautiful hills. So, after catching up with them for an hour or so this afternoon, I say, "Let's go hike those hills." We did.

We began our trek at least an hour before sunset...with plenty of time to get up and down and back home...but we got lost. And we found ourselves traversing through bushes taller than me in the dark and near-dark.

Dark outside I tell ya. Dark. And noises. And oh the scurrying that we heard.

But we made it home. Ahh.

So strange that civilization was always in sight, but we just couldn't find our way back to it. That's got to be a metaphor for something right?

Back in O-side

Played a show with Mike Devries and friends tonight in Orange County. Drove south and now we're about to crash at the 814 in Oceanside. Nice to be back at 'home'. Time for sleepytime.

...

Thanks Scott for the thoughtful posting today.

Too often our motives smacks of paternalism {as do the words downtrodden, underclass} I the wealthy westerner, reach out in compassion to help you improve yourself. We see ourselves as on the side of Christ by giving to the needy, Mathew 25 makes it plain however that Jesus is on the side of the poor, and we serve best by elevating the downtrodden to the place of Jesus... - Mahatma Gandhi

Tax Day

Working on Turbo Tax today to file our 2005 Income Tax Return... you know, filling out our Schedule C, learning about interesting exemptions and deductions... like this one...



Who knew? I wonder what checking that box would get me.......

Track 6: Glory

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NOTES:

I wrote this song just after hearing about this news story. I guess some of my details are/were off, but the point stands: One person's decision caused these people's death.

It struck an interesting chord in me because in light of the US occupation in Iraq. One man's decision resulting in so much death.

Some say pride is the biggest sin. I think that stickin' to your guns when you're dead wrong might just be pride. You do the math...

LYRICS:

im so tired of hearin the same old story
to grim to bleak to have to look towards that one day in glory
when one mans plan seem to force some to head over... before their time
but he ran away, run away, don't think he'll mind

run away... you'll be fine...

damned when our dreams dont get realized
damned when we're found out by all our petty lies
damned when our plans fail, damned when people try
damned when i cant see the truth through these jaded eyes

these eyes... see through these eyes...

but i'll tell ya somethin'
more than i want to know, i want to feel
that somehow... its all gonna be alright
tell me it's gonna be alright

ill tell ya about this young man who thought it was over
still that gas-guzzlin suv just couldnt crossover
damned boy walked though, kept to that high ground
them people had no choice, inside those train cars they drowned

he walked away... from this mess...

tell me bout that president from yesteryear
somethin about a better way of life through military fear
somethin about a better plan, this better man was stickin to his guns
damn theres gotta be a better way this world can be run

but i'll tell ya somethin'
more than i want to know, i want to feel
that somehow... its gonna be alright

and more than i want to see, i need to hear
someone tell me somehow... that it's gonna be alright
tell me it's gonna be alright

GET THE ALBUM or better yet, come see us play...

Hello San Diego!

It's been nice to be back in San Diego. Got in Friday night. Had dinner with my sister. Spent some good time with our 'hosts'... Brooke and Jason Evans. Last night did a house show at their place. What a great time. Incredible conversations. And plenty of New Castle and hefeweizen. Mmm.

Some pics of the Matts who went before me...




And of us...




Nights like this remind me that it is good that we are doing what we are doing. That it fits. That it's potentially helpful. That helps me sleep at night.

Heading South

We left Santa Cruz (and the whole of the Bay Area) on Monday and headed south down Highway 1. Saw the elephant seals...they had just had pups.



We stopped in Cambria for a night (thanks to Travelzoo) and found ourselves a couple wineries. The next day we met our friends Brad and Birgitte Clark in San Luis Obisbo for lunch...then headed up to Hearst Castle (which was closed).

Spent the last couple nights in Lompoc (where the Clarks reside). It's been a restful, conversive time. Good stuff.

Today we're heading south to San Diego, where we'll be for the next week or so. It's good to be back on the road...really good.

And I'm excited about this trip. It will have a very different personality from our Fall Pilgrimage just because we're playing more bars and coffee houses and going to places where we know less people...but places we are drawn to all the same (Pacific NW).

Exciting times lie ahead...in so many ways.

Track 5: Twenty-Eight

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NOTES:

This song was originally called Now I'm Twenty Eight. I wrote it thinking about where I am at these days, where I thought I'd be, and perhaps where others though I would be.

It's tricky trying to catch up with a man like Jesus... or Gandhi or Sidartha for that matter. But my eyes are fixed on trying to emulate this man who changed the world through love. But I find myself out of breath often.

My buddy Mike wondered if this song was about being 'born into the church'. I don't know whether it's about literal family, spiritual family, or metaphorical family. I've always felt a bit misunderstood, so perhaps it's all three.

LYRICS:

27 years have passed me by
And I was just sittin' here
Tryin' to find myself

The best I can remember I'm the one
The smoking gun
Always the problem child

See I was born into family that was blind
Blind to the future
Blind to my searchin' heart

Reckon they don't mean me any harm
Just doin' what they're doin'
And I'm doin' fine now

Cause I found my voice
Saw I had a choice
And mine was not to follow
But what am I to do?
Am I just passin' through?

Well 27 years could not reconcile
Me to my searchin'
Never findin' what I'm lookin' for

Runnin' out of breath to understand
Catchin' up with a man
Who died all those years ago

And I'm not so strong
Hope you won't wait too long
Cause I'm so damn tired of waiting
But what am I to do?
Who am I to you?

27 years and I'm still here
Same scared kid
Lookin' for his freedom

But freedom's seldom what we think it is
Empty rhetoric
Freedom's often greed dressed-up

So I'll just move on
Find somewhere to belong
And wonder where you're comin' and you're goin'
And hope to see you then
My friend

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Thanks Chris...

...for this post.



Chris writes... I remember hearing about this air attack about two weeks ago and was speechless at what the CIA had done. I was not surprised, for I know that the CIA historically does whatever violent thing it wants (or thinks it needs) to steer the course of history. But something was so strange that this event was blatantly public as news stations were covering the random bombing of a building 'believed' to contain an Al Qaeda operative. The story is eerily mirrored in the recent movie Syriana. Just out of nowhere, a building in a village (Damadola) is bombed from the sky by the CIA. Imagine that happening next to your house...They found that the suspect was not in the house, about 13 (8 men and 5 women) people were killed, and three houses bombed. Here is a news story (AP/Yahoo) on the event.

Has anyone found the irony in the US saying that it will not deal with Hamas unless they 'renounce violence'???!!! Hilarious! This statement has been so true during this civilian-killing, terror-inducing 'war on terror': If you have one ship you are a pirate; if you have a whole fleet you are a prestigious navy.

Cornel West

You might want to option-click here to download an incredible speeh by Cornel West at Whitman College. (Here are some others including Gandhi's grandson.)

Jason Evans told me to hunt down any of this guy's MP3s. Thanks man.

Me: MIA

Busy. Busy. Busy. Three words that define my daily rhythm right now. Finishing up the new Relational Tithe site. Booking shows for this upcoming trip. Managing a few jobs, estimating others, invoicing others.

I feel like I am full of shit. I have felt this way for a long time. My friend Troy says that we're all full of shit. Perhaps he's right. And perhaps that's the life of a prophet or an idealist or a conscious human.

All we have are best-attempts, right?

Here's a poem I wrote in Michigan last year and refined this month in Santa Cruz.

I need directions to Zion. How long will we drive around in our seclusion-capsules, searching circularly for the mountain of wholeness? Have we lost our way or do we only have best-guesses? Is there guidance in our chaos or are we doomed to the laws of the supposed material? Decay? Brokenness? Death? Can all be made whole as we climb Mount Zion?

Shows in CA

We're still booking and arranging our West Coast trip, but here are some upcoming CA dates to let you know about.

Please come out if you're in the area... For maps, go to THE COBALT SEASON website.

Feb 4th - San Diego, CA - Evan/Kimble Abode
Feb 11th - Mission Viejo, CA - South County United
Feb 14th - Los Angeles, CA - Lava Lounge
Feb 16th - Riverside, CA - O'Farrell Abode

Feb 23rd - Mountain View, CA - Red Rock Coffee
Feb 24th - Oakland, CA - Mama Buzz Café
Feb 25th - San Francisco, CA - House Show TBD
Feb 27th - San Francisco, CA - Brainwash Café

March 2nd - Humboldt, CA - Six Rivers Brewery
March 4th - Chico, CA - Café Flo

Track 4: The Bottom Line

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NOTES:

This song was originally called A Short Essay on the US Armed Forces, the American Corporation, and the American Church, but that seemed too long and contrived.

Here it stands, The Bottom Line.

LYRICS:

Little guns
Little kisses
Kiss them all goodbye
Hope they'll miss us

Wasted thoughts
More ammunition
The machine will have it's way
Despite our wishin'


Go back downtown
Grey stone and mortar
Cold calls to the poor
"Will you sell your daughter?"

Name your price
Get bottom dollar
Suburban afterlife
A lamb to slaughter


Too many times
No matter how high we fly
It goes around around around around
You will see
It's who you wanted to be
You think that you'll be free
But it goes around around around around around


An empty hall
A stained-glass alter
If you don't pull us out
We might falter

God need your goods
God need your money
To help us pay the rent
And keep it sunny
'Cause we keep it sunny


Too many times
No matter how high we climb
It goes around around around around
You will see
It's who you wanted to be
You think that you'll be free
But it goes around around around around around


Oh and you will see
It's not what you want to be
You though that you'd be free
But it just goes around around around around around again

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